Get into their world. The world that teens are growing up in is not the world in which we grew up. In case you ever doubt that, here is what author and speaker Josh McDowell has said on the subject: "The average teenage boy is exposed to more sexual stimulation on the way to school than his grandfather was on Saturday night when he was looking for it." The next four suggestions are more specific ways to get into their world:
Listen to their music. When I begin to work with a teenager in my counseling office, one of the first things I have them do is bring in a couple of their favorite CDs and we listen to them. Other people in my office building wonder what the heck is going on but that is OK because it keeps me in touch with what is being pumped into their heads all day long. As a parent of a teen, you especially need to know what is going into their heads.
Watch what they watch. Not only do you need to watch the TV programs and movies your teen is watching, you also need to watch the commercials and other advertising aimed at kids. What is the message behind the commercial? Most are something like this: "You are a loser without this product, and you will be cool and popular with this product." Our kids are being taught to be non-thinking consumers from day one. Why do you think they call it programming?
Walk the halls. Go to school one day. Take a walk through the halls between classes. I can just about guarantee you that you will be surprised by what you see if you have not yet taken this walk.
Screen time. Here is another example of how much has changed. When you and I were coming up, our parents had to practically drag us inside for dinner. Now parents almost have to force kids outside away from the screens. This is one of the biggest battles going on in many families today. It always amuses me when I talk with parents who complain about how much time their kid spends playing video games. I usually ask the parents if they have ever played the games with their kid. Parents usually look at me like I'm nuts. Not only do you need to know what is going into their heads, just like music and TV, you need to know just how addictive the experience can be. I have a secret suspicion that some parents don't want to play because they do not want to get beat.
Teen Room Makeover. It seems like just about every night on TV something is being "made over," from houses all the way to people! So I thought, why not have a Teen Room Makeover? Get together with your teen, clean everything out, do some painting, maybe some new furniture. You could find some magazines for ideas and examples. This accomplishes at least three things:
You get to clean up and rearrange what could be a disaster area.
If handled right, doing this with your teen can be a time of bonding and fun.
While you are cleaning and rearranging, you may find some things that you did not know about. If you do not find anything that is a problem, that's great. If you do find something that is a problem, now you know about it and can then do something about it.
Vitamin NO. Every now and then, I work with a teen who needs a good dose of vitamin NO. Many parents have not figured out how to administer this vitamin and are either uncomfortable or afraid to do it. Once given the suggestion and "permission," most parents can learn. You have to be prepared for the teen to not like it, and test you to see if you mean it. That is OK though, because a good healthy dose of vitamin NO can eventually cure a raging sense of entitlement.
Vitamin YES. At the same time, teens also need a healthy dose of vitamin YES. Once you have gotten clear on what to say no to, and strong enough to say it, then your yes can really mean something. I tell the teens with whom I work that parents do not stay up late at night trying to create new ways to say no and make your life miserable. Parents like to say yes - to good choices.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carHave you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
Parenting |