Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the plaintive cry "nobody likes me" or "I don't have any friends." We wish there were something we could do to insure our child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground. Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others.
New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. Not only does fitting in and having friends feel good, it has numerous other advantages including better grades, healthier bodies, less stress, and more opportunities to learn social skills. Children who feel like they have friends tend to stay in school longer, make wiser decisions, and are generally happier.
Parents: Here are 7 secrets to assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging.
1. Look for opportunities to assist others. Studies show that helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute to being liked. Teach them to be aware of other people's needs and to offer people spontaneously, before they ask for it.
2. Find something that makes you feel special. Encourage your child to find an activity, hobby or interest that they really enjoy. They don't have to excel at it, just enjoy it. Do you enjoy drama, dance or railroads? Join a group of enthusiasts.
3. Say "hello" first, and smile. People who smile are perceived as nice and approachable. Friendly and optimistic people act as a magnet to others. Have you ever gotten mad at someone who smiled or said hi to you?
4. Don't stand out from the crowd. Whether we like it or not, kids are judged by the way they look. Try to help them fit in socially.
5. Don't take it personally. Help your child understand that another person may just be having a bad day and may not be mad or dislike him or her. Teach them that people are really less concerned about us than we would like to think.
6. Watch your body language. Verbal communication is the language of information. Body language is the language of relationships. Appear open, friendly and eager to join in and make friends. Stand up straight and look people in the eye. Respect other people's space by not standing too close.
7. Recognize the difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important and will last a lifetime. Popularity is fleeting and dependent on the group. You really only need one good friend.
? Judy H. Wright, www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More
To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
A while ago I received this story from David in... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Parenting |