Gaining a Child?s Trust

My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks ago. They were having a blast playing in the freezing cold water as I tiptoed around the waves, trying to keep my feet from becoming frost bitten. Next to us in the water was a mother with her daughter who was no more than 18 months old. This woman was holding her frightened little girl hostage in the ocean as the bitter cold waves crashed into her and rushed back with a fierce undertow. The poor child was screaming and crying, begging to be rescued from the torture. Her mother thought this was amusing. She laughed at her baby's fear and grinned at everyone around her. I was disgusted and horrified. I finally told the mother that I didn't find the situation at all funny. I have no idea if my words had any impact. By then, my own kids had finally remembered they had nerve endings and were shivering uncontrollably, begging for the warmth of their dry towels and warm sweatshirts. We left the water's edge and the sickening site of mother traumatizing baby.

Did this mother realize she was probably investing her daughter with an irrational fear of the ocean? I doubt it.

When I see a parent forcing a child to tolerate something potentially fear inducing, it curdles my blood. This child was traumatized and her mother was not helping her escape the offensive waves. She was the cause of her child's trauma. Where is the trust in this relationship? Will this little girl grow up believing that her mother will always be there for her or resent her mom for belittling her sensitivities? I think the latter.

I dread thinking about all the ways this child will, in turn, torture her mother without realizing why. Will she try drugs or alcohol at an early age? Will she indulge in promiscuous sexual behavior at an inappropriate time? Will she be so anesthetized to her self-worth that she drives her first car into a wall at 18? Could be.

In my opinion, this mother is treating her baby with disrespect at the most basic level. Instinctual fear is not something we should laugh at our toddler for having, thereby teaching her that her feelings and natural fear of big looming ice cold waves or any other potentially frightening fact of life is dismissed as meaningless. To this child, Mom is saying her whole existence is disdained, her feelings don't matter and her mother is not there to protect her but to throw her into the pits of hell for her own amusement.

I've seen this happen at amusement parks, playgrounds and schools. No matter what your child is afraid of, respect his fear, acknowledge his trepidation of the unknown and understand that with compassion and tolerance, he will overcome these basic, natural fears with time and maturity. Some children are more sensitive than others. You might have a child who embraces adventure and roller coasters with passion or a child who is horrified by a small slide at the park. This is your baby. No matter what you think they should be feeling, they have their own wiring. They're going to move at their own internal pace. Let's respect and honor that pace which in turn shows our child that we respect and honor him. This sets a healthy foundation for self-esteem and self-respect, which is so very important for our children to function at their best in the world.

Copyright ? 2000-2005- Rexanne Mancini

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com

executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car
In The News:

Getting virus alerts on your iPhone? Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to handle fake scam alerts and boost security.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says opening emails is safe, but risks arise from interacting with links, attachments or HTML content.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals four signs of compromised Social Security numbers and offers five steps to protect yourself.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how MAB Robotics' Honey Badger 4.0, a versatile robot, now walks underwater with amphibious skills.
An updated Android trojan called FakeCall hijacks bank calls. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Android phone manufacturers and Google need to step up their game on security.
The Massimo Modular E9 is a sleek, smart and comfy tiny home in 409 square feet. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson takes a closer look at what the future of housing might look like.
Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.
Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.
A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.
Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.
Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.
Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.
Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.
Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.
More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.
UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.
Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.

Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More

7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork

In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More

Blended Families Can Be Successful

Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room

Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More

Work Before Play

Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More

Wholism and Materialism

Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

Making Internet Chat Safe For Your Children

No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More

War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online

Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More

Develop Your Childs Critical Thinking Skills

1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More

Tips For a First-Time Dad

So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More

Weathering Colic for New Parents

A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More

Childhood Friendships

Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More

Raising a Self-Sufficient Teen

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More

Over-Indulgence And Over-Attentiveness - Two Dangers Parents Must Avoid!

We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More

How Is Peaceful Parenting? Different?

Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

Adoption: Laughter and Tears

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion

Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More

Why Mother?s Day is Important For Children

Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More

How to Prepare for Labor

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More

Time Managment Skills for Children

Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More

O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..