Search for Assurance: The Power of Belonging
The job hunt is on, as is the quest to find another great preschool and neighborhood to be part of. After feeling out of place, hearing over and over that an item I'm searching for is not available, or a pretty basic procedure I thought I had a grasp of is "done differently here. You must be from overseas," I'm really glad to be back.
It's as I suspected-we each have a checklist of things we rely on to assure us that all is okay. For my elderly aunt, reciting the family tree mentally anchors her in the family, and strengthens her sense of belonging to it. I never understood before, but she has actually memorized the biographical details of most of the family members. She orients herself by acknowledging aloud who's married to whom, who's building, and how many children they have, where they graduated from, and the names of all of the grandchildren. I used to search for mention of myself in this Roll Call of Impressive Achievers. This year, I decided that establishing my own checklist of anchoring events was more important to me than being named on someone else's. I started by writing and compiling a book with my daughter.
Another important step in my ongoing orientation was hearing the words "Welcome Home" when we cleared customs on our way back to Massachusetts. It was hearing the airline pilot comment on seeing my Red Sox cap the night we flew in: "They won the World Series, you know." I don't follow baseball, football or any team sport for that matter, but at the moment I cherished the sense of belonging conferred by my symbolically significant headgear.
That sense of belonging is especially important during childhood. It meant the world when my friends and I were choosing teams. I always dreaded being the last one picked, because it made me feel like I had no enviable skill in throwing, catching or running, and therefore nothing that either team really coveted to ensure its victory. Truth is, I didn't have any such skill, but that didn't curb my wanting to be a part of things. Everyone likes to belong, whether it be as part of a family, part of a culture, or as everyone in Boston can tell you, part of a winning team.
But back to the search, the beauty of it is simply having something to choose from. Not lots of products and services, but endless variations on each, and always an emphasis on the consumer's convenience. I've been to the mall three times, and always leave in a state of amazement. Part of that is mall-induced exhaustion, but it also comes from feeling overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the structure.
For the first time in months, I am not apologetic about being a foreigner, nor am I fearful of ridicule for being an American. It's good to be home, and back to a search mode I can look forward to.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
copyright little-turnips.com 2003-2005. All rights reserved.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
best cleaning company Highland Park ..It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More
So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
Parenting |