As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."
As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?
Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.
As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past. As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.
Parents, please relax a bit.
I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever. Please relax.
Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons. See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
maid service near Lake Forest ..Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
top rated cleaning service Des Plaines ..There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
Parenting |