Maintain Communication
Even though teens need to separate from their parents during adolescence, they also need to know that the safety net of home and family is always there for them. If the lines of communication are shut down, they are not yet capable of surviving emotionally; they need support and input. Let's take a look at a few guidelines for keeping the lines of communication open between parents and teenagers.
1. Pay attention to the small things along with the significant things. If you are generally a good listener, your teen will be more likely to talk to you.
2. When your teen talks to you, pay attention. Don't be doing something else.
3. If you can't pay attention right at the moment, explain why. Ask if you can talk about the issue later, at a specific time.
4. Ask questions for clarification, but watch out for coming across as critical. If your teen sees your questions as disapproval, stop asking them.
5. Expect your teen to change his mind frequently. Avoid commenting on the inconsistencies.
6. Express interest and encouragement in your teen's activities.
7. Accept your teen's opinions, even if you don't agree with them. Preventing High-Risk Behavior
All parents fear their teens becoming involved in high-risk behaviors such as drinking, smoking, and sexual activity. There are some very specific things you can do to minimize your teen's need to act out. Here are some tips for preventing high-risk behavior:
1. Be a part of your teen's life. If possible, be present when she is likely to be home.
2. Encourage your teen to talk to you openly at any time.
3. When your teen tells you things, watch your reaction. Avoid reactions that will cause him to think twice about being candid with you in the future.
4. Be specific about what kind of behavior you expect and what is unacceptable.
5. Keep harmful substances out of the house. This includes cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. When teens have access to these items, they are more likely to use them.
6. Expect good things from your teen. Teens who know their parents expect the best have greater emotional well-being.
7. Encourage your teen to become involved in school activities. Those who are involved at school engage in fewer high-risk behaviors.
Preventing Teen Substance Abuse
Now let's talk about some of the risks that teens face. First, let's look at drugs and alcohol. These are a few things you can do to help your teen stay away from drugs and alcohol.
1. State your expectations clearly.
2. Pay attention to where your teen is.
3. When your teen leaves home, ask her to tell you where she is going. Ask for specifics.
4. If your teen says he is going one place but actually goes somewhere else, consider restricting his freedom for awhile.
5. Remember that your teen is innocent until proven guilty. Stay open to the possibility that there is a reasonable explanation for any story you might hear.
6. Build relationships with other parents and agree on the rules. If none of the kids in the group have complete freedom, there will be less peer pressure and more safety.
Teen Depression
Teens are known for their mood swings. It is common for them to feel sad or gloomy. Many parents become concerned about a teen's moods.
Depression is different from the blues because it lasts longer and is more intense. Clinical depression is an illness that can lead to very serious problems, with lifelong implications. Some of the warning signs that your teen may have something more serious than the blues are:
1. She shows less interest in her appearance.
2. She seems to feel hopeless.
3. He seems to hate himself.
4. He seems indifferent about most things.
5. She seems numb.
6. She lacks energy.
7. He talks or thinks about death and dying.
8. He changes his sleeping or eating habits.
9. She loses interest in her friends or hobbies.
10. She stops caring about her pets or cherished possessions.
11. He has a sudden change in his grades at school.
12. He complains of extraordinary stress.
13. She withdraws from people.
If you think your teen's mood may be depression, here are some things you can do about it:
1. Talk to your teen about how he is feeling. Help him get it off his chest. Encourage him to think of solutions to what is bothering him.
2. Encourage your teen to participate in some kind of physical activity.
3. Check in with her more often than usual.
4. If these steps don't help and the problem seems serious, call a school counselor, teacher, or doctor. Ask for a referral to a qualified, licensed professional who specializes in working with adolescents who have emotional problems.
Eating Disorders
Eating disorders affect more girls than boys during adolescence. They are emotional disorders that require the intervention of a health professional before they become life-threatening. If you think your teen suffers from either anorexia or bulimia, do not hesitate to seek the advice of your physician. Early treatment greatly enhances the chances of recovery.
These are the warning signs for anorexia:
1. She has lost 25% of normal body weight without being on a diet.
2. She has a distorted body image.
3. She diets constantly even though she is thin.
4. She fears gaining weight.
5. Her menstrual periods have stopped (this is known as amenorrhea).
6. She is preoccupied with food, calories, and eating.
7. She exercises excessively.
8. She binges and purges.
The warning signs for bulimia include the following:
1. She eats uncontrollably (binges), often in secret.
2. She purges by vomiting, abusing laxatives or diuretics, or vigorously exercising. She may also compensate for eating with strict dieting or fasting.
3. She frequently visits the bathroom after eating a meal.
4. She is preoccupied with her body weight.
5. She experiences depression or mood swings.
6. She has irregular periods.
7. She has dental problems, swollen cheek glands, or is bloated.
If you think your teen suffers from either anorexia or bulimia, do not hesitate to seek the advice of your physician. Early treatment greatly enhances the chances of recovery.
How to Build Your Teen's Self-Esteem
Having strong self-esteem is critical, especially during the teen years. This is true for the following reasons:
? Self-esteem is a significant factor in how each of us manages our life.
? How we feel about ourselves guides the choices we make, how we feel, how we respond to events, and just about everything else we do.
? Strong self-esteem enables us to make constructive choices for ourselves and others.
? When our self-esteem is weak, we tend to make choices based on what others think and want, rather than on what is really best for us.
You can help your teen build and maintain his or her self-esteem in the following ways:
1. Listen to what your teen is saying to you, in words and actions.
2. Ask your teen's opinion about things and accept it.
3. Ask why he thinks the way he does.
4. Remind yourself that your teen needs to differentiate herself from you. That is her job as an adolescent, and it is healthy. Allow her to do it.
5. Let him know that you love him.
6. Let her know that you will always be there for her.
7. Give him permission to explore ideas.
8. Don't be threatened when she expresses herself.
9. Encourage him to express his feelings appropriately.
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareMy kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
Reading is the most important skill that a child must... Read More
Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More
Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Parenting |