Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year and he's already lobbying us for a new car. He says all his friends are getting new cars, that he deserves one because it's his right when he turns 16, and he won't drive what he calls a POS car. Do you think he is trying to manipulate us, and what do you think we should do? And since he won't tell us what a POS car is, do you know?

A. What to do depends on what you want to accomplish.

If you want to teach your son that he can pester and manipulate you into giving him his way, then by all means get him a new car.

I know that's not what you want to teach him though.

What you have is an excellent opportunity to teach some important life lessons.

But first, let's get that POS question out of the way. POS stands for "piece of s---" and is just another one of your son's tools in his manipulation bag.

Rwo Important Life Privileges

There are at least two important principles to teach in this situation.

The first is the vast difference between rights and privileges.

Your son believes that getting a new car is his right as a 16-year-old. It's not. In fact, turning 16 does not even entitle you to a driver's license. It does make you eligible for the privilege of getting a driver's license.

Fostering the belief that privileges are in fact rights leads to a raging sense of entitlement.

Fostering a belief in privileges leads to a rare sense of ownership, appreciation and perhaps even stewardship, which is taking good care of what you have.

The second principle is the sometimes hazy difference between wants and needs.

A need is a "must have" for survival, or to accomplish something important. A want is something you would like to have but can live without.

Your son might need a car to get safely from place A to place B and you may also want to stop chauffeuring him. He may want a new car, but he does not need one. Even if you can afford to give him a new car, I think that would do him more harm than good.

Sit down with your son and tell him that you have discovered what a POS car is and assure him you have no intention of getting him one.

Similarly, you have no intention of getting him a new car either. Briefly - and I mean short and sweet briefly - explain the difference between rights and privileges and wants and needs.

Then tell him that you will be glad to help him find a Point A-to-Point B car.

If he wants anything better, tell him that for each dollar that he saves over the price of a basic Point A-to-Point B car, you will match it.

He will not walk away from this conversation jumping for joy.

He will walk away with the beginning of some very important life lessons, which is really the best 16th birthday present you could get him.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."

taxi to Midway Janesville .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Google, Instagram, Facebook and weather apps can track your location and use that data to serve you ads; here's what you can do to protect your privacy.

A new debate has emerged about whether airlines should charge passengers based on their weight to help reduce fuel consumption and lower emissions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Hipshipper, which is used by eBay, Shopify and Amazon sellers, exposed millions of shipping labels.

Boxabl’s Baby Box is a 120-square-foot foldable home that can be set up in 60 minutes and has off-grid features. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says it's designed to maximize functionality.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Major IoT data breach: Mars Hydro database with 2.7 billion records exposed. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the breach is a reminder of the risks that come with using IoT devices.

Unitree H1 robots dance at gala, blending AI and tradition. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson examines the convergence of cutting-edge technology and traditional culture.

For the first time ever, SpaceX launched a rocket into space from Florida and landed the booster the Bahamas, allowing for future polar-orbit spaceflight missions.

Attackers use caller ID spoofing and AI voices to steal money. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides seven ways to protect yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about the Genesis GV60 MIV, an electric rescue EV with snow tracks for extreme missions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you ensure a smooth online experience with a reliable, secure home network setup.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about Vollebak’s Shielding Suit, which blocks EM radiation, infrared and tracking for privacy.

Even Apple products are vulnerable to cybercriminals, and a new report suggests the owners of Mac products will have to be more vigilant this year.

An inflatable six-person tiny house from a firm called 2001 looks like a space station with its inflatable dome that is transportable and eco-friendly.

Scams cost Americans an estimated $159 billion every year and average about $3,500 in losses per victim. The CyberGuy has advice to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Zeekr and Waymo are joining forces for the world's first mass-produced autonomous vehicle, combining an electric vehicle with self-driving technology.

A humanoid robot training center has opened in Shanghai, a big step in China's efforts to become a global leader in robotics and artificial intelligence.

Security experts have discovered that hackers are targeting apps on the App Store to spread malware that steals information from saved screenshots.

A new luxury SUV combines military-inspired design and high-end luxury transportation and includes two military-grade gas masks to protect against chemical warfare.

80% of stalking victims are tracked using tech. GPS trackers, like AirTags, are among the most popular ways to do it. Here's how to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to protect yourself against artificial intelligence-fueled romance scams, which have become the most common type of fraud in 2025.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the steps to declutter text messages on a Mac or iPad. Apple offers ways to do this more efficiently.

Here's how to take control of the algorithms on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok if your social media feeds aren't showing you content you want to see.