Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:

"How can all this teen violence be happening?"

My questions are:

"How could this not be happening"

and

"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"

Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:

1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence.

2) kids have more and more easy access to weapons that can maim and kill

3) more and more kids get no moral education, and walk around with an underdeveloped conscious at best, and at worst, no conscious at all.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a psychologist to get it that these three ingredients alone are a prescription for disaster.

Warning signs

No one really knows exactly why one kid will snap and another one won't. At the same time, here a few warning signs for parents and others to watch for:

a history and enjoyment of violent behavior

an inability to feel and/or show remorse

excessive fascination with violent video games and movies

easy access to weapons

little or no parental/adult supervision

little or no impulse control

recent rejections, disappointments or loss of hope

violent and/or suicidal thoughts, threats or other speech

the loss of someone close, either through death, a move, or a break up

a friend or someone they look up to taking a recent violent action

Again, it's important to remember that kid A could have most or all of these signs and become violent, while kid B could have the same signs and not go off. The most important question to answer, I believe, is what can we do to prevent this kind of stuff in our kids.

Here are a few suggestions:

Know your kid's world. I realize every parent thinks they know the world of their kid, but do you really? Do you know what kind of lyrics and music is going into their brains all day? Have you looked at the lyrics? Do you know what games they play, what movies they watch? Are you sure? The reason I am so adamant about this is I believe that if enough parents really knew what was going on out there, the stuff I hear every day, there would be some type of revolution.

In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, "teach your children well." Teach them:

when someone is beaten up or severely hurt, it takes a long time to heal, physically and emotionally

when someone is killed, they are gone, do not come back, and people grieve their loss

if you get hit like guys get hit on TV wrestling, you don't get up, you go to the hospital

how to problem solve without violence

what to do with the anger and rage we all experience.

And last but not least, run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of Stephen Glenn's book "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World." In it you will find the results of Glenn's research into the problems of youth, the Significant Seven Factors that separate high risk kids from low risk kids and how to encourage them in your family.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Creating an email alias can help clean up your inbox by organizing emails based on purpose, like creating different aliases for shopping, newsletters and work.

A multipurpose robotic system promises to transform how items are stacked onto pallets, aiming to maximize space utilization and reduce shipping costs.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The number of people affected by a UnitedHealth data breach in February 2024 was actually higher than previously reported and was the largest medical data breach in U.S. history.

A phishing campaign uses Google Calendar to schedule fake meeting invitations that appear legitimate, redirecting targets to phishing sites.

Toll road text scam: Fake messages claim unpaid fees, seek payment via fraudulent links. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says this scam is becoming increasingly sophisticated and widespread.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says these steps ensure that your friends and family get to the exact moment you want them to see. Try it out and streamline your sharing experience.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers tips on how to protect your identity: Be vigilant, monitor accounts, use smart security, know theft response.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says cybercriminals are exploiting iMessage phishing protection, tricking users to reactivate links.

It's hard to imagine life without in-flight Wi-Fi these days – but sky-high web surfing comes with its own set of privacy concerns. Here's how to protect yourself.

Over 400,000 cases of credit card fraud were reported in 2024 to the Federal Trade Commission. The CyberGuy explains how to protect against becoming another victim.

A nondescript metal box transforms into a fully functional electric motorcycle that blurs the line between vehicle and urban infrastructure.

Many apps unrelated to location still ask users for tracking permission, and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit seeking to end this alleged practice by Allstate.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Melody, the artificial intelligence-powered robot, is life-sized and represents a move toward creating robots that resemble people in appearance and interaction.

Here are five easy smartphone rules from the National Security Agency that you can follow to better protect your mobile device from hackers and scammers.

A U.S. robotics company has developed "Jennie," a robotic pet powered by artificial intelligence that's designed to comfort those facing mental health challenges.

Healthcare records for more than 184 million Americans were breached in 2024, but you can take steps to minimize that risk. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

The Skyrider X1 from Rictor claims to be the "first amphibious flying passenger motorcycle," and it combines land and air travel in one sleek design.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Home inventory and restoration apps help itemize and track every item in your home in the event you have to make an insurance claim after a natural disaster.

The White House launched a new cybersecurity safety label, the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark, intended to help consumers make informed decisions on smart device safety.

Today's tech can help make life so much easier — if you know how to use it. Here are a few tips on the quickest and best ways to make your phone, laptop and other devices work for you.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers Windows 11 restart fixes: Update drivers, run system scans and check hardware.

Sony and Honda's Afeela 1 EV launches with advanced tech and entertainment for $89,900. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives his takeaways.