Home
>
Parenting
>
How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

'Whose room is it anyway?'

If you have a teenager, you're no doubt familiar with the warcry of independence:

'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as I please.'

You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, you can't see beyond

the unmade bed

the piles of discarded clothing

the litter of books

magazines

scattered CD covers

pizza boxes

and soft drinks cans.

Your spirits plummet as you prepare to join battle yet again.

But let's stop for a moment and take stock. Do we really need to create a fuss?

We all know adolescence is a time of change. The desire for independence is strong - yet the adolescent is still very dependent, especially where finance is concerned.

There's a subconscious need for rebellion during this phase: our children feel a need to kick against the goad; to throw off the shackles of childhood; to explore and develop this strange, often threatening personality.

That's why at around the age of thirteen our kids 'disappear' from the family circle and spend much of their time in their rooms.

It's like taking to the hills, a way of retreating from the old folks and their 'naff' conversations, values and ideals.

The Untidy Room Syndrome states loudly and clearly, 'I want to do things MY WAY, not yours!'

So the music blares, the scraps of food fester - as would the unwashed clothes, if you let them!

Only a privileged few receive an invite to the inner sanctum. The rest make do with: 'Get out of my room!'

MY room?

We parents provide every home comfort. We pay the mortgage. We pay the bills. We do the laundering. Yet we're told, 'Get out of MY room'!

Let's laugh it off! (While insisting on common courtesy, of course).

Growing kids need their space, a safe haven where they can 'chill out'.

So what about the mess?

What stance should we take on that?

Well, let's remember the mess is part of the rebellion. We keep the rest of the home tidy, don't we?

Then turn a blind eye (with one exception, which we'll come to in a moment).

Yes, turn a blind eye! If they want to scatter their CDs and magazines and clothes in glorious chaos, let them.

They're in a controlled, safe environment, after all - the family home. They're not trashing the town, like so many others.

No, let them get the rebellion out of their systems. Good news: it will only last a few years.

And hard experience will teach them the lessons they need to learn. 'Oops! My CD's don't play so well when they're scratched and dusty.'

'I'm fed up looking for things and not finding them. There has to be a better way!'

Let's encourage our kids to keep a tidy room - but leave the details to them.

So what about that exception?

Lay down the law - with a sledge hammer if necessary! - when it comes to matters of health and hygiene.

If you do the laundering and your kids expect clean clothes, then insist they pick up the items to be washed and put them in the laundry basket.

If they leave scraps of food and half-drunk cups of coffee, insist they clear them away. Explain why you're taking this line. There's no convincing objection they can raise!

Insist they make a clearance for whoever does the vacuuming and dusting.

Apart from that, take a step back. If they can happily live in the chaos, you can happily leave them to it.

Relax. Bide your time. The fires of rebellious youth will splutter and fizzle, and it will all come right in the end.

Happy Parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A virtual private network can help ensure your information remains security and your privacy remains intact. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Artificial intelligence-based cameras are giving air defense operators unprecedented capabilities in monitoring and protecting airspace.

Apple's iOS 18.1 Inactivity Reboot automatically reboots your iPhone if it hasn't been used or unlocked for more than three days, providing better data protection.

An inventor designed rooftop solar panels for a Tesla that draws solar energy while the car is parked, adding travel mileage without plugging in.

There are currently no laws governing what artificial intelligence can and cannot do with the information it gathers; here are 10 things to avoid telling AI chatbots to keep yourself safe.

A credit union with over 240,000 members recently revealed it was targeted by cybercriminals, resulting in a data breach that was part of a two-month attack by hackers.

Scammers have become skilled at creating convincing fake websites that can easily fool unsuspecting users. The CyberGuy offers tips to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

CAPTCHAs, which are used by websites to confirm whether users are people or bots, are harmless, but hackers are using them to infect PCs with malware.

Hackers recently leaked personal information of about 500,000 Americans and stole patient medical records that included lab results and insurance details.

The holiday season sees a rise in mobile shopping scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to stay safe.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a VPN enhances online banking security by encrypting data and protecting privacy.

Beware of these six sneaky holiday scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives you tips to avoid falling victim.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to securely back up and factory reset your Android to protect your privacy and data.

Artificial intelligence is making life easier for cybercriminals, allowing them to create elaborate scams to trick people. Kurt the Cyberguy explains how to protect yourself.

Cut through all the digital clutter and delete multiple emails from your Android simultaneously. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how it's done.

Tips to prevent your holiday decorations from being stolen

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson lays out the immediate steps you should take if your phone has been hacked and your personal information becomes vulnerable.

Fraudsters are sending people bogus invoices through PayPal as part of a sneaky scam that is going around; here's how to protect yourself from being fooled.

A former Colgate-Palmolive employee was shocked to discover $750,000 had been drained from her 401(k) account. "CyberGuy" offers tips on how to prevent identity theft.

Electric vehicle maker Harbinger recently showed its electric delivery truck can handle icy roads with agility and stability in winter.

To make the busiest time of year more manageable, here are some tricks for tracking your packages, taking quality family photos and curating the perfect Christmas playlist.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to keep your online Amazon gift purchases a secret from loved ones or friends this holiday season.