Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:

"How can all this teen violence be happening?"

My questions are:

"How could this not be happening"

and

"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"

Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:

1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence.

2) kids have more and more easy access to weapons that can maim and kill

3) more and more kids get no moral education, and walk around with an underdeveloped conscious at best, and at worst, no conscious at all.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a psychologist to get it that these three ingredients alone are a prescription for disaster.

Warning signs

No one really knows exactly why one kid will snap and another one won't. At the same time, here a few warning signs for parents and others to watch for:

a history and enjoyment of violent behavior

an inability to feel and/or show remorse

excessive fascination with violent video games and movies

easy access to weapons

little or no parental/adult supervision

little or no impulse control

recent rejections, disappointments or loss of hope

violent and/or suicidal thoughts, threats or other speech

the loss of someone close, either through death, a move, or a break up

a friend or someone they look up to taking a recent violent action

Again, it's important to remember that kid A could have most or all of these signs and become violent, while kid B could have the same signs and not go off. The most important question to answer, I believe, is what can we do to prevent this kind of stuff in our kids.

Here are a few suggestions:

Know your kid's world. I realize every parent thinks they know the world of their kid, but do you really? Do you know what kind of lyrics and music is going into their brains all day? Have you looked at the lyrics? Do you know what games they play, what movies they watch? Are you sure? The reason I am so adamant about this is I believe that if enough parents really knew what was going on out there, the stuff I hear every day, there would be some type of revolution.

In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, "teach your children well." Teach them:

when someone is beaten up or severely hurt, it takes a long time to heal, physically and emotionally

when someone is killed, they are gone, do not come back, and people grieve their loss

if you get hit like guys get hit on TV wrestling, you don't get up, you go to the hospital

how to problem solve without violence

what to do with the anger and rage we all experience.

And last but not least, run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy of Stephen Glenn's book "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World." In it you will find the results of Glenn's research into the problems of youth, the Significant Seven Factors that separate high risk kids from low risk kids and how to encourage them in your family.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

tidy up service Glenview ..

In The News:

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Android users can now manage apps across multiple devices more easily with Google Play Store's updated remote uninstall button in the latest update.

NASA's Perseverance rover discovers shiny metallic rock on Mars that could be a meteorite from an ancient asteroid, containing high levels of iron and nickel.

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.