How on earth can you help your family cope with the anxiety and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart of everyone?
In early 2005, for example, the world was rocked by the tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and left many homeless and orphaned.
Yet, at the Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I saw a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this natural disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play by Shakespeare.
Their smiling faces and youthful exuberance left no one in any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but had been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the full again.
It can be done.
But what of our own kids, who have not suffered the actual experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless fall prey to an insidious and potentially devastating trauma.
This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and many parents may be unaware that it's happening to their own kids under their very noses.
I say unacknowledged anxiety because often children themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And that's when real trouble starts!
Often our kids witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their response, the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school problems, relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.
So what can parents do to help?
First of all we must realise that kids take in more than we think they do.
For example, when the AIDS crisis was preoccupying every radio and TV station in the western world it never dawned on my wife and I that our young kids would even think about it. We thought they were too wrapped up in Star Wars or The Care Bears or whatever the current fads were.
We noticed that one of our sons was becoming untypically fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.
During a particularly bad episode one night, it all came out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and thought we were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.
We overcame this problem, and I've since learned that our son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when they don't fully understand something - and we parents go about our business in blissful ignorance!
So first of all, be aware that natural disasters, and even human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a deep impact on even very young children.
Bring the kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down the reality of these events, and allow the kids to express their feelings openly and frankly.
Having dealt with the horrors - and trust me, the kids will feel better after talking about them! - concentrate on other aspects of the subject.
First of all, make a frank assessment of the likelihood of it happening to them.
If there's been an earthquake somewhere, and you live in an area that's not likely to be affected by one, let them know. If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the procedures to be followed in the event.
But also look for the GOOD springing from disasters or accidents: people rally round; poor countries have their debts written off; measures are taken (such as building sea walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids themselves can help, like fund raising.
Most importantly, provide emotional support when fear strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in their lives - can work wonders.
To sum up: Be aware of the kids' reactions, talk out their fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and provide the emotional support your kids need.
Do this, and you can rest assured your kids will cope with the news of disasters and atrocities, which in modern life are all too inevitable.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
tidy up service Glenview ..Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
full-service cleaning Mundelein ..Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More
Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Parenting |