Home
>
Parenting
>
How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

'Whose room is it anyway?'

If you have a teenager, you're no doubt familiar with the warcry of independence:

'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as I please.'

You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, you can't see beyond

the unmade bed

the piles of discarded clothing

the litter of books

magazines

scattered CD covers

pizza boxes

and soft drinks cans.

Your spirits plummet as you prepare to join battle yet again.

But let's stop for a moment and take stock. Do we really need to create a fuss?

We all know adolescence is a time of change. The desire for independence is strong - yet the adolescent is still very dependent, especially where finance is concerned.

There's a subconscious need for rebellion during this phase: our children feel a need to kick against the goad; to throw off the shackles of childhood; to explore and develop this strange, often threatening personality.

That's why at around the age of thirteen our kids 'disappear' from the family circle and spend much of their time in their rooms.

It's like taking to the hills, a way of retreating from the old folks and their 'naff' conversations, values and ideals.

The Untidy Room Syndrome states loudly and clearly, 'I want to do things MY WAY, not yours!'

So the music blares, the scraps of food fester - as would the unwashed clothes, if you let them!

Only a privileged few receive an invite to the inner sanctum. The rest make do with: 'Get out of my room!'

MY room?

We parents provide every home comfort. We pay the mortgage. We pay the bills. We do the laundering. Yet we're told, 'Get out of MY room'!

Let's laugh it off! (While insisting on common courtesy, of course).

Growing kids need their space, a safe haven where they can 'chill out'.

So what about the mess?

What stance should we take on that?

Well, let's remember the mess is part of the rebellion. We keep the rest of the home tidy, don't we?

Then turn a blind eye (with one exception, which we'll come to in a moment).

Yes, turn a blind eye! If they want to scatter their CDs and magazines and clothes in glorious chaos, let them.

They're in a controlled, safe environment, after all - the family home. They're not trashing the town, like so many others.

No, let them get the rebellion out of their systems. Good news: it will only last a few years.

And hard experience will teach them the lessons they need to learn. 'Oops! My CD's don't play so well when they're scratched and dusty.'

'I'm fed up looking for things and not finding them. There has to be a better way!'

Let's encourage our kids to keep a tidy room - but leave the details to them.

So what about that exception?

Lay down the law - with a sledge hammer if necessary! - when it comes to matters of health and hygiene.

If you do the laundering and your kids expect clean clothes, then insist they pick up the items to be washed and put them in the laundry basket.

If they leave scraps of food and half-drunk cups of coffee, insist they clear them away. Explain why you're taking this line. There's no convincing objection they can raise!

Insist they make a clearance for whoever does the vacuuming and dusting.

Apart from that, take a step back. If they can happily live in the chaos, you can happily leave them to it.

Relax. Bide your time. The fires of rebellious youth will splutter and fizzle, and it will all come right in the end.

Happy Parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

One report claims at least 25 million people were targeted by infostealer malware between the beginning of 2023 and the end of 2024, capturing bank card details and passwords.

The LaserWeeder G2 uses lasers, artificial intelligence and advanced robotics to offer an alternative to chemicals traditionally used in farming.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a malware app called SpyLend is posing as a financial tool, hitting 100,000-plus downloads.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Clone Robotics’ Protoclone mimics humans with 1,000 muscles – too human for comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson urges you to use Apple’s App Privacy Report to see what your apps are really up to.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how to smoothly transfer your data from an old laptop to a new one using cloud storage or external drives.

Kurt the CyberGuy offers tips to safeguard your personal information as scammers become more sophisticated with scam texts and other methods.

WeRide's unmanned electric delivery van, the Robovan W5, has 194 cubic feet of cargo space and can carry payloads up to about 2,205 pounds

Kurt the CyberGuy recommends deleting 16 browser extensions immediately in response to a report saying more than 3.2 million web users were affected by a security breach.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A robotics firm in China claims a robot has performed the world's first humanoid robot front flip, which is significantly more difficult than a backflip.

A digital ID may be even more secure than a physical ID. Storing your driver's license in your Apple Wallet is an ideal solution for commuters.

A cybersecurity firm has shed some light on just how common tax scams have become. Kurt the CyberGuy offers his advice for how to protect your refund.

Lifesize Plans offers immersive walk-throughs that allow customers the opportunity to tour a home's design before construction actually begins.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A man invested $4 million in bitcoin and lost it all with a single click when he was targeted by a vishing scam, which uses phone calls to trick people.

Expandable's Touchdown is a designer trailer that promises a luxury off-grid living experience and unfolds into a home in about 15 minutes.

Major employee screening company data breach affects 3.3 million people. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what happened and gives five ways to protect your data.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals mind-blowing tech that gives you sunlight on demand.

New malware "FrigidStealer" targets Mac computers. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from infostealer malware.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how lab-grown muscles power a biohybrid hand for scalable prosthetics and research.

Reports of task scams have significantly risen in the past four years, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some red flags.

iPhones have a hidden folder that eats up storage without you knowing it. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some tricks to free up storage on your device.

A recent ransomeware attack targeted Zacks, an American investment firm, and a cybercriminal claimed to have stolen records for millions of customers.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.