How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children to become, we include "responsible" among other things such as happy, fulfilled and caring. We want our children to learn to make wise choices, be responsible for their actions and live responsibly.

Do we teach children to become responsible by simply giving them chores to do? That's part of it for sure but only part of it. What about learning to be responsible for their actions? What kind of messages do we give out that either encourage or discourage a child to become responsible? How are we at taking responsibility for our actions?

Expecting children to participate in the running of the household can begin as soon as they learn to walk. It simply makes a statement that they are a valued member of the household and are capable of making a contribution. We can start by providing hooks at their level so they can hang up their coats, by providing large plastic bins so toys can be easily accessed and put away, and by providing plastic dinnerware so they can clear their own dishes away. The older children become, responsibilities can be added according to what you're comfortable with and what is appropriate for their age. If we get into the habit of always doing things for them that they can do for themselves, we give them the message that they're not capable.

When we discipline through natural and logical consequences we teach children to become responsible for their behavior. Physical punishment, nagging and lecturing seldom works in teaching a child to act responsibly. They instead learn to fear us and the result is a parent/child relationship that is not based around mutual trust and respect. Our job as parents is to help make children accountable for their behavior.

Offering choices provides many opportunities for children to learn responsibility. Life is all about choices and we can begin offering a choice of 2 or 3 things to toddlers. They learn to live with the consequences of their choices and it says to them that they are capable of making a choice which in turn encourages mutual respect and a healthy sense of self-worth.

How often do we as parents take on the problems of our children when in fact it's they who own the problem? We become overly anxious around homework not completed, an argument with a friend, or any number of things that truly have nothing to do with us. When we allow our children to take ownership of their own problems and learn to detach ourselves, we teach them to become responsible for their actions. We also give them the message that we know they are capable of handling the problem. We can instead offer guidance with questions such as: "What would you do differently next time?" "What do you think will happen if you don't finish this?" We can still guide and support without fixing.

How are we at assuming responsibility for our own actions? Are we quick to blame others for things that go wrong or do we take ownership for our part in a problem? If we constantly blame others for things that go wrong in our lives, we teach our children to become victims. They don't learn that the only person that can fully take charge of what happens to us, is ourselves. People who live responsibly take action to change rather than react and blame others.

Recommended reading: "Raising a Responsible Child" by Dr. Don Dinkmeyer and Dr. Gary McKay.

Barbara Desmarais is a Parenting and Life Coach. She works with parents both privately and in groups helping them to find solutions to their parenting challenges. She has worked with parents for over 16 years.

cleaning team near Winnetka ..
In The News:

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.
iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.
Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.
FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.
Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.
Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.
Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.
Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.
Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.
New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.
FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.
New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.
OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.
Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.
New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.
DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.
Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.
Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.
Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.
A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.
South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.
Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

They Call it Puppy Love

My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More

No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3

I had my first two children on either side of... Read More

Personal Honor

There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More

Taking Home Souvenirs, Not Junk

Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip... Read More

Successful Treatment Planning for Attention Deficit Disorder - ADD ADHD

O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More

Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety

Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Is it Time for That Talk?

Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards

One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More

Parents, Teach Thought-Stopping! Fix Crooked Thinking Caps

Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More

After the Driving School

If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More

Challenges for Our Children

Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More

My Husband Prioritizes Making Money Above Family Time

"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions

An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More

Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?

Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More

When A Parent Is Deployed

When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More

Teach Your Kids to Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs in the Future

We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More

School Holiday Survival Guide

The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More

Teaching Kids the Value of Money

My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted... Read More

Teaching Reading: Part One

One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More

The Long Journey Home

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Tips for the Classroom Teachers with ADHD Students

Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More

family-safe home cleaners Northbrook ..