Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.
In an attempt to cope with the confusing reality of what has happened to them, many children develop survival skills or behaviors that will help them to cover up what they are really feeling. Families, friends and society sometimes see and judge the problem behavior when it is actually a symptom of the internal pain which has never been addressed.
The number of reports is rising each year due to mandatory reporting laws, better public education and greater public awareness of the problem. Over the last 30 years many key developments in law enforcement have made it easier to deal with victims and their families with greater understanding, making it easier for them to come forward and ask for help.
In the Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, they found that of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse-not even a friend or sibling. If indeed, sexual abuse happens to one in four children, yet only 1.8 cases are reported per 1,000 children you have to wonder why.
The most common reasons given by victims for not reporting these crimes to authorities:
1. They feel no one will believe them, as the perpetrator has told them repeatedly.
2. They are so consumed with self-blame and shame that it happened to them.
3. A parent or another adult believes them, but doesn't want to involve outside parties. They feel it is a private matter and they will just keep the child away from the individual who was hurting them, so as not to disturb the family unit or community.
4. The child or the family is afraid of reprisal from the assailant.
There is always hope and assistance for recovery:
Even if your child or you made a decision to not report it at the time abuse happened, please check out the resources in back of my book: Aware, Assertative but Not Afraid-Protecting Your Children From Sex Abuse and Finding Help if It Has Occurred. I have included almost 100 resources for help. There are so many different methods and techniques to help you heal and gain greater understanding of what has happened to you or your child. No one deserves to suffer from painful memories. Healing is possible no matter how long ago the abuse took place. There is help, guidance and tools available to assist both victims and perpetrators overcome painful pasts and look forward to a future full of hope and promise.
Every state has a child-protection agency that is responsible for investigating sexual-abuse complaints. Any incident, or suspected incident, should be reported to this agency and to the police. Go with the child and then refrain from talking about the incident in front of people who really don't need to know. When you report it to the police, ask for an officer trained in dealing with children and ask for a private place to discuss the situation. Children are usually a little bit more open with someone who does not remind them of the perpetrator. Stay with your child and support him/her as they answer questions.
What should a parent do:
Tell them again and again, that they are not at fault. Reiterate that it is the job of adults to protect children, not hurt them. Reassure them that you believe them and will support their efforts and those of the police in seeing this never happens to another child. Most offenders molest more than one child; especially in cases of incest. Breaking the silence and reporting the perpetrator to the authorities or a trusted adult will protect other children. Be sure to tell your child it takes courage to speak out when things are wrong, and you are proud of them for stepping forward.
? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator and PBS Consultant - www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareMemorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
taxi o'hare Auburn ..O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More
Parenting |