Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.
In an attempt to cope with the confusing reality of what has happened to them, many children develop survival skills or behaviors that will help them to cover up what they are really feeling. Families, friends and society sometimes see and judge the problem behavior when it is actually a symptom of the internal pain which has never been addressed.
The number of reports is rising each year due to mandatory reporting laws, better public education and greater public awareness of the problem. Over the last 30 years many key developments in law enforcement have made it easier to deal with victims and their families with greater understanding, making it easier for them to come forward and ask for help.
In the Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, they found that of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse-not even a friend or sibling. If indeed, sexual abuse happens to one in four children, yet only 1.8 cases are reported per 1,000 children you have to wonder why.
The most common reasons given by victims for not reporting these crimes to authorities:
1. They feel no one will believe them, as the perpetrator has told them repeatedly.
2. They are so consumed with self-blame and shame that it happened to them.
3. A parent or another adult believes them, but doesn't want to involve outside parties. They feel it is a private matter and they will just keep the child away from the individual who was hurting them, so as not to disturb the family unit or community.
4. The child or the family is afraid of reprisal from the assailant.
There is always hope and assistance for recovery:
Even if your child or you made a decision to not report it at the time abuse happened, please check out the resources in back of my book: Aware, Assertative but Not Afraid-Protecting Your Children From Sex Abuse and Finding Help if It Has Occurred. I have included almost 100 resources for help. There are so many different methods and techniques to help you heal and gain greater understanding of what has happened to you or your child. No one deserves to suffer from painful memories. Healing is possible no matter how long ago the abuse took place. There is help, guidance and tools available to assist both victims and perpetrators overcome painful pasts and look forward to a future full of hope and promise.
Every state has a child-protection agency that is responsible for investigating sexual-abuse complaints. Any incident, or suspected incident, should be reported to this agency and to the police. Go with the child and then refrain from talking about the incident in front of people who really don't need to know. When you report it to the police, ask for an officer trained in dealing with children and ask for a private place to discuss the situation. Children are usually a little bit more open with someone who does not remind them of the perpetrator. Stay with your child and support him/her as they answer questions.
What should a parent do:
Tell them again and again, that they are not at fault. Reiterate that it is the job of adults to protect children, not hurt them. Reassure them that you believe them and will support their efforts and those of the police in seeing this never happens to another child. Most offenders molest more than one child; especially in cases of incest. Breaking the silence and reporting the perpetrator to the authorities or a trusted adult will protect other children. Be sure to tell your child it takes courage to speak out when things are wrong, and you are proud of them for stepping forward.
? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator and PBS Consultant - www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Parenting |