Home
>
Parenting
>
How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room

'Whose room is it anyway?'

If you have a teenager, you're no doubt familiar with the warcry of independence:

'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as I please.'

You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, you can't see beyond

the unmade bed

the piles of discarded clothing

the litter of books

magazines

scattered CD covers

pizza boxes

and soft drinks cans.

Your spirits plummet as you prepare to join battle yet again.

But let's stop for a moment and take stock. Do we really need to create a fuss?

We all know adolescence is a time of change. The desire for independence is strong - yet the adolescent is still very dependent, especially where finance is concerned.

There's a subconscious need for rebellion during this phase: our children feel a need to kick against the goad; to throw off the shackles of childhood; to explore and develop this strange, often threatening personality.

That's why at around the age of thirteen our kids 'disappear' from the family circle and spend much of their time in their rooms.

It's like taking to the hills, a way of retreating from the old folks and their 'naff' conversations, values and ideals.

The Untidy Room Syndrome states loudly and clearly, 'I want to do things MY WAY, not yours!'

So the music blares, the scraps of food fester - as would the unwashed clothes, if you let them!

Only a privileged few receive an invite to the inner sanctum. The rest make do with: 'Get out of my room!'

MY room?

We parents provide every home comfort. We pay the mortgage. We pay the bills. We do the laundering. Yet we're told, 'Get out of MY room'!

Let's laugh it off! (While insisting on common courtesy, of course).

Growing kids need their space, a safe haven where they can 'chill out'.

So what about the mess?

What stance should we take on that?

Well, let's remember the mess is part of the rebellion. We keep the rest of the home tidy, don't we?

Then turn a blind eye (with one exception, which we'll come to in a moment).

Yes, turn a blind eye! If they want to scatter their CDs and magazines and clothes in glorious chaos, let them.

They're in a controlled, safe environment, after all - the family home. They're not trashing the town, like so many others.

No, let them get the rebellion out of their systems. Good news: it will only last a few years.

And hard experience will teach them the lessons they need to learn. 'Oops! My CD's don't play so well when they're scratched and dusty.'

'I'm fed up looking for things and not finding them. There has to be a better way!'

Let's encourage our kids to keep a tidy room - but leave the details to them.

So what about that exception?

Lay down the law - with a sledge hammer if necessary! - when it comes to matters of health and hygiene.

If you do the laundering and your kids expect clean clothes, then insist they pick up the items to be washed and put them in the laundry basket.

If they leave scraps of food and half-drunk cups of coffee, insist they clear them away. Explain why you're taking this line. There's no convincing objection they can raise!

Insist they make a clearance for whoever does the vacuuming and dusting.

Apart from that, take a step back. If they can happily live in the chaos, you can happily leave them to it.

Relax. Bide your time. The fires of rebellious youth will splutter and fizzle, and it will all come right in the end.

Happy Parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html

express cleaning service Arlington Heights ..

In The News:

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.