Home
>
Parenting
>
Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?

Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?

The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the shovel. My back ached, and I was chilled to the bone.

I'd had enough for one day.

I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival. "Hi guys!" I yelled. There was no answer. "Hi there!" I tried again. "You can't use that card!" I heard my daughter shriek.

Then the thoughts started to come. "I'm invisible to them!" I told myself. "All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I'm working my tail off again, and they're in here playing!" As I went downstairs, I took along some heavy baggage with me.

I took blame with me, and a sense of feeling justified in my blame. My wife and kids were to blame. In my victim-filled mind, they should have been there at the door to greet me with hugs and kisses. They should have been filled with adoration at the wonderful job I did on the driveway. And they should have taken me right to the couch, where a back massage and warm food would comfort me. (The fantasies of victims can be pretty wild!)

I can't say that I felt good blaming them, but I did feel justified. And for those of us who occasionally feel victimized by our families, feeling justified can be plenty. It allows us to feel "right," while they're "wrong," and it allows us to "prove" how worthy of blame they are.

Once again in my role as a father, I'd made the fundamental error. The error that prevents us from being who we were meant to be.

I'd gone into my head, and away from my heart.

I was expecting my family to "give" me love. You know, the love that I was "owed." Fortunately, love doesn't work that way. I'd forgotten that I wasn't a parent to "give" or "get" love. Our job as parents is to discover love as the fundamental fact of life. It is to bring this expression of our love into the world. It's more a matter of "being" love than giving it.

Parents across the world have reason to be grateful, for we've all embarked on the world's most complete and intensive course on love. While we may resist it at times, we're called virtually every day to express the deep reservoir of love within us. And sometimes, because we're busy blaming others, we miss the call completely.

Fathers go through periods when they feel "outside" of their family. They feel neglected, or they feel invisible. Or, they feel like they're just a "paycheck" to their families. But what's really happened is they've forgotten they're not on this planet to "get" love from their family members.

They're here to discover the boundless love that's always been in them.

I calmed down my thoughts and emerged from my "victim's dungeon." "Hey Dad, want to play some cards?" my son called. I dropped myself down onto the ground next to my family. "Sure, what's the game?"

My back was feeling better already.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at http://www.markbrandenburg.com..

limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Creating an email alias can help clean up your inbox by organizing emails based on purpose, like creating different aliases for shopping, newsletters and work.

A multipurpose robotic system promises to transform how items are stacked onto pallets, aiming to maximize space utilization and reduce shipping costs.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The number of people affected by a UnitedHealth data breach in February 2024 was actually higher than previously reported and was the largest medical data breach in U.S. history.

A phishing campaign uses Google Calendar to schedule fake meeting invitations that appear legitimate, redirecting targets to phishing sites.

Toll road text scam: Fake messages claim unpaid fees, seek payment via fraudulent links. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says this scam is becoming increasingly sophisticated and widespread.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says these steps ensure that your friends and family get to the exact moment you want them to see. Try it out and streamline your sharing experience.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers tips on how to protect your identity: Be vigilant, monitor accounts, use smart security, know theft response.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says cybercriminals are exploiting iMessage phishing protection, tricking users to reactivate links.

It's hard to imagine life without in-flight Wi-Fi these days – but sky-high web surfing comes with its own set of privacy concerns. Here's how to protect yourself.

Over 400,000 cases of credit card fraud were reported in 2024 to the Federal Trade Commission. The CyberGuy explains how to protect against becoming another victim.

A nondescript metal box transforms into a fully functional electric motorcycle that blurs the line between vehicle and urban infrastructure.

Many apps unrelated to location still ask users for tracking permission, and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit seeking to end this alleged practice by Allstate.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Melody, the artificial intelligence-powered robot, is life-sized and represents a move toward creating robots that resemble people in appearance and interaction.

Here are five easy smartphone rules from the National Security Agency that you can follow to better protect your mobile device from hackers and scammers.

A U.S. robotics company has developed "Jennie," a robotic pet powered by artificial intelligence that's designed to comfort those facing mental health challenges.

Healthcare records for more than 184 million Americans were breached in 2024, but you can take steps to minimize that risk. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

The Skyrider X1 from Rictor claims to be the "first amphibious flying passenger motorcycle," and it combines land and air travel in one sleek design.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Home inventory and restoration apps help itemize and track every item in your home in the event you have to make an insurance claim after a natural disaster.

The White House launched a new cybersecurity safety label, the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark, intended to help consumers make informed decisions on smart device safety.

Today's tech can help make life so much easier — if you know how to use it. Here are a few tips on the quickest and best ways to make your phone, laptop and other devices work for you.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers Windows 11 restart fixes: Update drivers, run system scans and check hardware.

Sony and Honda's Afeela 1 EV launches with advanced tech and entertainment for $89,900. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives his takeaways.

Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?

Parenting