Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?

Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake. It makes you question your own gene pool.

In actuality, the problem isn't with the teenager (at least not all of it), the problem is in our approach to teaching our teenager the lesson we want them to learn. In a sense, we act just as crazy sometimes; we teach them using the same strategies that didn't work a month or year ago. We should be asking ourselves, when will we learn from our past mistakes?

Here's a better approach that I've experimented with few times with my own students. It's a modified version of the Socratic method. You simply lead your teenager to a predetermined answer that they come up with on their own. That's it. I know it sounds easy, but it takes quite a bit of practice. Allow me to demonstrate.

A parent of one of my students confided in me that her son was hanging around a dangerous group of boys in the neighborhood. She believed his friends were possibly into drugs, gang violence, and other criminal activity. With no father figure in the home, she thought maybe I could "get through" to him.

I asked her, "What have you said to him?" She replied, "I've told him at least a hundred times that his friends are up to no good, and they're going to eventually get him into trouble and jeopardize his future." She continued, as she cried, "I told him that I made the same mistake when I was his age, and he didn't want to go through the pain I did. I just can't get him to listen."

A lot of us can relate to this mother's frustration. We want so much for our children to avoid the mistakes we made. We can't understand why they can't understand our concern, and we become frustrated and sometimes even angry.

Well, I agreed to meet with her son after class. But I decided to use a different approach. I figured the old approach wasn't working, so what did I have to lose? After a little small talk, I simply asked a couple of simple questions, "Who are your three closest friends?" After he gave their names (all part of the group his mom disliked), I asked him a second question, "If you died tonight, and you had children, would you want any of those friends raising your son or daughter?"

After an extremely long pause, I let him off the hook by saying, "You don't have to give me the answer, but I do want you to ask yourself another question. If you wouldn't let them raise your children in the future, then why are spending most of your time with them today?" That was the end of our discussion.

This little episode may or may not have put him on the right track, but it did one thing his mother was unable to do ? get through to him. He now had to make his own decision based on his own reality, not his mother or his teacher ? and then accept responsibility for the consequences of that decision.

And that's all you can really do for teenagers?get them to think for themselves. If you did a good job teaching your children in the early years, the growing process (including the mistakes) is a lot easier to accept.

The key to getting through to your teenager is to say less, and ask more in order to get them to do more thinking. The more you say, the less they'll think. And the less they think, the more mistakes they're inclined to make. So, take your own advice, learn from your past mistakes by adopting a new approach.

Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today!

Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
In The News:

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.
Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.
Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.
Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.
China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries
Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.
The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.
ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.
Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.
The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.
You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.
Voice assistants may cause confusion across devices. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers some solutions to fix it.
Shameless scammers trick veterans into giving personal info or cash. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explores five common scams.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you honor our heroes with these powerful podcasts, audiobooks and documentaries this Veterans Day.

Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content

The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More

I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More

Develop Your Childs Critical Thinking Skills

1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More

Achieve Success At School - Parents, Help Your Kids Easily Be Top, Honor-Roll Students!

With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More

Book Review: How to Get Your Child to Love Reading

How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Dangerous Myths

MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More

10 keys to Developing Your Childs Genius

Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

The 5 Babysitter Commandments

Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More

Meeting The True Needs of Children Diagnosed As ADHD

How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More

Andy Griffith Show Family Lessons

Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More

From Go Fast Kids to Calm Kids

How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More

How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast

If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More

How to Help Your Children to Blossom

I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More

The Value of Play

Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More

The Reticular Activating System, and its Role in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More

Just Average

What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More

CPR: Why You Should Know It

I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More

Antigo wedding limo ..