Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards

One of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.

In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.

For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don't work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.

For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.

This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.

Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, "We got a D in that class."

I've thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don't share. What I do say is, "Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?"

The point is that at some time - the earlier the better - school must become more important to your child than it is to you.

Having laid out these two basic principles, let's look at some solutions for handling a less than exciting report card.

1) You'll want to meet with the teacher of a class in which your child has done poorly. You should ask the teacher: What he thinks might be in the way of your child doing well in this subject; does she think your child has the tools to do well in this class; how are other kids of equal ability doing in this class; what does he recommend your child (notice, not we) do to improve in this class?

2) Learn how to read a report card. There is much more information there than just grades. There's also conduct and attendance to check out. Look for patterns. If your kid got a good grade and great conduct in one class and poor grades and bad conduct in another, take a look at what the differences are between those two classes. Obviously, the child has the ability in one class. What's in the way in the other?

3) Often kids will blame the teacher. "She doesn't like me!" This is an opportunity to teach real-world living in which not all people, bosses included, are going to like you. At the same time, you still need to know how to do well in a situation, even when there are people who don't like you.

4) Here's a little trick of the trade: Determine which class comes right before your child's lunch period. If grades, attendance and conduct are significantly different after lunch than before, the next question is what's happening at lunch that is getting in the way?

5) Make two copies of your child's report card _ one for you and one for your child. Draw a horizontal line to the right of each letter grade. Next to the end of that line, write the next letter grade up. For example, if the grade is an F, write a D. If it's a D, write a C, and so on. These one-step-up grades are the goals for the next grading period.

This may sound like settling for less, but it really is not. It gives your child a manageable goal to reach. Over a couple of grading periods, this strategy can move low grades to high grades. If they go higher than the goal, then that's a good thing. If they go lower than the goal, it's time for some consequences.

6) It's been my experience that grounding a kid for the entire grading period is in most cases counterproductive. For adults, nine weeks is not that long. For kids, however, it's forever, and you get rapidly diminishing returns.

Instead, start with strong consequences, and then as effort, behavior and grades improve, let the rope out a little at a time, just enough for them to grow themselves.

It's also useful to link grades to something that is important to them. As one father said to me last year, "In our family, Ds don't drive."

For more leading edge tips and tools for back to school success, you are invited to visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's backtoschoolsuccess.com

recurring cleaning service Mundelein ..
In The News:

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.
Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.
Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.
Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.
Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.
Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.
Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.
iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.
Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.
FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.
Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.
Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.
Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.
Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.
Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.
New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.
FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.
New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.
OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.
Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.
New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

Are You Reading to Your Kids?

Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men... Read More

How Do Campers Protect Their Children?

Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More

No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3

I had my first two children on either side of... Read More

Want To Further Your Childrens Studies?

Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More

Ten Tips to Stimulate Your Newborns Senses

A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More

Disciplining the Wild Child

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More

Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?

Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More

A Good Preschool Idea

The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More

Children Who Talk to Angels

What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger

Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More

Public Schools --- Why On Earth Do We Need Them?

From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More

Pipe Down!

Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More

So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty

So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More

A Child Can Make a Difference

Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More

The 5 Babysitter Commandments

Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More

Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools

LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More

Avoid Weight Problems In Children

Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room

Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More

The Old and the New

During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More

How To Potty Train In Two Days

Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer

Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More

tidy up service Buffalo Grove ..