Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the plaintive cry "nobody likes me" or "I don't have any friends." We wish there were something we could do to insure our child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground. Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others.
New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. Not only does fitting in and having friends feel good, it has numerous other advantages including better grades, healthier bodies, less stress, and more opportunities to learn social skills. Children who feel like they have friends tend to stay in school longer, make wiser decisions, and are generally happier.
Parents: Here are 7 secrets to assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging.
1. Look for opportunities to assist others. Studies show that helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute to being liked. Teach them to be aware of other people's needs and to offer people spontaneously, before they ask for it.
2. Find something that makes you feel special. Encourage your child to find an activity, hobby or interest that they really enjoy. They don't have to excel at it, just enjoy it. Do you enjoy drama, dance or railroads? Join a group of enthusiasts.
3. Say "hello" first, and smile. People who smile are perceived as nice and approachable. Friendly and optimistic people act as a magnet to others. Have you ever gotten mad at someone who smiled or said hi to you?
4. Don't stand out from the crowd. Whether we like it or not, kids are judged by the way they look. Try to help them fit in socially.
5. Don't take it personally. Help your child understand that another person may just be having a bad day and may not be mad or dislike him or her. Teach them that people are really less concerned about us than we would like to think.
6. Watch your body language. Verbal communication is the language of information. Body language is the language of relationships. Appear open, friendly and eager to join in and make friends. Stand up straight and look people in the eye. Respect other people's space by not standing too close.
7. Recognize the difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important and will last a lifetime. Popularity is fleeting and dependent on the group. You really only need one good friend.
? Judy H. Wright, www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
tidy up service Winnetka ..If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More
It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
1. Create... Read More
Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
kitchen deep cleaning Lake Forest ..Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
Parenting |