It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that first sip of a cold quality beer I knew it was sure to ease my thirst. However, I never expected that in that same frosted mug were also lessons on how to be a better Dad.
Often as fathers we find parental inspiration in the most unlikely of places. For me, further insight into my parenting skills came to me just last week while attending a seminar on beer & BBQ'ing. Perhaps it was the samples of fine micro-brews, or spending time in the company of other Dad's, but as our speaker discussed the secrets of brewing a premium beer, my mind began to draw comparisons to parenting.
I learned that when it comes to making beer, everyone starts out with roughly the same raw ingredients?barley, hops, yeast, and water. Why then is there such a difference between a bottle of "buck a beer" and a quality brew? The answer lies comes down to many factors, including time & quality, and process.
Great beer takes time. Commercial brew masters will tell you that while you can turn out a beer in just a few weeks, if you want to greatly increase the quality, you need more time--quality time.
The same is true when building relationships with our kids. While we can "get by" only fitting in an hour here and there with them during our week, the more time we are willing to spend with our kids--playing, reading, talking, listening, learning things together--will result in a much richer quality relationship. Great Dads know that each moment spent actively engaged with their children is an investment in future relationships.
There is no substitute for quality. In 1493 Duke George the Rich of Bayers-Landshut enacted an order which was extended to the whole of Bavaria in 1516. This is known as the Bavarian Purity Law. Like the brewer's oath, it states that nothing may be added to beer other than barley, hops and water. To this day, the rules of the Purity Law are followed by many breweries around the world, resulting in beer of exceptional quality. However, many commercial breweries detour from these standards, trading off quality for cost savings. One example involves substituting large quantities of expensive malted barley with inexpensive corn syrup. While the resulting product is still palatable to many, beer experts can tell you there is a noticeable difference in quality to a premium full-barley version.
As Dads it's easy to substitute quality time for just "time". The key is in giving your undivided attention. Whether it is exploring a frog pond, making pizza, or reading stories together before bed, your kids should know you are theirs and theirs alone. By being "present in the moment" during play or discussions, you show them how important they are to you. Avoid being an "unconscious parent"-doing one thing but thinking of another. Be there in body as well as in mind and spirit.
Process is important. You can give five different brewers the same ingredients, and the results could be staggeringly different. One might produce a quality ale, the other a light lager, still another something completely undrinkable.
In addition to what you might already be doing as a Dad, consider the following ...
Create family rituals. Family movie/games night? Weekend or holiday traditions? Consider starting a family scrapbook and/or photo album. Together you can decide which items (photos, souvenirs, etc.) should go in it, and the captions or comments to be written. Not only does this create a family keepsake, recording a portion of your family life and history, but it allows you to recall moments in your lives ? laughing, joking and reliving the good times all over again ? together. After all, the best souvenirs are the memories that we make.
Work to make ordinary things fun. Who says washing dishes, cleaning up, or walking to the store for milk has to be boring. By turning things into games, or using your imagination, the unexciting everyday jobs that make up a large part of our lives can be made interesting, or at least more bearable. Life is what we make of it-and much of that is dependent on the attitude from which we approach it.
Let your kids get to know the real you. Sure, they know "Dad", but what about the other parts of your personality? As is appropriate for their ages, begin sharing your thoughts and dreams with them. Let them know that you too get scared sometimes, or wonder what the future will hold. Tell them about when you were a boy, and some of the good and not-so-good times and experience you had growing up. Do they know your passions? If, for instance, you love the outdoors and art, then share these by going on hikes, canoeing, and exploring art galleries with your kids. Add new dimensions to familiar activities as you re-experience them through your children's eyes.
If all you ever drink is the same economy brand of beer, you may never know what you are missing when it comes to some of the finer beers out there. Without comparison, you are likely quite happy on a steady diet of a lesser quality product. Will it hurt you or affect your potential? Not likely. But as parents if we choose to consistently deliver a lower quality product will that affect our children's potential? Absolutely!
This weekend, why not treat yourself and your kids to something special. Make plans upgrade both your beer and your parenting. Try something new. One warning though ... once you've experienced the good stuff, you'll never be satisfied with low quality product again ... and the same goes for your beer. Cheers!
Award-winning educator, author & parent coach, Rob Stringer is currently working on his first book, Parenting with Intention, and has launched a free monthly newsletter by the same name. Visit http://www.parentingwithintention.ca to subscribe, access resources, or learn more about PWI's parent coaching services.
maid service near Lake Forest ..In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
top rated cleaning service Des Plaines ..Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
Parenting |