It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce parental conflict from bursting must be given a premium importance by parents who want to have a healthy, happy and successful divorced children.
First let us identify the source of most post-divorce parental conflict. It is only when we are able to identify exactly the source of most post-divorce parental conflict that we are able to stop.
It is said that building or maintaining regular communication with your 'ex' is one of the most important keys to successful divorce parenting. If there exist an ineffective communicating relationship between spouses, one may be left the other uninformed of the important matters relative to their children and thus often become the major source of new parental conflict.
Effective parenting after divorce requires effective communication. Even if spouses don't like each other, or disagree on many issues, they still have to work together as a team as far as their children are concerned. Both should know what's going on.
With stronger co-parenting communication, there will be less chance of misunderstandings and conflicts between the ex-spouses -- and a better chance of a healthy upbringing for the children.
Here are the five goals you can set to improve co-parenting communication:
1. Have a clear, consistent schedules and rules.
2. Keep each other abreast of any parenting-related developments or important issues.
3. Set an appointment to speak with your ex about any problems, then be polite but firm while trying to solve them.
4. Develop a trust level between each other.
5. Be civil and reasonable at all times.
To keep communication healthy, use these guidelines when you communicate in person with your 'ex'.
1. Be consistent. Make sure your facial expressions and body language are consistent with your words.
2. Relax. If your emotions become too overwhelming, learn to relax and breathe slowly or ask that the conversation be continued later. Leave if you have to.
3. Bring a friend. If in the past talking to your 'ex' has resulted in violence or verbal attack, take another person with you.
4. Back off. If your 'ex' is emotionally closed, back off. Keep on talking and explaining will get angry while your 'ex' gets irritated. Just wait for a better time or write a letter. Letters are a perfect option for communicating clearly and without emotions. They also allow the other person time to digest what you say.
5. Bounce it back. If your 'ex' attacks you verbally, reply, "I refuse to receive that. I need to be respected in this conversation and, if you're not able to do that right now, we should continue this later." Don't act snotty, superior, or self-righteous. Be kind. If your 'ex' continues to bait you into an argument, leave calmly and quietly.
Remember your children's welfare must always be your first priority. Think about the long-term effects on your children of everything you and your ex say and do. Follow the above goals and guidelines. Strive to improve your co-parenting communication then you can create the best possible co-parenting relation. Do all these for your children sake.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.
About The Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; http://www.101divorceparenting.com
after renovation cleaning Glenview ..My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More
People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
no-contract cleaning service Lincolnshire ..My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
Parenting |