Home
>
Parenting
>
Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to their kids about divorce. For each parent, the discussions differ, but the goals of the discussions are universal: to openly and honestly reassure your child of your love.

Divorce is painful and traumatic for all involved ? spouses and children alike. We all happily begin our lives together full of shared hopes and dreams and committed to a lasting and loving relationship. Yet almost 50 % of today's marriages end in divorce. How parents handle divorce, however, makes the difference in their children's healthy adjustment or potential maladjustment.

Here's an example of how to begin talking to your child about your divorce.

Let's meet Brad: Brad is 9 years old and an only child. He's the apple of his mother's eye and dad's best buddy. Brad is at the top of his class in school and participates in the school band and in the spelling bee. He's also an active athlete ? playing intramural hockey and soccer, and running competitively. Both of his parents attend all of his sports and school activities.

One day to his surprise Dad takes him out after a soccer game and tells him "I have something sad to tell you. Mom and I are having a hard time, and you may have noticed something wasn't right between us, and you are right. We're going to live in different houses and you'll be spending some of the week with me and some with your Mom. I know this will be difficult for all of us. So we should talk about it openly together and about what we're both feeling." Discussing divorce with your children is never easy. Here are some tips to help ease this transition.

1. Communicate with your spouse (partner): Although things have not worked out in the marriage, the two of you still have children to raise together. Be sure you both are in agreement as to the timeline of the change and give your children clear dates and details. The more solid the plan, the less anxiety your child will experience.

2. Use age appropriate language and details: A five-year-old and ten-year-old understand very different things and have different levels of maturity. Follow their questioning before offering details. Be honest, but remember what is appropriate for the age of the child or they will not comprehend the situation.

3. Reassurance: Reassure them that they will continue to be loved and cared for by the two of you. Let your children know that your love for one another has changed, but that your love for them remains strong and constant. Reiterate that the divorce is not their fault.

4. Discretion: Make an agreement with your spouse to not speak badly about the other spouse to the children. Refrain from arguing in front of the children and do your best to keep them out of your conflict!

5. Know yourself: Be aware of your own feelings of hurt or anger. Do not make a child a confidant for the pain the divorce is causing you. Seek a support group to help you through this period. Share your feelings with friends and professionals. Children are not therapists!

Always remember: Strive to be communicative and honest during and after the divorce process because there will be different degrees of feelings over the event as time goes on. If you're communicating honestly, however, you can never hurt your child.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.

Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.

Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.

Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.

Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.

China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries

Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.

The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.

ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.

Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.

The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.

You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.

Voice assistants may cause confusion across devices. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers some solutions to fix it.

Shameless scammers trick veterans into giving personal info or cash. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explores five common scams.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you honor our heroes with these powerful podcasts, audiobooks and documentaries this Veterans Day.

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Parenting