Home
>
Parenting
>
Gaining a Child?s Trust

Gaining a Child?s Trust

My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks ago. They were having a blast playing in the freezing cold water as I tiptoed around the waves, trying to keep my feet from becoming frost bitten. Next to us in the water was a mother with her daughter who was no more than 18 months old. This woman was holding her frightened little girl hostage in the ocean as the bitter cold waves crashed into her and rushed back with a fierce undertow. The poor child was screaming and crying, begging to be rescued from the torture. Her mother thought this was amusing. She laughed at her baby's fear and grinned at everyone around her. I was disgusted and horrified. I finally told the mother that I didn't find the situation at all funny. I have no idea if my words had any impact. By then, my own kids had finally remembered they had nerve endings and were shivering uncontrollably, begging for the warmth of their dry towels and warm sweatshirts. We left the water's edge and the sickening site of mother traumatizing baby.

Did this mother realize she was probably investing her daughter with an irrational fear of the ocean? I doubt it.

When I see a parent forcing a child to tolerate something potentially fear inducing, it curdles my blood. This child was traumatized and her mother was not helping her escape the offensive waves. She was the cause of her child's trauma. Where is the trust in this relationship? Will this little girl grow up believing that her mother will always be there for her or resent her mom for belittling her sensitivities? I think the latter.

I dread thinking about all the ways this child will, in turn, torture her mother without realizing why. Will she try drugs or alcohol at an early age? Will she indulge in promiscuous sexual behavior at an inappropriate time? Will she be so anesthetized to her self-worth that she drives her first car into a wall at 18? Could be.

In my opinion, this mother is treating her baby with disrespect at the most basic level. Instinctual fear is not something we should laugh at our toddler for having, thereby teaching her that her feelings and natural fear of big looming ice cold waves or any other potentially frightening fact of life is dismissed as meaningless. To this child, Mom is saying her whole existence is disdained, her feelings don't matter and her mother is not there to protect her but to throw her into the pits of hell for her own amusement.

I've seen this happen at amusement parks, playgrounds and schools. No matter what your child is afraid of, respect his fear, acknowledge his trepidation of the unknown and understand that with compassion and tolerance, he will overcome these basic, natural fears with time and maturity. Some children are more sensitive than others. You might have a child who embraces adventure and roller coasters with passion or a child who is horrified by a small slide at the park. This is your baby. No matter what you think they should be feeling, they have their own wiring. They're going to move at their own internal pace. Let's respect and honor that pace which in turn shows our child that we respect and honor him. This sets a healthy foundation for self-esteem and self-respect, which is so very important for our children to function at their best in the world.

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com

custom home cleaning Wilmette ..

In The News:

Unlike robotaxi competitors, Tensor focuses on consumer-owned self-driving cars that adapt to highways and urban roads with full redundancy systems for safety.

Medicare scams cost $54 billion in 2024 as fraudsters target beneficiaries with fake calls demanding payments and personal information to steal benefits.

Scammers create fake Evite invitations that mimic legitimate event emails, requiring users to verify senders and use antivirus software for protection.

The new Apple Watch hypertension feature passively monitors blood pressure patterns over 30 days using sensors to detect chronic high blood pressure signs.

Chrome extension spyware disguised as a free VPN service highlights security risks after it captured private browsing data from trusted sites.

New research shows how fatty acids in cooking oil can safely dissolve and recover silver from circuit boards without harmful chemicals or environmental damage.

The Fox News AI newsletter gives you information on the latest AI technology advancements, and about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Anthropic investigates alarming AI abuse case where hacker automated entire cybercrime campaign using Claude, stealing sensitive data from defense and healthcare firms.

TikTok, Meta and YouTube restrict Charlie Kirk shooting videos with age gates and warnings while X faces criticism for allowing continued circulation.

Cybercriminals use fake troubleshooting websites to trick Mac users into running terminal commands that install Shamos malware through ClickFix tactics.

San Francisco startup Fable launches Showrunner, an AI platform dubbed the 'Netflix of AI' that generates animated episodes from text descriptions with Amazon support.

Apple raised iPhone prices for some models despite receiving tariff relief from President Donald Trump, with the new lineup starting at $799 for the base model.

A two-story 3D concrete printed home in Western Australia demonstrates faster construction methods that could reshape American housing amid rising costs.

Credit scores remain important during retirement for insurance rates and housing applications, while seniors become prime targets for identity theft and financial scams.

Scammers now send unexpected packages with QR codes that redirect victims to fraudulent websites or download malicious software to steal sensitive information.

Meeting AI tools record private conversations alongside work discussions, creating privacy risks that can be managed with proper settings and awareness.

Hotel privacy concerns are valid but rare, with methods to detect hidden tech using smartphone flashlights, mirror tests and scanning apps.

Improve your Wi-Fi speed and reliability with 10 simple router optimization tips that don't require special apps or expensive subscriptions.

A Columbia University breach exposed names, Social Security numbers and academic records of nearly 869,000 people, with notifications beginning in August.

Rental car drivers use AI-powered apps like Proofr to protect themselves from unfair damage fees as major companies deploy automated inspection tools.

Fox News' AI newsletter brings you the latest on technology advancements around artificial intelligence.

OnTrac data breach between April 13-15, 2025, exposed personal information of over 40,000 people including Social Security numbers and medical records.

A woman named Wika announces her engagement to an AI chatbot sparking worldwide debate about virtual relationships and technology.

The notorious people search site National Public Data relaunches despite a previous breach affecting 3 billion individuals, raising fresh privacy concerns.

Revolutionary TRAUMAGEL gel controls life-threatening bleeding from gunshot wounds and traumatic injuries, helping first responders prevent prehospital deaths.

Gaining a Child?s Trust

Parenting