Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: But everyone else gets to do it!

Parenting Your Teenager: But everyone else gets to do it!

Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids where they are becoming teen-agers and are asking for more and more privileges. When we believe we need to say ``no,'' our daughter says, ``But everyone else gets to do it. Why can't I?'' We get stuck. We don't want to be too strict or too lenient. How do we handle this stage?

A. That's a really good question, because many parents get baffled by the everyone-else-gets-to-do-it-why-can't-I maneuver.

My own parents' answer to my ``David gets to do it. Why can't I?'' was this: ``If David stood on his head in the middle of the street in his underwear at 3 in the morning, would you?'' I probably would have. And I never did figure out what that answer had to do with wanting to go to the movies.

Anyway, what my parents had stumbled onto with this saying of theirs was that they were simply not going to get hooked by the bait I was giving them.

Trying to argue against the everyone-else-gets-to-do-it maneuver is a no-win situation.

This is because many teen-agers are 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5, all at the same time. Parents are faced with an I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it 5-year-old with the brains of a young adult who can put together a fairly convincing argument.

Master Manipulators

This combination is part of what makes teen-agers what I call ``master manipulators.''

What happens is this:

Parents get hooked into the manipulation by believing that ``why can't I?'' is a legitimate question worthy of a legitimate answer.

But the reality is this:

There is no answer you could give that would make your teen-ager say, ``Hey, that's a really good reason! Thanks for sharing it with me. Now I no longer want to do what I was asking about.''

It just doesn't happen.

Another way to handle the everyone-else-gets-to line is to check it out.

Call up the parents of your teen-ager's friends and see if they really do get to do all these things. Chances are the real story will be different from the one you are hearing at home.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

best cleaning company Highland Park ..

In The News:

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.