Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.

I was busy painting the backyard fence, when their ten-year old son came out with the vacuum cleaner. He opened the front panel, removed the bag, and put it in the bin. Then he took a replacement bag, fitted it, and went back indoors - probably to get on with the vacuum cleaning!

Fifteen minutes later he came out with a large plastic rubbish bag and put it in the bin too. The young kid was at ease with his chores. He was his usual pleasant self and there was no sign of moodiness or resentment.

Clearly his parents had taught their kids in a way which - I have to admit!- my wife and I didn't teach ours.

When our family was growing we tended to do most of the chores ourselves. We were keen - well, my wife was keen! - to ensure that we shared the chores as a couple.

This approach backfired as the kids were growing. Since there was no clearly defined 'chore chart' and since requests for their help were only made occasionally, there was a certain reluctance most of the time.

Even today there can be the odd dispute about who should walk the dog - and loading the dishwasher, it seems, is one of life's mysteries revealed only to parents.

So here's my advice:

Don't do what we did!

Be like our neighbours and start them young. Bring them up to realise that if you live in a home, you contribute to the home. If they grow into this routine, there's unlikely to be resentment or ill-feeling - provided the chores are allocated fairly, of course.

What about parents whose older kids have got off lightly?

Well, you could continue to slave after your charges - but why not start a new regime?

One approach often suggested is that you appeal to the teenager's sense of duty, highlighting their obligations to themselves and others.

But psychologists tell us that approach is the LEAST likely to work with teens.

It's a fact of human nature that people tend to respond more when there's a clear benefit for themselves.

So why not stress the benefits of getting involved in the household chores? Help them see it as an opportunity to develop confidence and independence. When they go off to college or move into a flat or apartment, how are they going to feel if they can't cope?

How are they going to look in front of friends if they can't cook, can't wash and iron their clothes, and can't tidy up after themselves? If they learn these skills, they won't be stranded!

If your kids are coming to household chores after years of having things done for them, you may need to use a reward system to help them over their inertia. No, not gold stars and trips to the zoo!

Rather, 'Mow the lawn and you can have the car on Friday night,' or, 'Let's see what you can do around the house and we'll review your allowance.'

And remember to show them HOW it's done. You may want to consider working with them the first few times, especially if it's a task they've never attempted before.

This approach has worked well for my wife and I, who are late-starters in the 'chores for kids' stakes.

Remember, if things are done out of a sense of 'duty', people tend to be ambivalent. On the one hand they may feel obliged to get on with it, but on the other they may resent it - and that builds up ill-feeling.

Use rewards by all means, but it's better, I think, to help our kids realise that doing the chores is part of their development. That way they're more likely to do them willingly.

This may be a tad idealistic, but this approach, when blended with an attractive reward, can lead to a well- deserved, easier life for hard-pressed parents.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

Airbnb cleaning service Glenview ..
In The News:

Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.
San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.
FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.
Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.
Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.
Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.
Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.
The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.
Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.
Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.
Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.
Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.
The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

Family Meals: When Dinner Schedules Dont Match

Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More

Pay Attention! Its Your Most Important Job

Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More

Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD

What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment as a Party Activity

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More

Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD

Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More

Childrens Books And Educational Toys - Can They Still Be Fun And Have Educational Value

It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More

Picky Eater Kid Nutritional Guidelines

Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More

So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty

So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More

What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All

Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More

End Babysitter Abuse

Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More

Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents

"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More

Television - The Great SATAN!

I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More

Why have children? DINCs, This is For You!

First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More

The Most Innovative New Approach for ADHD, a Natural Remedy

What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Diapers: Do You Choose Disposable Or Reusable?

Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers

Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny

There are many things to like about the television show... Read More

6 Great Freebie Resources for Parents of Twins & Multiple Births

A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More

Ritalin (Methylphenidate) in the Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More

Its a Sick World

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More

efficient cleaning crew Highland Park ..