One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture is the one that says, "Adolescence is a time of inevitable conflict." You will hear doctors say it, and teachers, and therapists, and pastors, and even parents. It seems that nearly everyone has bought into this myth.
The thinking goes like this:
1. Teenage "rebellion" is normal;
2. Because teenage "rebellion" is normal it is to be accepted, perhaps even encouraged by those who work regularly with teenagers;
3. Because teenage "rebellion" is normal, teenagers who do not rebel are "not normal," and will certainly have serious problems later in life;
4. Therefore, to be healthy, teenagers must rebel;
The Conclusion to this logic is that "Rebellion today equals healthy living tomorrow." Therefore, Rebellion is simply an investment in the future!
However, the Truth is that conflict and rebellion during the adolescent years is not inevitable. In fact, the adolescent years can be a time of great closeness between parents and teens. The fact that teenage rebellion is "common" does not make it "normal." By "common" we mean a behavior that is observed often; "Normal" means that a certain behavior is the way that God intended for the behavior to be from the beginning. Never confuse "normal" with "common."
Teenage rebellion is simply rebellion against authority, against their parents.
Rebellion is not simply a difference of opinion between parents and teens. Please do not interpret a difference of opinion as rebellion. And rebellion is not simply a teenager's attempt to "grow up" and become more "independent."
Instead, rebellion is the attempt to overthrow the legitimate family government that is in place. Rebellion in a family is similar in this respect to rebellion in a nation's government.
Rebellion by teenagers against their parents is the attempt to overthrow the parents as the authority in the home; the attempt by the teenager to make himself "King" in his own life; the rejection by the teenager of his parent's values and beliefs.
In every layer of human society God has instituted a system of "government" or a "chain of command structure." These systems are seen from national governments right down to marriages, families, and the church. Every social organization, or social system, has an organization that provides structure, teaches values to new members, provides for the enforcement of values among its members, and provides leadership.
The family is important to our society, as it provides the next generation with core values and beliefs, and with a model of appropriate behavior.
In America, the leading causes of teenage rebellion are:
5. Moral relativism in the culture;
4. Lack of parental supervision, or lack of parental influence;
3. Outside influences from the culture (especially the glorification of sex) delivered to teenagers through the entertainment media, such as popular music, movies, and TV;
2. Peer dependence, peer influence, and peer pressure;
1. Boyfriends/girlfriends.
Work with your teen, spend time with your teen, and talk with your teen. There is no substitute for your time and attention invested in his or her life.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareThey Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
Antigo wedding limo ..During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
Parenting |