Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to you when you wanted them to? This is one of the most common issues that parents bring to me seeking help and support. Parents tell me that instead of listening to them, their kids sometimes ignore them, walk away, don't do what they are told, laugh at them, turn up the radio or TV, talk back to them or give them the silent treatment. Parents say that they feel tired, frustrated, upset and at times at their wits end. By the time they come to me they have tried everything without success. So what else is there to do?

Let's start from the beginning. Parents ask me to fix their kids so that their kids will listen to them. What we talk about in our initial conversation is something very, very different than fixing their kids. Something parents do not expect. I am going to share with you here a piece of this big, huge, enormous, gigantic, colossal difference. To prepare, sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and get ready for it. Here it comes: we cannot fix (i.e., we cannot change) anyone but ourselves. You might be thinking right now: What? Is she crazy, out of her mind? Does she believe in no discipline and no boundaries with kids? Who is going to raise my kids if it is not me? This woman has lost it. I better stop reading because her illness might be contagious!

Having worked with parents, kids, teachers, administrators, psychiatrists, school specialists, etc., for almost ten years, I lose count of the times that kids were coerced to listen to adults and/or were supposedly being "fixed" so they would listen to adults - unsuccessfully. Why is that? I think that in my work with hundreds of kids I have discovered a vital link.

Kids won't really listen to an adult until they feel that that adult fully listens to them. They don't need to be fixed. What they need is to be intently listened to and truly heard. If we try to make them listen to us by raising our voice, giving them a look, coercing them, punishing them, feeling hurt by their behavior, feeling angry at them, etc., the last thing that we do is to listen to them. It is quite obvious - we can't even think about listening to them when the situation has gotten us in so much turmoil.

I propose that we come from a different place when being around kids that don't listen to us. Make an effort to listen to them first in a focused and understanding way. When we do that, we create an inviting environment where they feel welcomed and understood. By giving them our undivided attention as we listen to what they say, we are modeling the listening behavior we want from them. It becomes "do as I do" and not just "do as I say."

Think back to when you were a kid. If your parents and other adults in your life had really listened to you, how would that have influenced your life? The good news is that it is within your power to give that to your own kids!

I encourage you to listen to your kids intently and understandingly and see what happens. I would love to hear your success stories and comments. Please email me at orly@ourextraordinarykids.com or for more information visit www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Why are some kids and teens self-confident and self-reliant and others are not? Orly Szerman is a published author, teacher and confidence coach. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens, visit her website, www.ourextraordinarykids.com

Orly Szerman M.S., has been working with parents, kids, teens, families and couples for almost ten years as a therapist, certified parent coach, teacher and family advocate. She is the founder and president of Our Extraordinary Kids and a faculty member of Parent as Coach Academy. Orly created and designed innovative parent programs for STAR Education, which was selected as a model program by the White House and the U.S. Department of Education. She specializes in helping parents raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids & teens visit her website www.ourextraordinarykids.com or email her at www.ourextraordinarykids.com

bathroom cleaning service Northbrook ..
In The News:

Learn how to act against cybercriminals in 2026 with essential security steps like two-factor authentication, software updates and credit freezing.
Choose between OpenAI releasing Sora text-to-video model, the AI race heating up, or Waymo driverless cars launching in cities across the country
Learn how to set up Google Maps and Apple Maps on your phone to automatically remember where you parked. Step-by-step instructions for enabling location services and parking detection.
Phishing scammers use rnicrosoft.com domain to impersonate Microsoft by replacing "m" with "rn" in typosquatting attacks that steal login credentials.
OpenAI announces new teen safety rules for ChatGPT users under 18, blocking romantic roleplay and requiring extra caution on body image topics.
A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.
Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.
ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.
ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.
Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.
San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.
FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.
Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.
Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

CPR: Why You Should Know It

I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children

It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More

Strategies to Help Boost Your Childs Self Esteem

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More

How to Find The Best Time To Be With Your Kids

"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More

The Best Gifts Ever: Life Experiences Every Child Should Have

This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child Respect?

A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Your Child, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More

Your Job as a Role Model

A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More

Marriages May End But Families Are Forever

It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More

Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More

Potty Training Battle of the Wills

Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More

The Top 10 Tips on Hiring a Babysitter

1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More

7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork

In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More

Types of Schools for Troubled Teens

It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More

The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More

Wholism and Materialism

Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More

Back to School Care Packages!

I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

I Dont Believe in ADHD

O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More

Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends

One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More

Why Mother?s Day is Important For Children

Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make - And Easy Ways To Correct Them

As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More

Are You Too Busy for Your Kids?

In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More

insured cleaning company Wilmette ..