Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?
It can get very frustrating for a mother who is yelled at every time she says 'no' to a child. In my clinic, I've seen parents who feel desperate when their son or daughter who used to behave like a "saint" is now rebellious, oppositional, and involved in drugs.
As a parent, what are your options?
Establish a Hierarchy of Consequences for Inappropriate Behaviour
Different behaviours require varying degrees of discipline. There is no single method effective for all individuals and all types of unacceptable behaviour.
One effective way of instilling order is by creating a graduated form of discipline - from a simple and effortless method to a more serious way of dealing with the behaviour.
Ignoring the Behaviour
Certain behaviour becomes worse if you pay attention to the child. Temper tantrum is one example. An effective way to deal with some behaviour like temper tantrum is to ignore it. By doing this, you don't reward it with too much attention.
Granny Gestures
This is the second line of offence against inappropriate behaviour. This type of discipline can deal with the first infractions regardless of whether they are major or minor. Granny gestures involve hand movements such as waving the right pointing finger back and forth after an incident. Immediately after an inappropriate behaviour such as not cleaning up or not making the bed, wave your pointing finger.
Counting One to Five
Counting one to five is the next level if your child remains defiant or unresponsive to your granny gestures. This process requires a reminder that the unacceptable behaviour still exists and if it continues after you count to five, then a more serious form of consequence will be enforced. Also, counting provides children the time to think and to realize their mistake.
Time-out
Time-out is a more serious form of discipline. If the inappropriate behaviour persists, you tell your child to go to one corner of your house. The corner should be well lit, safe, and not isolated. It should be a place where you can still see what your child is doing.
What should be the appropriate duration for time-out? In my opinion, the duration should depend upon the nature of the infraction, the frequency of such infraction, and the age of your child.
Taking Away Privileges
Taking away privileges requires that you first identify your child's likes and interests at home and that you take one or more of them away for a certain period of time as a consequence of inappropriate behaviour.
Take away the toy or activity that interests your child. Taking away privileges should be time-limited, realistic, and feasible.
Copyright ? 2005. Dr. Michael G. Rayel ? author (First Aid to Mental Illness?Finalist, Reader's Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An Emotional Intelligence or EQ Game. For more information, visit http://www.oikosgame.com and http://www.oikosgame.com
car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Granger limo Chicago ..I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Parenting |