Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.

I'd been interested in gliding, or soaring as it's known in the USA, for some time - and now the big day had arrived.

As I approached the airfield the words of some 'friends' came back to haunt me. 'Going up in a sailplane without an engine? You must be mad! How these things stay up there in empty space is beyond me!'

After a lesson or two on the principles of flight, it was time to take to the air. And I needn't have worried about 'empty space' . . .

If ever there was a case of things not being as they seemed, this was it.

Empty space? You must be joking!

Five minutes in a glider (or sailplane) teaches you that it's anything but 'empty space' up there.

I was amazed at the buffeting and whipping of the air currents and the sheer power of the thermals as they pushed the plane upward, like a giant hand from below.

The question soon changed from 'How are we going to stay up?' to 'How on earth are we going to get down?'

But it's all about manipulation of the control surfaces on the plane, and soon we glided to a smooth and safe landing.

Often in life, perhaps even more so in parenting, things are not as they seem.

Here's a common scenario. A parent has been reading up on positive thinking, self-development, parenting skills or such like.

They feel good and are dutifully putting everything into practice.

Then out of the blue - WHUMP! There's a major confrontation with one of our teens that leaves us drained, bedraggled and crawling off in search of a corner where we can lick our emotional wounds.

The steely glint of failure mocks our efforts.

But wait! All is not as it seems . . .

In recent years we've come to realise that every situation has potential for good AND bad. Some call it the Law Of Opposites.

Let's illustrate it with another example. Say you make a sacrifice and give money to the poor.

That's good. It helps them get on their feet, and generosity is good for your personal development.

So what could possibly be 'bad' in that situation?

It's POSSIBLE that giving so 'generously' could make you feel smug and 'superior'. It could lead to a 'Holier than thou!' attitude. And the receiver could eventually become dependent on hand-outs from others.

Not good!

So let's get back to that volcanic blow-up with our teens!

No possibility for good there? Think again.

Lick the wounds by all means, but rest assured that every situation has a lesson for us.

All we have to do is open ourselves to the possibility.

So when we retreat, let's ask ourselves some questions and be brutally honest in our appraisal:

* In that situation did I keep my cool?
* Was I positive in my attitude?
* What kind of language did I use?
* Did I come over as patronizing, sarcastic, impatient, intolerant, 'superior', huffy?
* Or was I supportive, patient, tolerant, mature, assertive, helpful, confident?
* Was my approach reasonable or in some way self-serving?

In short, was I modelling the type of behaviour I would want them to adopt?

If the answer is yes, then you can feel strong and confident, knowing that any sanctions you apply are just and reasonable.

If the answer is no, what can you learn from this?

Use this opportunity to strengthen and develop yourself, and prepare to handle it better next time.

In your path toward parenting progress, then, all may not be as it seems.

Apparent failures - especially when we thought we were making it! - can be opportunities to take our progress to the next level.

Remember the people who couldn't understand how a glider stayed in the air without an engine? Just because they couldn't SEE the ridges of air pressure or the thermals which push the plane upward, doesn't mean they weren't there.

In the same way, situations that may APPEAR to bring us down can in fact be the very 'thermals' (which are hot air!) to push us upward to the next level - if we let them.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages: http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

recurring maid service Wilmette ..

In The News:

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Android users can now manage apps across multiple devices more easily with Google Play Store's updated remote uninstall button in the latest update.

NASA's Perseverance rover discovers shiny metallic rock on Mars that could be a meteorite from an ancient asteroid, containing high levels of iron and nickel.

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.