As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."
As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?
Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.
As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past. As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.
Parents, please relax a bit.
I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever. Please relax.
Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons. See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
personalized cleaning services Des Plaines ..Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
family-safe home cleaners Arlington Heights ..Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Parenting |