Home
>
Parenting
>
Its OK to Say No

Its OK to Say No

In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to a new style of parenting that is much more democratic than most of us experienced, growing up. Families are more child- centered than they were before, we no longer advocate spanking as an effective form of discipline, we often allow children to negotiate for privileges or things, and we're much more involved in our children's lives than most of our parents were in our lives. Parenting is much, much less autocratic than it was in previous generations.

As with many other changes we make over time, sometimes we take a good thing too far and it no longer serves the purpose it was intended. Offering choices, using natural and logical consequences, and using a kinder tone in our voice are all excellent tools to achieve desirable results. However, often we forget that it's still OK to simply say "no" when a child asks for something we consider unreasonable. They might be asking for a toy that is not suitable for their age or is beyond your budget. They might already have more toys than they can possible use. They might be asking to go somewhere and you know you don't have the time or energy to take them there. They might be asking for a sleep-over or for a friend to come over to play and you're simply not in the mood. You have the right as a parent to say no and then leave it at that. We don't have to always give long explanations as to why they can't have something or go somewhere. We don't even have to raise our voice. A simple, "No, not today" is enough. If we let them, they'll try and manipulate us with cries, whines, temper tantrums and any number of other ways to get us to change our mind. If we ultimately do change our mind to please them, we've essentially taught them that they can control us to get what they want. How do you stop your child from manipulating you into changing your mind? First of all, believe in yourself. Know that you know what is best for both you and your child and it's not in anyone's best interest if you give in. Also, tell yourself that you're not going to get hooked and simply walk away or change the subject. Children are very skilled at making us feel guilty. Remember that children that have unclear boundaries are less secure than those that have clear boundaries.

Now that you know it's fine to say no, it doesn't mean that you can't change your mind. If you've said no to something and later change your mind after you've thought about it, it's OK to go back to your child and say: "You know, I've been thinking about what you were asking about and I've changed my mind." We don't want to be doing that all the time, but changing your mind doesn't make you an indecisive parent. Who doesn't change their mind now and again? Remember, we're human.

Barbara Desmarais
Parenting and Life Coach
http://www.theparentingcoach.com
http://www.theparentingcoach.com
604-524-1783

Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A virtual private network can help ensure your information remains security and your privacy remains intact. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Artificial intelligence-based cameras are giving air defense operators unprecedented capabilities in monitoring and protecting airspace.

Apple's iOS 18.1 Inactivity Reboot automatically reboots your iPhone if it hasn't been used or unlocked for more than three days, providing better data protection.

An inventor designed rooftop solar panels for a Tesla that draws solar energy while the car is parked, adding travel mileage without plugging in.

There are currently no laws governing what artificial intelligence can and cannot do with the information it gathers; here are 10 things to avoid telling AI chatbots to keep yourself safe.

A credit union with over 240,000 members recently revealed it was targeted by cybercriminals, resulting in a data breach that was part of a two-month attack by hackers.

Scammers have become skilled at creating convincing fake websites that can easily fool unsuspecting users. The CyberGuy offers tips to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

CAPTCHAs, which are used by websites to confirm whether users are people or bots, are harmless, but hackers are using them to infect PCs with malware.

Hackers recently leaked personal information of about 500,000 Americans and stole patient medical records that included lab results and insurance details.

The holiday season sees a rise in mobile shopping scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to stay safe.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a VPN enhances online banking security by encrypting data and protecting privacy.

Beware of these six sneaky holiday scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives you tips to avoid falling victim.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to securely back up and factory reset your Android to protect your privacy and data.

Artificial intelligence is making life easier for cybercriminals, allowing them to create elaborate scams to trick people. Kurt the Cyberguy explains how to protect yourself.

Cut through all the digital clutter and delete multiple emails from your Android simultaneously. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how it's done.

Tips to prevent your holiday decorations from being stolen

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson lays out the immediate steps you should take if your phone has been hacked and your personal information becomes vulnerable.

Fraudsters are sending people bogus invoices through PayPal as part of a sneaky scam that is going around; here's how to protect yourself from being fooled.

A former Colgate-Palmolive employee was shocked to discover $750,000 had been drained from her 401(k) account. "CyberGuy" offers tips on how to prevent identity theft.

Electric vehicle maker Harbinger recently showed its electric delivery truck can handle icy roads with agility and stability in winter.

To make the busiest time of year more manageable, here are some tricks for tracking your packages, taking quality family photos and curating the perfect Christmas playlist.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to keep your online Amazon gift purchases a secret from loved ones or friends this holiday season.