How on earth can you help your family cope with the anxiety and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart of everyone?
In early 2005, for example, the world was rocked by the tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and left many homeless and orphaned.
Yet, at the Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I saw a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this natural disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play by Shakespeare.
Their smiling faces and youthful exuberance left no one in any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but had been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the full again.
It can be done.
But what of our own kids, who have not suffered the actual experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless fall prey to an insidious and potentially devastating trauma.
This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and many parents may be unaware that it's happening to their own kids under their very noses.
I say unacknowledged anxiety because often children themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And that's when real trouble starts!
Often our kids witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their response, the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school problems, relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.
So what can parents do to help?
First of all we must realise that kids take in more than we think they do.
For example, when the AIDS crisis was preoccupying every radio and TV station in the western world it never dawned on my wife and I that our young kids would even think about it. We thought they were too wrapped up in Star Wars or The Care Bears or whatever the current fads were.
We noticed that one of our sons was becoming untypically fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.
During a particularly bad episode one night, it all came out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and thought we were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.
We overcame this problem, and I've since learned that our son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when they don't fully understand something - and we parents go about our business in blissful ignorance!
So first of all, be aware that natural disasters, and even human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a deep impact on even very young children.
Bring the kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down the reality of these events, and allow the kids to express their feelings openly and frankly.
Having dealt with the horrors - and trust me, the kids will feel better after talking about them! - concentrate on other aspects of the subject.
First of all, make a frank assessment of the likelihood of it happening to them.
If there's been an earthquake somewhere, and you live in an area that's not likely to be affected by one, let them know. If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the procedures to be followed in the event.
But also look for the GOOD springing from disasters or accidents: people rally round; poor countries have their debts written off; measures are taken (such as building sea walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids themselves can help, like fund raising.
Most importantly, provide emotional support when fear strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in their lives - can work wonders.
To sum up: Be aware of the kids' reactions, talk out their fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and provide the emotional support your kids need.
Do this, and you can rest assured your kids will cope with the news of disasters and atrocities, which in modern life are all too inevitable.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
efficient cleaning crew Northbrook ..Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
cleaning lady near Wilmette ..To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Parenting |