It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that first sip of a cold quality beer I knew it was sure to ease my thirst. However, I never expected that in that same frosted mug were also lessons on how to be a better Dad.
Often as fathers we find parental inspiration in the most unlikely of places. For me, further insight into my parenting skills came to me just last week while attending a seminar on beer & BBQ'ing. Perhaps it was the samples of fine micro-brews, or spending time in the company of other Dad's, but as our speaker discussed the secrets of brewing a premium beer, my mind began to draw comparisons to parenting.
I learned that when it comes to making beer, everyone starts out with roughly the same raw ingredients?barley, hops, yeast, and water. Why then is there such a difference between a bottle of "buck a beer" and a quality brew? The answer lies comes down to many factors, including time & quality, and process.
Great beer takes time. Commercial brew masters will tell you that while you can turn out a beer in just a few weeks, if you want to greatly increase the quality, you need more time--quality time.
The same is true when building relationships with our kids. While we can "get by" only fitting in an hour here and there with them during our week, the more time we are willing to spend with our kids--playing, reading, talking, listening, learning things together--will result in a much richer quality relationship. Great Dads know that each moment spent actively engaged with their children is an investment in future relationships.
There is no substitute for quality. In 1493 Duke George the Rich of Bayers-Landshut enacted an order which was extended to the whole of Bavaria in 1516. This is known as the Bavarian Purity Law. Like the brewer's oath, it states that nothing may be added to beer other than barley, hops and water. To this day, the rules of the Purity Law are followed by many breweries around the world, resulting in beer of exceptional quality. However, many commercial breweries detour from these standards, trading off quality for cost savings. One example involves substituting large quantities of expensive malted barley with inexpensive corn syrup. While the resulting product is still palatable to many, beer experts can tell you there is a noticeable difference in quality to a premium full-barley version.
As Dads it's easy to substitute quality time for just "time". The key is in giving your undivided attention. Whether it is exploring a frog pond, making pizza, or reading stories together before bed, your kids should know you are theirs and theirs alone. By being "present in the moment" during play or discussions, you show them how important they are to you. Avoid being an "unconscious parent"-doing one thing but thinking of another. Be there in body as well as in mind and spirit.
Process is important. You can give five different brewers the same ingredients, and the results could be staggeringly different. One might produce a quality ale, the other a light lager, still another something completely undrinkable.
In addition to what you might already be doing as a Dad, consider the following ...
Create family rituals. Family movie/games night? Weekend or holiday traditions? Consider starting a family scrapbook and/or photo album. Together you can decide which items (photos, souvenirs, etc.) should go in it, and the captions or comments to be written. Not only does this create a family keepsake, recording a portion of your family life and history, but it allows you to recall moments in your lives ? laughing, joking and reliving the good times all over again ? together. After all, the best souvenirs are the memories that we make.
Work to make ordinary things fun. Who says washing dishes, cleaning up, or walking to the store for milk has to be boring. By turning things into games, or using your imagination, the unexciting everyday jobs that make up a large part of our lives can be made interesting, or at least more bearable. Life is what we make of it-and much of that is dependent on the attitude from which we approach it.
Let your kids get to know the real you. Sure, they know "Dad", but what about the other parts of your personality? As is appropriate for their ages, begin sharing your thoughts and dreams with them. Let them know that you too get scared sometimes, or wonder what the future will hold. Tell them about when you were a boy, and some of the good and not-so-good times and experience you had growing up. Do they know your passions? If, for instance, you love the outdoors and art, then share these by going on hikes, canoeing, and exploring art galleries with your kids. Add new dimensions to familiar activities as you re-experience them through your children's eyes.
If all you ever drink is the same economy brand of beer, you may never know what you are missing when it comes to some of the finer beers out there. Without comparison, you are likely quite happy on a steady diet of a lesser quality product. Will it hurt you or affect your potential? Not likely. But as parents if we choose to consistently deliver a lower quality product will that affect our children's potential? Absolutely!
This weekend, why not treat yourself and your kids to something special. Make plans upgrade both your beer and your parenting. Try something new. One warning though ... once you've experienced the good stuff, you'll never be satisfied with low quality product again ... and the same goes for your beer. Cheers!
Award-winning educator, author & parent coach, Rob Stringer is currently working on his first book, Parenting with Intention, and has launched a free monthly newsletter by the same name. Visit http://www.parentingwithintention.ca to subscribe, access resources, or learn more about PWI's parent coaching services.
recurring cleaning service Mundelein ..Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
Many families do not want to believe their child is... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
tidy up service Buffalo Grove ..Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Does the homework battle so typical with your hyperactive or... Read More
? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More
Parenting |