Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting: Blending Familes - 9 Universal Laws

Parenting: Blending Familes - 9 Universal Laws

The law of -ing.

The law of -ing refers to a misnomer in the way we talk about this special kind of family. By calling them "blended families," we imply that blending two families is a one-time event, and all the work is done. Nothing could be further from the truth. "Blending families" is a much more accurate term because it implies that putting two families together is a lifelong process with lots of work to do.

The law of Brady.

Let's get this one out of the way. "The Brady Bunch" was a TV show, complete with scripts so everyone knew what was coming in advance, with as many takes as necessary to get it right. Blending a family is real-world stuff. And it's all live!

The law of pace.

Allow your new family to develop and set its own pace. Don't try to force relationships or closeness.

The law of instant love.

Related to the law of pace, the law of instant love states that you cannot realistically expect instant love to occur between siblings and children and adults. Love and relationships take time.

The law of magnification.

In many of the blending families that I have worked with, at first it feels like everyone is walking on eggshells. Walking on eggshells makes it feel like every little issue is a huge deal, on which rides the success or failure of the family.

Watching out for this law can help you keep things in perspective.

The law of loyalty.

I've yet to work with a family where this wasn't eventually a powerful issue. Just consider the situation above. We've got four kids, all in various stages of recovering from the trauma of divorce or perhaps death, coming together into a new family and developing new relationships and loyalties. Yet they still have loyalties to their previous families. This is hard enough for adults to figure out, much less children.

It's like what a 10-year-old boy in a family I once worked with said: "How can I love Daddy and Jim (stepfather) at the same time?"

The law of permission.

Here's one answer to the loyalty dilemma. As much as possible, even though it can be incredibly difficult, it's crucial that kids have permission from as many of the adults as possible to form new and loving ties with members of the new family.

The law of step, part 1.

A parent once told me he didn't like the word step because it implied less of a connection between the family members. As this father put it, "While I am not the biological father of two of our children, I am a father and dad to them. And they may be the biological children of my wife, but they are also my children."

The law of step, part 2.

As a mother of a blending family once told me, "Yeah, we're a stepfamily - we're going to be taking lots of steps together."

Visit parentingyourteenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on parentingyourteenager.com

detailed home cleaning Lake Forest ..

In The News:

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Waabi and Volvo target U.S. freight driver shortage with Level 4 self-driving technology and NVIDIA computing platform integration.

Survive flight disruptions with expert travel tips: Book early morning flights, download airline apps and know your refund rights during service cuts.

Apple's iOS 26.1 update delivers major security fixes, performance boosts and enhanced privacy controls for your iPhone. Discover why updating now protects your data.

Russian hackers use fake CAPTCHA tests to spread dangerous malware targeting governments and journalists. Learn how to protect yourself from these deceptive attacks.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Miami-Dade debuts America's first autonomous police SUV with AI cameras, drone deployment and real-time crime detection in groundbreaking law enforcement pilot.

Bank impostor scams cost Americans $2.9 billion as criminals use AI voices and caller ID spoofing to steal life savings. Learn nine essential fraud protection tips.

Foreign-owned apps secretly harvest personal data from seniors, making them prime targets for scams. Learn how to protect your privacy and stop data brokers today.