I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina in the southeastern region of the United States.
It is gorgeous here in April, with trees covered in white or pink blossoms, masses of yellow forsythia in bloom and flowers of many colors bursting forth in gardens and along the roadsides.
It takes my breath away.
As I allow myself to soak up the beauty all around me, I think about the experience of being a parent. I can't help it.
Here are some of the messages Spring is whispering to me this year:
1. Allow everything to happen in its own time.
I remember how, in January, we were longing for Spring to come. Looking at the bare trees, I could imagine the blossoms of April and silently urged Spring to hurry.
But the time was not right.
It's like raising children. There is an inner rhythm, a natural unfolding that cannot be hurried. We can't force the blossoming.
My grand-daughter just took her first steps. She is 13 months old.
For the last few months, she has been standing and walking around the furniture. The adults in her life have been encouraging her to take those un-supported steps.
She was not ready.
Some things cannot be hurried.
In fact, when we hurry our children, it often slows them down. They become anxious and unsure of themselves, and disconnect from their own inner wisdom.
Is there something that you want your child to do or to become that seems to be taking a long time?
Are you impatient?
This may be the time for you to allow the natural process to unfold in its own time.
Trust the knowing within your child. The same inner guidance that we all have within us is within our children as well.
Allow them to bloom in their own way, in their own time.
2. Appreciate each day for the gifts it brings.
The magnificent beauty of Spring is so fleeting.
Last week, I was enjoying the delicate pink flowers of our weeping cherry tree, branches bending gently toward the earth.
I wanted to stop time and hold on to the beauty of it all, but I knew I couldn't.
So I took the time to sit and watch the branches dancing gently in the wind. I soaked in as much of the beauty as I could and felt an overwhelming gratitude to be a part of that magic moment.
Now the blossoms have been replaced by tiny green leaves. The moment of magnificence has passed. Too quickly.
Today I have a choice. I can regret the loss of the blossoms. Or I can appreciate the beauty that is before me now. Flowers gave way to leaves, but the tree is still beautiful.
When my children were teenagers, our relationships went through phases.
Some times were magnificent, like a tree in full bloom. We just seemed to click, and my heart overflowed with love and gratitude.
Other days, we had difficult issues to work through, or they seemed withdrawn. I felt very disconnected from them.
It was easy to remember the way they were before, and that left me with a feeling of loss.
I had a choice. I could regret what I had in the moment - or I could find a way to shift my own emotional energy.
I did that by looking for things to appreciate. It worked every time. It took me from disappointment to gratitude.
In what ways do your children blossom?
Do you take the time to be with them and share those moments with them?
What happens when the moment has passed? Can you appreciate your children even on ordinary days, when nothing special is bursting forth - or even when they are out of sorts and taking it out on you?
Can you look past all of that?
Can you see the beauty that is before you today?
Look at your children. Look until you see something that you appreciate.
Take a few minutes to feel your gratitude for the gift that they bring to your life right now. No comparisons with other children. No longing for a different time when things seemed better between you.
Just appreciate the child who is before you today.
3. Plant the seeds and tend the garden:
All around us, tulips and daffodils are springing up in a bright profusion of color.
Some yards are like vibrant paintings. Other yards are like blank canvases. Nothing is blooming.
What does that tell me?
If we want our children to blossom, we need to learn the lessons of the garden.
Flowers do not appear magically. Someone planted the seeds or the bulbs, and the sun and rain work together to draw the plants out of their winter hibernation.
So it is with our children.
What words do you say to your children? How do act when you are with them? These are the seeds that you plant.
What is the emotional atmosphere like in your home? This is the soil in which the seeds will either grow or whither.
Is it warm and life-affirming?
Is it inviting and welcoming, so your children feel, not only safe, but encouraged to express themselves?
If so, then they will blossom before your eyes.
Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."
For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com/ to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.
Copyright ? 2005 by Patricia Downing
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.
Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareA parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Antigo wedding limo ..Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
Parenting |