It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old Stephanie is shopping with you at Wal-Mart and picks out three stuffed animals that she saw in the movie Madagascar. "Oh Mom please! I want to bring Alex and Gloria and Melman to Kinder Gym with me!" she says and stomps off in disgust when you tell her she has to choose only one.
Your eight-year old, Alex, comes home from Summer Day Camp. "I need an iPod!" he declares, "Thomas has one and it's sweet!" Your first thought is, "What's an iPod?" Once Alex fills you in on the latest must-have gadget, you're floored by the ticket price and wonder why he needs one when he already has a walkman.
To top it off, your ten-year old, Tabitha, woke up this morning with a singular mission; to have pierced ears with diamond studs like her new best-friend Sarah by the end of the day, when last week she thought body piercings of any kind were gross. She has spent the entire day begging you to bring her to the Salon to get them pierced, ate her dinner in silence and retreated to her room to call Sarah and complain about how unfair her parents are.
You finish the day exhausted by the challenges of managing "gimme" requests from your children. Sitting down with your partner after the kids have been put to bed, you share your concerns about the day's events. You're both left wondering how your children became so materialistic, and worried that they are becoming followers rather than children who are secure in themselves and their values. A change is needed! But where to begin?
During the grade-school years, children grow more interested in the material world than they were back in kindergarten. Motivated by a combination of an increasing awareness of what other kids have and the desire to fit in by having the same things themselves, their acquisitiveness begins to become more apparent.
A child's age-appropriate progression from self-awareness to awareness of others is compounded by the society in which we live. We live in an age of affluence, at times one obsessed with status and possession. Evidenced by TV and other forms of media. One message is coming through loud and clear: You are what you buy and what you own. There's no doubt that it has become increasingly difficult to raise children in this world of materialism, distraction and temptation.
You can help keep your child's materialism in check by following these simple steps:
1) Back to Basics: Try to bring your parenting back to a basic level. No need to respond to the distractions that at times seem out of range on many levels and maybe out of your comfort zone.
2) Self-Awareness: Working along with your parenting partner, ensure agreed-upon family values, as well as the structures that support your beliefs.
3) Explore: Remember that the need your child may have for all these newest gadgets possibly camouflages a deeper problem.
4) Communicate: Discuss with your child the concept of earning, as well as alternative to their request. A less costly option may meet the need.
5) Don't fulfill every request: Children who get everything they ask for don't learn to handle disappointment, and they don't learn to work for the things they desire, or delay the need for gratification.
6) Spend time rather than money on your kids: It's not easy in our hectic lives to give children the time and attention they crave, but that's the best way to ward off the "gimmes."
Remember: No matter what your child says, he/she wants - and needs - a secure sense of family more than a roomful of possessions. There may be times when it's appropriate to fulfill a request and times when it's best to say no. You know your child best: listen, learn, teach and communicate in a respectful manner and do your best to focus your children on the lessons of giving as well as receiving.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.
limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareUnder the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
taxi o'hare Auburn ..1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
Parenting |