How on earth can you help your family cope with the anxiety and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart of everyone?
In early 2005, for example, the world was rocked by the tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and left many homeless and orphaned.
Yet, at the Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I saw a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this natural disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play by Shakespeare.
Their smiling faces and youthful exuberance left no one in any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but had been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the full again.
It can be done.
But what of our own kids, who have not suffered the actual experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless fall prey to an insidious and potentially devastating trauma.
This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and many parents may be unaware that it's happening to their own kids under their very noses.
I say unacknowledged anxiety because often children themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And that's when real trouble starts!
Often our kids witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their response, the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school problems, relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.
So what can parents do to help?
First of all we must realise that kids take in more than we think they do.
For example, when the AIDS crisis was preoccupying every radio and TV station in the western world it never dawned on my wife and I that our young kids would even think about it. We thought they were too wrapped up in Star Wars or The Care Bears or whatever the current fads were.
We noticed that one of our sons was becoming untypically fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.
During a particularly bad episode one night, it all came out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and thought we were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.
We overcame this problem, and I've since learned that our son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when they don't fully understand something - and we parents go about our business in blissful ignorance!
So first of all, be aware that natural disasters, and even human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a deep impact on even very young children.
Bring the kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down the reality of these events, and allow the kids to express their feelings openly and frankly.
Having dealt with the horrors - and trust me, the kids will feel better after talking about them! - concentrate on other aspects of the subject.
First of all, make a frank assessment of the likelihood of it happening to them.
If there's been an earthquake somewhere, and you live in an area that's not likely to be affected by one, let them know. If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the procedures to be followed in the event.
But also look for the GOOD springing from disasters or accidents: people rally round; poor countries have their debts written off; measures are taken (such as building sea walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids themselves can help, like fund raising.
Most importantly, provide emotional support when fear strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in their lives - can work wonders.
To sum up: Be aware of the kids' reactions, talk out their fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and provide the emotional support your kids need.
Do this, and you can rest assured your kids will cope with the news of disasters and atrocities, which in modern life are all too inevitable.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Parenting |