Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to you when you wanted them to? This is one of the most common issues that parents bring to me seeking help and support. Parents tell me that instead of listening to them, their kids sometimes ignore them, walk away, don't do what they are told, laugh at them, turn up the radio or TV, talk back to them or give them the silent treatment. Parents say that they feel tired, frustrated, upset and at times at their wits end. By the time they come to me they have tried everything without success. So what else is there to do?

Let's start from the beginning. Parents ask me to fix their kids so that their kids will listen to them. What we talk about in our initial conversation is something very, very different than fixing their kids. Something parents do not expect. I am going to share with you here a piece of this big, huge, enormous, gigantic, colossal difference. To prepare, sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and get ready for it. Here it comes: we cannot fix (i.e., we cannot change) anyone but ourselves. You might be thinking right now: What? Is she crazy, out of her mind? Does she believe in no discipline and no boundaries with kids? Who is going to raise my kids if it is not me? This woman has lost it. I better stop reading because her illness might be contagious!

Having worked with parents, kids, teachers, administrators, psychiatrists, school specialists, etc., for almost ten years, I lose count of the times that kids were coerced to listen to adults and/or were supposedly being "fixed" so they would listen to adults - unsuccessfully. Why is that? I think that in my work with hundreds of kids I have discovered a vital link.

Kids won't really listen to an adult until they feel that that adult fully listens to them. They don't need to be fixed. What they need is to be intently listened to and truly heard. If we try to make them listen to us by raising our voice, giving them a look, coercing them, punishing them, feeling hurt by their behavior, feeling angry at them, etc., the last thing that we do is to listen to them. It is quite obvious - we can't even think about listening to them when the situation has gotten us in so much turmoil.

I propose that we come from a different place when being around kids that don't listen to us. Make an effort to listen to them first in a focused and understanding way. When we do that, we create an inviting environment where they feel welcomed and understood. By giving them our undivided attention as we listen to what they say, we are modeling the listening behavior we want from them. It becomes "do as I do" and not just "do as I say."

Think back to when you were a kid. If your parents and other adults in your life had really listened to you, how would that have influenced your life? The good news is that it is within your power to give that to your own kids!

I encourage you to listen to your kids intently and understandingly and see what happens. I would love to hear your success stories and comments. Please email me at orly@ourextraordinarykids.com or for more information visit www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Why are some kids and teens self-confident and self-reliant and others are not? Orly Szerman is a published author, teacher and confidence coach. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens, visit her website, www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Orly Szerman M.S., has been working with parents, kids, teens, families and couples for almost ten years as a therapist, certified parent coach, teacher and family advocate. She is the founder and president of Our Extraordinary Kids and a faculty member of Parent as Coach Academy. Orly created and designed innovative parent programs for STAR Education, which was selected as a model program by the White House and the U.S. Department of Education. She specializes in helping parents raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids & teens visit her website www.ourextraordinarykids.com or email her at www.ourextraordinarykids.com

green cleaning service Park Ridge ..
In The News:

A groundbreaking new study has uncovered disturbing AI blackmail behavior that many people are unaware of yet.
Four teams of autonomous humanoid robots competed in China's first AI soccer tournament, demonstrating advanced capabilities in ball detection and independent decision-making.
The ID. Buzz autonomous van features self-driving technology with 13 cameras, nine LiDAR units and five radars after Volkswagen partnered with Hamburg and Uber for 2026 deployments.
Social Security phishing scams use urgency and impersonation to steal personal data. Learn how to spot fake SSA emails and implement 10 protective measures.
French startup Pazzi Robotics created an AI-powered pizza robot that made pies in under five minutes without human help, but it closed in 2022 despite patents and expert partnerships.
Reclaim your time from big tech with effective screen time reduction strategies for iPhone and Android, featuring steps to limit app usage and create phone-free zones.
Amazon Prime Day shoppers face threats from 120,000-plus scam websites as cybercriminals prepare phishing traps and malware ahead of the July sales event.
Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.
The AEON humanoid robot tackles labor challenges with Nvidia AI, Microsoft Azure cloud and advanced spatial awareness, working alongside industry leaders Schaeffler and Pilatus.
Google's Ask Photos feature brings AI-powered searches to your photo library, letting you find memories with natural language queries while maintaining privacy controls.
The return of blue book exams emerges as universities fight widespread AI academic dishonesty and educators debate whether to ban AI tools or teach responsible usage.
Signs your phone might be hacked include strange behavior, unauthorized texts, battery drain and pop-ups, while protection involves updating software and avoiding public Wi-Fi.
Tokyo startup H2L has launched Capsule Interface technology enabling full-body robot control with muscle sensors, offering immersive remote operation.
The A.I. industry seems set for growing pains as Big Tech companies scramble for solutions to the medium's unprecedented strain on the power grid.
Fourth of July fireworks cause a 60% spike in lost pets, but GPS trackers and AI photo-matching services like Love Lost can help reunite missing dogs with their families.
Protect yourself from jugging, the rising crime by which thieves monitor ATM users and follow them to steal cash, with six practical safety tips to stay alert and secure.
U.S. airlines like Delta, American and United are selling your domestic flight records to government agencies through the little-known Travel Intelligence Program.
Autonomous robots from Uber Eats are rolling out across U.S. cities, featuring LIDAR sensors, secure compartments and all-weather operation for food and grocery delivery.
Costco has expanded into EV infrastructure with new ultra-fast charging stations that can charge most electric vehicles to 80% in 20-60 minutes while shoppers browse the warehouse.
The new Gemini Robotics On-Device AI allows robots to perform complex tasks without internet, offering enhanced privacy, reliability and adaptability for real-world use.
Protect yourself from Amazon phishing scams by spotting red flags like suspicious sender addresses and spelling errors while using Amazon's Message Center to verify communications.
GAC Group's new Govy AirCab flying car combines lightweight design with advanced safety systems and smart cabin technology to revolutionize city travel with an 18.6-mile range.
The Berkeley Humanoid Light (BHL) is a lightweight, open source humanoid robot that anyone can build using 3D-printed parts and off-the-shelf components.
Meta’s new AI chatbot is getting personal, and it might be sharing more than you realize.
A new threat targets both Android and iPhone users: SparkKitty, a powerful mobile malware strain that scans private photos to steal cryptocurrency recovery phrases and other sensitive data.

Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids

In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

Parenting Confidence - Who Needs It?

It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More

Your Child?s Self-Esteem is in The Cards

Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More

Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim

The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More

7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork

In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling - For Mothers

"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More

Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!

This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More

How to Take Charge of the TV

Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More

Parenting---Roots and Wings

I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More

Featured Article on Parenting: The Power of Belonging

Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More

Celebrating Life with Children in September

Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More

Is Your Child Having Trouble in School?

Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More

When Kids Hurt Parents

The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More

Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?

Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More

Assertiveness: Key to Better Parenting

I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More

The Secret of Understanding Children

It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More

Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them

Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More

Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane

It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More

People of the Century by Dan Rather

Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More

Parents Need to Vent Anger! Try These 4 Steps to Serenity

Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More

No, No, No -- What Else is a Parent to Say?

The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More

Effective Troubled Teen Programs

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More

emergency cleaning services Morton Grove ..