Search for Assurance: The Power of Belonging
The job hunt is on, as is the quest to find another great preschool and neighborhood to be part of. After feeling out of place, hearing over and over that an item I'm searching for is not available, or a pretty basic procedure I thought I had a grasp of is "done differently here. You must be from overseas," I'm really glad to be back.
It's as I suspected-we each have a checklist of things we rely on to assure us that all is okay. For my elderly aunt, reciting the family tree mentally anchors her in the family, and strengthens her sense of belonging to it. I never understood before, but she has actually memorized the biographical details of most of the family members. She orients herself by acknowledging aloud who's married to whom, who's building, and how many children they have, where they graduated from, and the names of all of the grandchildren. I used to search for mention of myself in this Roll Call of Impressive Achievers. This year, I decided that establishing my own checklist of anchoring events was more important to me than being named on someone else's. I started by writing and compiling a book with my daughter.
Another important step in my ongoing orientation was hearing the words "Welcome Home" when we cleared customs on our way back to Massachusetts. It was hearing the airline pilot comment on seeing my Red Sox cap the night we flew in: "They won the World Series, you know." I don't follow baseball, football or any team sport for that matter, but at the moment I cherished the sense of belonging conferred by my symbolically significant headgear.
That sense of belonging is especially important during childhood. It meant the world when my friends and I were choosing teams. I always dreaded being the last one picked, because it made me feel like I had no enviable skill in throwing, catching or running, and therefore nothing that either team really coveted to ensure its victory. Truth is, I didn't have any such skill, but that didn't curb my wanting to be a part of things. Everyone likes to belong, whether it be as part of a family, part of a culture, or as everyone in Boston can tell you, part of a winning team.
But back to the search, the beauty of it is simply having something to choose from. Not lots of products and services, but endless variations on each, and always an emphasis on the consumer's convenience. I've been to the mall three times, and always leave in a state of amazement. Part of that is mall-induced exhaustion, but it also comes from feeling overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the structure.
For the first time in months, I am not apologetic about being a foreigner, nor am I fearful of ridicule for being an American. It's good to be home, and back to a search mode I can look forward to.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
copyright little-turnips.com 2003-2005. All rights reserved.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
tidy up service Northbrook ..One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Parenting |