Home
>
Parenting
>
Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to you when you wanted them to? This is one of the most common issues that parents bring to me seeking help and support. Parents tell me that instead of listening to them, their kids sometimes ignore them, walk away, don't do what they are told, laugh at them, turn up the radio or TV, talk back to them or give them the silent treatment. Parents say that they feel tired, frustrated, upset and at times at their wits end. By the time they come to me they have tried everything without success. So what else is there to do?

Let's start from the beginning. Parents ask me to fix their kids so that their kids will listen to them. What we talk about in our initial conversation is something very, very different than fixing their kids. Something parents do not expect. I am going to share with you here a piece of this big, huge, enormous, gigantic, colossal difference. To prepare, sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and get ready for it. Here it comes: we cannot fix (i.e., we cannot change) anyone but ourselves. You might be thinking right now: What? Is she crazy, out of her mind? Does she believe in no discipline and no boundaries with kids? Who is going to raise my kids if it is not me? This woman has lost it. I better stop reading because her illness might be contagious!

Having worked with parents, kids, teachers, administrators, psychiatrists, school specialists, etc., for almost ten years, I lose count of the times that kids were coerced to listen to adults and/or were supposedly being "fixed" so they would listen to adults - unsuccessfully. Why is that? I think that in my work with hundreds of kids I have discovered a vital link.

Kids won't really listen to an adult until they feel that that adult fully listens to them. They don't need to be fixed. What they need is to be intently listened to and truly heard. If we try to make them listen to us by raising our voice, giving them a look, coercing them, punishing them, feeling hurt by their behavior, feeling angry at them, etc., the last thing that we do is to listen to them. It is quite obvious - we can't even think about listening to them when the situation has gotten us in so much turmoil.

I propose that we come from a different place when being around kids that don't listen to us. Make an effort to listen to them first in a focused and understanding way. When we do that, we create an inviting environment where they feel welcomed and understood. By giving them our undivided attention as we listen to what they say, we are modeling the listening behavior we want from them. It becomes "do as I do" and not just "do as I say."

Think back to when you were a kid. If your parents and other adults in your life had really listened to you, how would that have influenced your life? The good news is that it is within your power to give that to your own kids!

I encourage you to listen to your kids intently and understandingly and see what happens. I would love to hear your success stories and comments. Please email me at orly@ourextraordinarykids.com or for more information visit www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Why are some kids and teens self-confident and self-reliant and others are not? Orly Szerman is a published author, teacher and confidence coach. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens, visit her website, www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Orly Szerman M.S., has been working with parents, kids, teens, families and couples for almost ten years as a therapist, certified parent coach, teacher and family advocate. She is the founder and president of Our Extraordinary Kids and a faculty member of Parent as Coach Academy. Orly created and designed innovative parent programs for STAR Education, which was selected as a model program by the White House and the U.S. Department of Education. She specializes in helping parents raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids & teens visit her website www.ourextraordinarykids.com or email her at www.ourextraordinarykids.com

no-contract cleaning service Mundelein ..

In The News:

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Parenting