There is a new stage of development for parents to consider.
The stages of development are roughly the following: children move from infancy, to early childhood and onwards to middle childhood. These stages take roughly the first ten or so years of life. Our children then move into a long stage known as adolescence (with a number three sub-stages) that is a transition phase into adulthood. That's it, right?
No, it seems that we have another phase that links adolescence with adulthood. The twenty-first birthday used to signify a move into adulthood and all its accompanying privileges and responsibilities. Now the years from 18 until 25 and beyond seem to have become a distinct stage of life, where young people seem to have lodged for a while, staving off the responsibilities of full adulthood. This phase has been dubbed the Twixter stage.
This group has been on the radar for some years but it seems only now that they are reaching significant status of a sub-culture. They have been variously dubbed 'permakids', 'boomerang kids' and 'adultescence'. Their babyboomer parents don't want to grow old ? they don't want to grow up.
Twixters have put many of the traditional markers of adulthood on hold ? home ownership, marriage and children, if they have them, have been delayed until well into their 30's. Entering the workforce later than previous generations and knowing they will live into their eighties this group has plenty of time to play.
This group can afford to take their time to grow up as they have the luxury of having relatively affluent, cashed-up parents who act as a safety net or a financial back-up in times of need. Oh, and a large number of them still live at home.
It is not as if living at home presents any significant hardship to Twixters. Both parents and twixters hold each other in high regard and maybe both groups gain significant benefits from living with each other longer, rather than having young people flee the nest at the first opportunity.
A recent US Gallup poll found that 90 per cent of young people report being very close to their parents, which contrasts with 40 per cent of babyboomers in 1974 who said that they would be better off without their parents. Twixters and their parents get on with each other.
If young people are delaying partnering and beginning their own families then they are seeking and support networks elsewhere. This is where friends and family of origin play an important role.
Twixters have a special gift for friendships and their culture revolves around strong friendship groups. The American sitcom Friends and its Australian counterpart The Secret Life of Us! showed how friends are a type of surrogate family for twentysomethings ? where you go to for emotional support and acceptance.
The point is Twixters will not go away. Biologically, it seems that the human brain is still developing well into the 20's so a young person's neurological development at 18 is still a many years from being complete.
There is little doubt that adulthood is delayed in a communal sense. One survey recently found that most people believe that the transition to adulthood should be completed by the age of 26, on average and the number is going up.
So, if your eldest is a toddler then you had better make sure you get on because he or she will be around for a couple of decades yet. It may be a scary thought! It certainly challenges us all to rethink the way we parent young people, rethink the notion of adolescence itself and its transitions and rethink how we organise our personal lives to accommodate the demands of these Peter Pans.
For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe
Michael Grose ? http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers
Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year
Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareYour child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
shuttle from Midway Munster are ..How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Parenting |