How on earth can you help your family cope with the anxiety and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart of everyone?
In early 2005, for example, the world was rocked by the tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and left many homeless and orphaned.
Yet, at the Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I saw a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this natural disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play by Shakespeare.
Their smiling faces and youthful exuberance left no one in any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but had been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the full again.
It can be done.
But what of our own kids, who have not suffered the actual experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless fall prey to an insidious and potentially devastating trauma.
This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and many parents may be unaware that it's happening to their own kids under their very noses.
I say unacknowledged anxiety because often children themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And that's when real trouble starts!
Often our kids witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their response, the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school problems, relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.
So what can parents do to help?
First of all we must realise that kids take in more than we think they do.
For example, when the AIDS crisis was preoccupying every radio and TV station in the western world it never dawned on my wife and I that our young kids would even think about it. We thought they were too wrapped up in Star Wars or The Care Bears or whatever the current fads were.
We noticed that one of our sons was becoming untypically fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.
During a particularly bad episode one night, it all came out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and thought we were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.
We overcame this problem, and I've since learned that our son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when they don't fully understand something - and we parents go about our business in blissful ignorance!
So first of all, be aware that natural disasters, and even human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a deep impact on even very young children.
Bring the kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down the reality of these events, and allow the kids to express their feelings openly and frankly.
Having dealt with the horrors - and trust me, the kids will feel better after talking about them! - concentrate on other aspects of the subject.
First of all, make a frank assessment of the likelihood of it happening to them.
If there's been an earthquake somewhere, and you live in an area that's not likely to be affected by one, let them know. If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the procedures to be followed in the event.
But also look for the GOOD springing from disasters or accidents: people rally round; poor countries have their debts written off; measures are taken (such as building sea walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids themselves can help, like fund raising.
Most importantly, provide emotional support when fear strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in their lives - can work wonders.
To sum up: Be aware of the kids' reactions, talk out their fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and provide the emotional support your kids need.
Do this, and you can rest assured your kids will cope with the news of disasters and atrocities, which in modern life are all too inevitable.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
maid service near Lake Forest ..It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
top rated cleaning service Des Plaines ..Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
Parenting |