Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult and complex process. Let intuition be your guide, knowing when and how to ask the right questions. Here are 7 steps to get you started:
1. Narrow the Problem.
By the time a family member or teacher steps in to help an underachieving child, it may be months or years since problems may have first appeared. It can be extremely difficult sorting out the source of difficulties, and what problems (depression, anxiety, apathy) are primary or secondary. Nevertheless, narrowing the problem is often the most first step in finding specific answers to underachievement, and realize it may take some time. Look for patterns in certain subjects, assignments, homework, or teachers. Are there more problems taking information in or getting it out? Did things get more complicated in middle school or when classroom expectations increased? Could there be a 'silent' learning disability? Could your child be overscheduled? Are problems related to subject areas like reading, writing, or listening?
2. Identify Strengths.
Realize the importance of strengths in designing solutions. Children need to feel good enough about themselves to have the mental energy to tackle school frustrations. Underachieving children often they have no strengths and they may even have existential depression. Also learning strengths should tell you the best routes for overcoming learning or performance 'blocks'. Look for strengths in personal or hands-on learning, language, or the visual arts. Problem solve best memory routes and styles of expression.
3. Share Your Stories.
Realize that you are probably a powerful role model. Share your realistic stories about learning difficulties, personal obstacles, and discuss what you continue to grapple with. Be aware that underachieving children easily succumb to 'catastrophism'. Encourage them, and give them perspective.
4. Commit to a Change.
Most children are already exhausted and defeated by the time you try to work with them. Encourage them to commit to a change and start small. The answers will be found by problem solving, and encourage them to celebrate every small bit of progress as it arrives.
5. Don't Forget Your Parachute.
Encourage realism and don't expect all your changes to work the first time. Underachieving children often need some aggressive accommodations (reduced work load, assistive technology, adjusted deadlines) at first to allow them to develop and become efficient with new styles of processing information or expressing ideas. Don't forget to take breaks and to enlist the cooperation of teachers as you devise a plan for overcoming your child's underachievement.
6. Adopt a Team Approach to Problem-Solving.
Partner with your child problem solving situations and crises. Let your child express her worries and desires. Develop a plan that seems sensible to you both, and then push forward.
7. Remember the Big Picture.
Realize that many of the anxieties of underachievement come from personal fears of futility and catastrophe. Fears about time running out and bleak futures need to be confronted and carted out to the waste bin. What you need to do is focus on the present, plan sensible changes, allow time to see their effects, and adjust plans accordingly. Constantly redirect the focus on the big picture - how can we help make them more happy, reduce their frustrations, accentuate their talents, and prepare them for their future.
About the Authors: Brock and Fernette Eide are physicians and consultants to a wide range of parent, teacher, and clinical groups seeking more information about learning and brain-based solutions. Together they have authored more than 50 articles and they speak internationally for keynote lectures, seminars, and small groups. The Eides have a free Neurolearning Newsletter and can be contacted through their website at: http://www.neurolearning.com or by email at: http://www.neurolearning.com or http://www.neurolearning.com.
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
Parenting |