Home
>
Parenting
>
How to Help Your Children to Blossom

How to Help Your Children to Blossom

I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina in the southeastern region of the United States.

It is gorgeous here in April, with trees covered in white or pink blossoms, masses of yellow forsythia in bloom and flowers of many colors bursting forth in gardens and along the roadsides.

It takes my breath away.

As I allow myself to soak up the beauty all around me, I think about the experience of being a parent. I can't help it.

Here are some of the messages Spring is whispering to me this year:

1. Allow everything to happen in its own time.

I remember how, in January, we were longing for Spring to come. Looking at the bare trees, I could imagine the blossoms of April and silently urged Spring to hurry.

But the time was not right.

It's like raising children. There is an inner rhythm, a natural unfolding that cannot be hurried. We can't force the blossoming.

My grand-daughter just took her first steps. She is 13 months old.

For the last few months, she has been standing and walking around the furniture. The adults in her life have been encouraging her to take those un-supported steps.

She was not ready.

Some things cannot be hurried.

In fact, when we hurry our children, it often slows them down. They become anxious and unsure of themselves, and disconnect from their own inner wisdom.

Is there something that you want your child to do or to become that seems to be taking a long time?

Are you impatient?

This may be the time for you to allow the natural process to unfold in its own time.

Trust the knowing within your child. The same inner guidance that we all have within us is within our children as well.

Allow them to bloom in their own way, in their own time.

2. Appreciate each day for the gifts it brings.

The magnificent beauty of Spring is so fleeting.

Last week, I was enjoying the delicate pink flowers of our weeping cherry tree, branches bending gently toward the earth.

I wanted to stop time and hold on to the beauty of it all, but I knew I couldn't.

So I took the time to sit and watch the branches dancing gently in the wind. I soaked in as much of the beauty as I could and felt an overwhelming gratitude to be a part of that magic moment.

Now the blossoms have been replaced by tiny green leaves. The moment of magnificence has passed. Too quickly.

Today I have a choice. I can regret the loss of the blossoms. Or I can appreciate the beauty that is before me now. Flowers gave way to leaves, but the tree is still beautiful.

When my children were teenagers, our relationships went through phases.

Some times were magnificent, like a tree in full bloom. We just seemed to click, and my heart overflowed with love and gratitude.

Other days, we had difficult issues to work through, or they seemed withdrawn. I felt very disconnected from them.

It was easy to remember the way they were before, and that left me with a feeling of loss.

I had a choice. I could regret what I had in the moment - or I could find a way to shift my own emotional energy.

I did that by looking for things to appreciate. It worked every time. It took me from disappointment to gratitude.

In what ways do your children blossom?

Do you take the time to be with them and share those moments with them?

What happens when the moment has passed? Can you appreciate your children even on ordinary days, when nothing special is bursting forth - or even when they are out of sorts and taking it out on you?

Can you look past all of that?

Can you see the beauty that is before you today?

Look at your children. Look until you see something that you appreciate.

Take a few minutes to feel your gratitude for the gift that they bring to your life right now. No comparisons with other children. No longing for a different time when things seemed better between you.

Just appreciate the child who is before you today.

3. Plant the seeds and tend the garden:

All around us, tulips and daffodils are springing up in a bright profusion of color.

Some yards are like vibrant paintings. Other yards are like blank canvases. Nothing is blooming.

What does that tell me?

If we want our children to blossom, we need to learn the lessons of the garden.

Flowers do not appear magically. Someone planted the seeds or the bulbs, and the sun and rain work together to draw the plants out of their winter hibernation.

So it is with our children.

What words do you say to your children? How do act when you are with them? These are the seeds that you plant.

What is the emotional atmosphere like in your home? This is the soil in which the seeds will either grow or whither.

Is it warm and life-affirming?

Is it inviting and welcoming, so your children feel, not only safe, but encouraged to express themselves?

If so, then they will blossom before your eyes.

Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."

For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com/ to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

recurring cleaning service Wilmette ..

In The News:

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Android users can now manage apps across multiple devices more easily with Google Play Store's updated remote uninstall button in the latest update.

NASA's Perseverance rover discovers shiny metallic rock on Mars that could be a meteorite from an ancient asteroid, containing high levels of iron and nickel.

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.