Parenting Your Teenager: Late vs. Too Late, and 5 More Sure Fire Tips

Late vs. Too Late

Every now and then, I'll hear a parent tell me something like this,

"I know we should do something about how we handle our son/daughter, but it's really too late since they are almost 18."

Sorry, but you are wrong.

While it certainly may be late in the game, it is never too late. I often find myself thinking I wish I could have worked with this teen/family/marriage sooner. It's always easier to work with a problem when it has first begun, because there is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice yet still small enough to solve easily.

One of the many reasons that it is never too late is that in many ways, adolescence now lasts until about 25 anyway.

Modeling Bad Choices

You really can't, with any fairness, get very mad at your teen for doing something you have modeled for them.

Now I am not talking about letting your kid off the hook for bad behavior just because you did it too when you were young.

Many parents tell me they are reluctant to talk with their kids about drugs because of fear that the kid will ask the parent if they did drugs as a teenager.

Parents must get over that fear.

Just because you did it does not mean it's a good choice, and you still have the responsibility to deal with the issue with your teens.

At the same time, if you are currently modeling bad choices for them, then that is a very different story.

You really can't expect your kid to not do things they see you doing. This is because if you are currently doing it, you lack the moral authority to encourage them not to do it.

Going back to the late vs. too late notion above, one of the very best examples for kids is to see their parent change something that, while difficult to change, still desperately needs changing.

Two Important Questions

Counselor, speaker and author Dan Allendar, in his new book, "How Children Raise Parents," says that all children, even teenagers, are constantly asking two important questions:

1) Am I loved?

2) Can I get my own way?

How we answer these over time as parents has a huge impact on how our kids turn out.

By the way, the right answers are:

"Yes, you are loved move than you could possibly know"

and

"No, you cannot get your own way, because of the answer to question No. 1."

Information is Available

Did you know that contrary to what our parents had available to them, there is a ton of useful information out there for parents of teens. Read Allendar's book mentioned above, go to a seminar, do a Google search under parents of teens.

You do not have to do this parenting teens thing on your own, nor do you have to make it up as you go along. Use the resources available to you.

Labor Intensive

There are a few so-called parenting experts out there who will tell you with a straight face that if you do it right, parenting teens is easy.

I think that is such a misleading and damaging big fat lie.

If you are going to do any parenting well, especially parenting teens, it has to be labor intensive.

Listen to the Music

Listen to the music your teen listens to.

Don't talk like them, act like them or dress like them. It's a guaranteed way to be laughed at and ignored. But do listen to the music.

Get familiar with the artists and the lyrics. You need to know what is being loudly pumped into your kid's brain, because it absolutely does influence them.

Remember how much it influenced you?

Visit parentingyourteenager to subscribe to leading Parent Coach Jeff Herring's free internet newsletter "Parenting Your Teenager" and the free 5 day e-program on the "5 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teenager."

efficient cleaning crew Highland Park ..
In The News:

Multi-factor authentication (MFA) adds an extra layer of protection to your accounts. Instead of relying only on a password, MFA requires you to verify your identity using two or more methods.
Scientists from Duke, Harvard, and the University of Otago have unveiled a game-changing tool called DunedinPACNI. It uses a single AI brain scan to reveal how fast a person is biologically aging.
A disturbing wave of fake agent phone scams is sweeping across the United States, catching people off guard and draining their savings.
Emojis aren't just playful add-ons; they're powerful tools for building stronger connections in our increasingly digital world.
Google has taken a major step toward the future of clean energy by partnering with Commonwealth Fusion Systems (CFS), an MIT spin-out working to build one of the world’s first commercial fusion reactors.
If you create and share art online, you might have seen messages warning that Facebook's parent company, Meta, claims the right to use or even sell anything you post, whether it's pictures, poems, or artwork.
Cybercriminals hit Qantas in a major data breach that exposed information from up to six million customers.
Having reliable, loud, and timely emergency alerts on your phone or device is important because when severe weather strikes, every second counts.
Here's how your daily brew is becoming the foundation for greener buildings.
Artificial intelligence (AI) and large language models (LLMs), such as ChatGPT, are transforming how we learn. But what does this mean for AI and learning retention?
Modern AI data centers use much more electricity than traditional cloud servers. In many cases, the existing power grid cannot keep up. One innovative solution is gaining traction: repurposed EV batteries for AI data centers.
Microsoft 365 and Outlook users are being targeted by a tactic that injects fake billing alerts directly into their calendars.
Researchers are now showing us that old smartphones as data centers could be the next big thing in sustainable tech.
Scientists have created micro-robots for sinus infection treatment that can enter the nasal cavity, eliminate bacteria directly at the source, and exit without harming surrounding tissue.
Let's examine how your data is collected in everyday life, who is buying and selling it, what happens to it afterward, and, most importantly, what you can do to protect yourself.
Researchers at the University of Sheffield in the U.K. developed small robots called "Pipebots" that can travel inside water pipes to find and potentially repair leaks, all without any excavation.
A groundbreaking new study has uncovered disturbing AI blackmail behavior that many people are unaware of yet.
Four teams of autonomous humanoid robots competed in China's first AI soccer tournament, demonstrating advanced capabilities in ball detection and independent decision-making.
The ID. Buzz autonomous van features self-driving technology with 13 cameras, nine LiDAR units and five radars after Volkswagen partnered with Hamburg and Uber for 2026 deployments.
Social Security phishing scams use urgency and impersonation to steal personal data. Learn how to spot fake SSA emails and implement 10 protective measures.
French startup Pazzi Robotics created an AI-powered pizza robot that made pies in under five minutes without human help, but it closed in 2022 despite patents and expert partnerships.
Reclaim your time from big tech with effective screen time reduction strategies for iPhone and Android, featuring steps to limit app usage and create phone-free zones.
Amazon Prime Day shoppers face threats from 120,000-plus scam websites as cybercriminals prepare phishing traps and malware ahead of the July sales event.
Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.
The AEON humanoid robot tackles labor challenges with Nvidia AI, Microsoft Azure cloud and advanced spatial awareness, working alongside industry leaders Schaeffler and Pilatus.

Why First Borns Fuss, Seconds Are Resilient and Last Borns Like To Laugh

How can two or three children in the same family... Read More

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More

Uniforms

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More

Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them

Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More

The Safest Stuffed Toys for the Kids on your Gift List

Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More

To Clean or Not To Clean

Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More

10 Reasons Why You Need to Ditch the Super Mom Syndrome

For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More

Spare the Child, Ditch the Rod

Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More

Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?

Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More

Choosing the Perfect Jogging Stroller

When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More

?I?M OVERWHELMED? -- 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of Their Lives

Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More

Imaginations Soar

Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

The Parent Teen Relationship: How Effective is Yours?

It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

Challenges for Our Children

Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More

Normal and Logical Consequences

Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More

Cloning; is it for you?

What would it be like to have a clone? What... Read More

Top Three Ways To Communicate With Your Child

Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More

Twin and Multiple Births are on the Rise

Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More

scheduled maid service Park Ridge ..