Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?

A. Good questions. One way is to determine how much trust the teen-ager has earned.

To use a banking metaphor, if the teen-ager has made enough deposits in the ``trust bank,'' then he or she has earned the privilege of making a few withdrawals - that is, the teen has earned more responsibility and freedom.

Another way is what I call the ``enough rope to grow yourself'' approach. Teen-agers need room to grow, so that they and their parents can learn what they can handle.

Parents can follow this approach up by using what I call the six criteria for managing adolescents:

1) The parents are clearly in charge.

2) Teens, over time, learn and earn the ability to be more and more in charge of themselves.

3) There is a clear plan for continually building trust and responsibility.

4) The parents have a way to monitor the progress of teens.

5) There are clear consequences when a teen demonstrates that he or she cannot be in charge of him or herself (just like in the real world).

6) There is a plan for how to earn back trust and responsibility.

Using this method, parents don't let the teen move from little or no responsibility to complete freedom and responsibility.

Let's say, for example, the teen wants to go to the movies just with friends, with no adults, for the first time.

This can be structured so the teen leaves home right before the movie and come home right after, at least the first time.

If teens demonstrate they can handle that much trust and responsibility, then they get to go again, perhaps for a little longer next time.

But if they demonstrate they cannot handle this much freedom, then the parents pull back a bit. A teen would then have to earn back some trust by making a few more deposits in the trust bank.

By using these criteria for managing teen-agers, parents are able to make decisions based on trust and objectivity.

And that method's a whole lot better than going along with ``everyone else gets to do it. Why can't I?''

Visit parentingyourteenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on parentingyourteenager.com

limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

The Reachy 2 robot is designed to be friendly and approachable, inviting natural interaction and is perfect for research, education and experimenting with embodied AI.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares several easy ways to keep your credit cards safe from digital thieves while you're traveling this summer.

Arcturus sets up cameras around the edges of baseball stadiums to capture real-time action and generate a 3D digital clone of the game.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The CyberGuy explains why healthcare organizations are vulnerable to hackers after there have been a half dozen data breaches this year.

Developed at two California universities, the innovative technology combines brain-computer interfaces with advanced AI to decode neural activity into audible speech.

Microsoft patches 12 critical flaws, but six have already been exploited by criminals. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says updating your system is only a short-term fix.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how robots can milk, feed and clean cows on dairy farms, boosting efficiency and comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says quantum internet ensures unhackable security and redefines online privacy and speed.

Kawasaki's CORLEO is a hydrogen-powered, AI-driven rideable robot. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports on this new way of thinking about off-road transportation.

The CyberGuy breaks down five mobile privacy terms that could make a difference when it comes to keeping your personal information safe.

A groundbreaking robot that's like a real-life Wall-E uses advanced artificial intelligence to replicate natural gestures and deliberate actions with striking accuracy.

If not properly managed, Windows Defender Application Control, a security feature with Windows, could be a potential security vulnerability.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

FlashBot Arm, a semi-humanoid robot, acts more like a human than traditional robots, and you may see it working at a restaurant, healthcare center or hotel.

There are multiple ways to find your missing Android phone after it goes missing. One method involves using a smartwatch to ping your phone.

The NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System is a new device with FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.

The CyberGuy provides tips to protect yourself from criminals who use various methods to make unauthorized transactions using your account information.

New drone technology maps land and water with stunning accuracy, giving researchers and conservationists a new way to understand our planet.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

X hit with massive data breach with 200 million records leaked, including emails. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers seven tips to help protect yourself.

Atlas robot by Boston Dynamics amazes tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson with its breakdancing moves.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Google kept Android SafetyCore details quiet until it scanned users' photos.

Hydrogen trucks debut in Georgia, sparking debates on costs and green freight gains. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson comments on this promising chapter in green logistics evolution.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says ChatGPT learns from chats, but you should avoid sharing sensitive information to protect your privacy.