It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old Stephanie is shopping with you at Wal-Mart and picks out three stuffed animals that she saw in the movie Madagascar. "Oh Mom please! I want to bring Alex and Gloria and Melman to Kinder Gym with me!" she says and stomps off in disgust when you tell her she has to choose only one.
Your eight-year old, Alex, comes home from Summer Day Camp. "I need an iPod!" he declares, "Thomas has one and it's sweet!" Your first thought is, "What's an iPod?" Once Alex fills you in on the latest must-have gadget, you're floored by the ticket price and wonder why he needs one when he already has a walkman.
To top it off, your ten-year old, Tabitha, woke up this morning with a singular mission; to have pierced ears with diamond studs like her new best-friend Sarah by the end of the day, when last week she thought body piercings of any kind were gross. She has spent the entire day begging you to bring her to the Salon to get them pierced, ate her dinner in silence and retreated to her room to call Sarah and complain about how unfair her parents are.
You finish the day exhausted by the challenges of managing "gimme" requests from your children. Sitting down with your partner after the kids have been put to bed, you share your concerns about the day's events. You're both left wondering how your children became so materialistic, and worried that they are becoming followers rather than children who are secure in themselves and their values. A change is needed! But where to begin?
During the grade-school years, children grow more interested in the material world than they were back in kindergarten. Motivated by a combination of an increasing awareness of what other kids have and the desire to fit in by having the same things themselves, their acquisitiveness begins to become more apparent.
A child's age-appropriate progression from self-awareness to awareness of others is compounded by the society in which we live. We live in an age of affluence, at times one obsessed with status and possession. Evidenced by TV and other forms of media. One message is coming through loud and clear: You are what you buy and what you own. There's no doubt that it has become increasingly difficult to raise children in this world of materialism, distraction and temptation.
You can help keep your child's materialism in check by following these simple steps:
1) Back to Basics: Try to bring your parenting back to a basic level. No need to respond to the distractions that at times seem out of range on many levels and maybe out of your comfort zone.
2) Self-Awareness: Working along with your parenting partner, ensure agreed-upon family values, as well as the structures that support your beliefs.
3) Explore: Remember that the need your child may have for all these newest gadgets possibly camouflages a deeper problem.
4) Communicate: Discuss with your child the concept of earning, as well as alternative to their request. A less costly option may meet the need.
5) Don't fulfill every request: Children who get everything they ask for don't learn to handle disappointment, and they don't learn to work for the things they desire, or delay the need for gratification.
6) Spend time rather than money on your kids: It's not easy in our hectic lives to give children the time and attention they crave, but that's the best way to ward off the "gimmes."
Remember: No matter what your child says, he/she wants - and needs - a secure sense of family more than a roomful of possessions. There may be times when it's appropriate to fulfill a request and times when it's best to say no. You know your child best: listen, learn, teach and communicate in a respectful manner and do your best to focus your children on the lessons of giving as well as receiving.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.
bmw rental chicago Bensenville .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareAs a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
One of the most difficult parts of being a father... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
Breese limo service at o'hare ..A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
Parenting |