It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that first sip of a cold quality beer I knew it was sure to ease my thirst. However, I never expected that in that same frosted mug were also lessons on how to be a better Dad.
Often as fathers we find parental inspiration in the most unlikely of places. For me, further insight into my parenting skills came to me just last week while attending a seminar on beer & BBQ'ing. Perhaps it was the samples of fine micro-brews, or spending time in the company of other Dad's, but as our speaker discussed the secrets of brewing a premium beer, my mind began to draw comparisons to parenting.
I learned that when it comes to making beer, everyone starts out with roughly the same raw ingredients?barley, hops, yeast, and water. Why then is there such a difference between a bottle of "buck a beer" and a quality brew? The answer lies comes down to many factors, including time & quality, and process.
Great beer takes time. Commercial brew masters will tell you that while you can turn out a beer in just a few weeks, if you want to greatly increase the quality, you need more time--quality time.
The same is true when building relationships with our kids. While we can "get by" only fitting in an hour here and there with them during our week, the more time we are willing to spend with our kids--playing, reading, talking, listening, learning things together--will result in a much richer quality relationship. Great Dads know that each moment spent actively engaged with their children is an investment in future relationships.
There is no substitute for quality. In 1493 Duke George the Rich of Bayers-Landshut enacted an order which was extended to the whole of Bavaria in 1516. This is known as the Bavarian Purity Law. Like the brewer's oath, it states that nothing may be added to beer other than barley, hops and water. To this day, the rules of the Purity Law are followed by many breweries around the world, resulting in beer of exceptional quality. However, many commercial breweries detour from these standards, trading off quality for cost savings. One example involves substituting large quantities of expensive malted barley with inexpensive corn syrup. While the resulting product is still palatable to many, beer experts can tell you there is a noticeable difference in quality to a premium full-barley version.
As Dads it's easy to substitute quality time for just "time". The key is in giving your undivided attention. Whether it is exploring a frog pond, making pizza, or reading stories together before bed, your kids should know you are theirs and theirs alone. By being "present in the moment" during play or discussions, you show them how important they are to you. Avoid being an "unconscious parent"-doing one thing but thinking of another. Be there in body as well as in mind and spirit.
Process is important. You can give five different brewers the same ingredients, and the results could be staggeringly different. One might produce a quality ale, the other a light lager, still another something completely undrinkable.
In addition to what you might already be doing as a Dad, consider the following ...
Create family rituals. Family movie/games night? Weekend or holiday traditions? Consider starting a family scrapbook and/or photo album. Together you can decide which items (photos, souvenirs, etc.) should go in it, and the captions or comments to be written. Not only does this create a family keepsake, recording a portion of your family life and history, but it allows you to recall moments in your lives ? laughing, joking and reliving the good times all over again ? together. After all, the best souvenirs are the memories that we make.
Work to make ordinary things fun. Who says washing dishes, cleaning up, or walking to the store for milk has to be boring. By turning things into games, or using your imagination, the unexciting everyday jobs that make up a large part of our lives can be made interesting, or at least more bearable. Life is what we make of it-and much of that is dependent on the attitude from which we approach it.
Let your kids get to know the real you. Sure, they know "Dad", but what about the other parts of your personality? As is appropriate for their ages, begin sharing your thoughts and dreams with them. Let them know that you too get scared sometimes, or wonder what the future will hold. Tell them about when you were a boy, and some of the good and not-so-good times and experience you had growing up. Do they know your passions? If, for instance, you love the outdoors and art, then share these by going on hikes, canoeing, and exploring art galleries with your kids. Add new dimensions to familiar activities as you re-experience them through your children's eyes.
If all you ever drink is the same economy brand of beer, you may never know what you are missing when it comes to some of the finer beers out there. Without comparison, you are likely quite happy on a steady diet of a lesser quality product. Will it hurt you or affect your potential? Not likely. But as parents if we choose to consistently deliver a lower quality product will that affect our children's potential? Absolutely!
This weekend, why not treat yourself and your kids to something special. Make plans upgrade both your beer and your parenting. Try something new. One warning though ... once you've experienced the good stuff, you'll never be satisfied with low quality product again ... and the same goes for your beer. Cheers!
Award-winning educator, author & parent coach, Rob Stringer is currently working on his first book, Parenting with Intention, and has launched a free monthly newsletter by the same name. Visit http://www.parentingwithintention.ca to subscribe, access resources, or learn more about PWI's parent coaching services.
same day cleaning service Des Plaines ..Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
home cleaning services Mundelein ..1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Parenting |