Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her parents. What started out as monthly grocery shopping for them, over the course of 2 years became a full time duty, an overwhelming burden and just about broke her emotionally and financially.
They say that it's good that primary caregivers don't know what to expect or they would not enter into the situation. That is only true if they aren't honest with themselves and with others, don't research the many options and review the abundant material now available to families. Not everyone can take on the responsibility for any number of reasons. So potential caregivers of aging parents should ask themselves the following questions as the need for care and assistance begins to grow:
Gather the important people who participate in caring for the aging adult, then agree upon the specific roles that each person will play. Be honest about what you're able to give -- for example, will you give more time or money?
Get the emotional support you received from your parents in the past in other ways.
Talk with friends who are in similar situations. Join a caregiver support group.
If you're sharing the caregiving tasks with siblings, keep the lines of communication open.
Send each other progress reports.
Finally, find ways to have more fun with an aging or disabled adult for whom you feel responsible or love. Try to spend YOUR time doing things that will be most appreciated. Hire out house maintenance tasks, like lawn care and snow removal. Use a companion service for light housekeeping, meal preparation, grocery shopping and errands. Spend your time doing things WITH rather than FOR the older adult. Professional organizations can help with the mundane tasks so you can spend more quality time looking through photo albums, writing letters to out of town family, taking the grandkids to the park, or sharing a cup of tea.
Begin your journey of caregiving by defining preferences, plans and roles prior to being confronted and swept up by crises.
About The Author
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters coach and author of several products to assist families experiencing aging including the pamphlet, Don't Be a Burden: 100 Tips. Get free articles and information at www.sospueblo.com.
no-contract cleaning service Des Plaines ..We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
1. Create... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
Parenting |