MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.
REALITY: Teens do have to separate from their parents and families. That's good - otherwise kids would be living at home when they are 35.
They do, however, have to earn the privilege of being in charge.
MYTH: Once teens rebel, you have lost them forever.
REALITY: This is the fear of every parent, but it doesn't happen in most cases. As the proverb says, "Raise up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it."
Two very important factors are implied here:
1) At some point, it is likely they could "depart" from what you have taught, and
2) they will come back to it.
This notion is elaborated on in Miller Newton's book "Adolescence: Surviving the Perilous Journey." Miller calls this notion Withdrawal - Isolation - Re-emergence. His view is that all adolescents withdraw, and some will go so far as to isolate themselves. They will, however, re-emerge at some point. Part of the parents' job then is to maintain the connection so a relationship can exist when they re-emerge.
MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right.
REALITY: If you listen to some so-called parenting experts, raising kids - even teens - is a walk in the park.
According to them, the only reason you are having difficulty is because you are doing it wrong (not like them, in other words).
The reality is that parenting is a labor-intensive task. In order to raise kids and teach moral character, you have to go against the prevailing culture.
MYTH: Your teen years were just like those of your teen-ager.
REALITY: Many of the character issues they are dealing with are very much like the ones you faced. But the world, atmosphere and culture in which they are dealing with these issues is incredibly different. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's all the same.
Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit parentingyourteenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."
efficient cleaning crew Northbrook ..More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
Does the homework battle so typical with your hyperactive or... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
cleaning lady near Wilmette ..The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
Parenting |