Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult and complex process. Let intuition be your guide, knowing when and how to ask the right questions. Here are 7 steps to get you started:
1. Narrow the Problem.
By the time a family member or teacher steps in to help an underachieving child, it may be months or years since problems may have first appeared. It can be extremely difficult sorting out the source of difficulties, and what problems (depression, anxiety, apathy) are primary or secondary. Nevertheless, narrowing the problem is often the most first step in finding specific answers to underachievement, and realize it may take some time. Look for patterns in certain subjects, assignments, homework, or teachers. Are there more problems taking information in or getting it out? Did things get more complicated in middle school or when classroom expectations increased? Could there be a 'silent' learning disability? Could your child be overscheduled? Are problems related to subject areas like reading, writing, or listening?
2. Identify Strengths.
Realize the importance of strengths in designing solutions. Children need to feel good enough about themselves to have the mental energy to tackle school frustrations. Underachieving children often they have no strengths and they may even have existential depression. Also learning strengths should tell you the best routes for overcoming learning or performance 'blocks'. Look for strengths in personal or hands-on learning, language, or the visual arts. Problem solve best memory routes and styles of expression.
3. Share Your Stories.
Realize that you are probably a powerful role model. Share your realistic stories about learning difficulties, personal obstacles, and discuss what you continue to grapple with. Be aware that underachieving children easily succumb to 'catastrophism'. Encourage them, and give them perspective.
4. Commit to a Change.
Most children are already exhausted and defeated by the time you try to work with them. Encourage them to commit to a change and start small. The answers will be found by problem solving, and encourage them to celebrate every small bit of progress as it arrives.
5. Don't Forget Your Parachute.
Encourage realism and don't expect all your changes to work the first time. Underachieving children often need some aggressive accommodations (reduced work load, assistive technology, adjusted deadlines) at first to allow them to develop and become efficient with new styles of processing information or expressing ideas. Don't forget to take breaks and to enlist the cooperation of teachers as you devise a plan for overcoming your child's underachievement.
6. Adopt a Team Approach to Problem-Solving.
Partner with your child problem solving situations and crises. Let your child express her worries and desires. Develop a plan that seems sensible to you both, and then push forward.
7. Remember the Big Picture.
Realize that many of the anxieties of underachievement come from personal fears of futility and catastrophe. Fears about time running out and bleak futures need to be confronted and carted out to the waste bin. What you need to do is focus on the present, plan sensible changes, allow time to see their effects, and adjust plans accordingly. Constantly redirect the focus on the big picture - how can we help make them more happy, reduce their frustrations, accentuate their talents, and prepare them for their future.
About the Authors: Brock and Fernette Eide are physicians and consultants to a wide range of parent, teacher, and clinical groups seeking more information about learning and brain-based solutions. Together they have authored more than 50 articles and they speak internationally for keynote lectures, seminars, and small groups. The Eides have a free Neurolearning Newsletter and can be contacted through their website at: http://www.neurolearning.com or by email at: http://www.neurolearning.com or http://www.neurolearning.com.
car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareHave you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
Our children are our most important legacy to the world.... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More
Granger limo Chicago ..Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Parenting |