When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the focus of my attention throughout the entire day and I live to make sure he is alright. I made sure his food contained just the right amount of nutrients, helped stimulated him with playtime, read to him, slept with him.
You see, offering cuddles and hugs is not the usual reward or privilege we got when me and my siblings were kids. Infact, it was quite unheard of. Sure, we had the usual dosages of "Good girl" and a hug but me and my parents never hugged as much as I hug with my kid. We can even go into a hug-athon when we want to. Hugging, kissing, hugging, kissing, hugging....etc.
Sleeping with my child came naturally to me and my husband. It felt so good to hold his hand or drape a careless arm over his tummy while we slumber. It's so comfortable and proves to be a suitable and close-to-perfect setting for us.
Sure, I was warned about not being able to make him sleep in his own bed later on and stuffs but my need to sleep with my child supercedes those warning. I didn't mind getting kicked in the face once too many times in the night. I didn't mind getting jumped on in the morning.
Now, the problem is not my son. It's me. My son can sleep perfectly fine without me. It's me who can't sleep without him beside me! I know, I am so terrible at this. I need to feel that he is near me in order to even have a short shut-eye.
Now who's dependent on whom?
I tried placing him on our bed, lulling him to sleep and then moving him onto the crib before I sleep. Didn't work cause NOW I CAN'T sleep. I'd make a very calculated guess that my husband feels the same way about the sleeping arrangement although I would say he feels a little less committed to the approach. He sure could sleep when he needed to. But of course, I have been the one who had to consistently put the child to bed and I have gotten accustomed to the feeling of that little body and those tiny fingers intertwined with mine.
A little basics here for sleeping with a baby nearby.
If you don't like it, stop it. Try getting your baby to sleep on his own as soon as you possibly can. If you're unlike me, it's best to make sure you can get as much rest as possible. Sleeping in another room or in another bed is as possible as sleeping WITH baby. Besides, there's been many reports about sleeping with baby in bed, which includes the possibility of snuffling baby or rolling over the slumbering tot while the adults are in deep sleep.
If you're sleeping with baby in the middle (that means between you and your partner), try moving baby to the other side of the bed. That means, to one side. The bed would have to be leaning against a wall or something concrete in order to prevent baby from falling off the bed. This sleeping arrangement could help you and your partner bond better, especially when you need an adult cuddle in the middle of the night, instead of a baby one.
If you like sleeping with your child, then you might have to endure some unwanted advice from others who have already helped their toddlers to sleep alone in their own beds. Every set of parents have different expectations and standards of raising their children and your friend/relative is not any different. Their advices are probably made in good will and they think what they're doing is the absolute right thing. Never squabble with your friends/relatives about issues like this one. The best way is to smile and react as little as possible by saying things like, "He's thriving and we love the arrangement now. Thanks anyway".
I have once heard this saying which goes like this, "Once you give birth to a child, you will henceforth spend the rest of your life seperating yourself from him". That is so so so so true. I couldn't agree more with that. You see, I can't sleep alone (without my child) because I don't want to seperate myself from him. He gives me security and I know he is safe sleeping with me. I am a breath away from saving him in "life threatening" situations. I want to know that he's so close I can breathe his scent. I can't seperate myself from him. I know I will have to someday.
The most important thing for me to do, is to slowly ease myself out of this habit and this need. For one, I am being selfish when I choose an arrangement which fits me best. I need to follow my child's lead if he appears to WANT or is READY to sleep on his own.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who is working out of her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She lives in PJ with her husband, Peter and 2 sons, Joshua and Jared. Marsha is the author of "Raising little magicians", "No Products to Sell" and other books. For more information on Marsha, visit http://www.marshamaung.com and to find out mroe about her books, visit http://www.marshamaung.com
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareYour child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Does the homework battle so typical with your hyperactive or... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
Parenting |