Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.
In an attempt to cope with the confusing reality of what has happened to them, many children develop survival skills or behaviors that will help them to cover up what they are really feeling. Families, friends and society sometimes see and judge the problem behavior when it is actually a symptom of the internal pain which has never been addressed.
The number of reports is rising each year due to mandatory reporting laws, better public education and greater public awareness of the problem. Over the last 30 years many key developments in law enforcement have made it easier to deal with victims and their families with greater understanding, making it easier for them to come forward and ask for help.
In the Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, they found that of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse-not even a friend or sibling. If indeed, sexual abuse happens to one in four children, yet only 1.8 cases are reported per 1,000 children you have to wonder why.
The most common reasons given by victims for not reporting these crimes to authorities:
1. They feel no one will believe them, as the perpetrator has told them repeatedly.
2. They are so consumed with self-blame and shame that it happened to them.
3. A parent or another adult believes them, but doesn't want to involve outside parties. They feel it is a private matter and they will just keep the child away from the individual who was hurting them, so as not to disturb the family unit or community.
4. The child or the family is afraid of reprisal from the assailant.
There is always hope and assistance for recovery:
Even if your child or you made a decision to not report it at the time abuse happened, please check out the resources in back of my book: Aware, Assertative but Not Afraid-Protecting Your Children From Sex Abuse and Finding Help if It Has Occurred. I have included almost 100 resources for help. There are so many different methods and techniques to help you heal and gain greater understanding of what has happened to you or your child. No one deserves to suffer from painful memories. Healing is possible no matter how long ago the abuse took place. There is help, guidance and tools available to assist both victims and perpetrators overcome painful pasts and look forward to a future full of hope and promise.
Every state has a child-protection agency that is responsible for investigating sexual-abuse complaints. Any incident, or suspected incident, should be reported to this agency and to the police. Go with the child and then refrain from talking about the incident in front of people who really don't need to know. When you report it to the police, ask for an officer trained in dealing with children and ask for a private place to discuss the situation. Children are usually a little bit more open with someone who does not remind them of the perpetrator. Stay with your child and support him/her as they answer questions.
What should a parent do:
Tell them again and again, that they are not at fault. Reiterate that it is the job of adults to protect children, not hurt them. Reassure them that you believe them and will support their efforts and those of the police in seeing this never happens to another child. Most offenders molest more than one child; especially in cases of incest. Breaking the silence and reporting the perpetrator to the authorities or a trusted adult will protect other children. Be sure to tell your child it takes courage to speak out when things are wrong, and you are proud of them for stepping forward.
? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator and PBS Consultant - www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
disinfecting cleaning services Arlington Heights ..A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Mundelein ..Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
Parenting |