"Not another meeting!"
That tends to be the reaction from many parents when they hear the M word mentioned. Parents tend to associate meetings with the workplace rather than families. Even at work, meetings tend to be tolerated rather than keenly anticipated.
My research and my anecdotal evidence suggest that families that have a process to share decisions and to resolve conflict have more cooperative kids and less open sibling disputes. To be truthful, I stopped talking about family meetings in my presentations some years ago as people's eyes tended to glaze over when I mentioned the M word.
But I am now 'talking up' the concept as many parents I have worked with in the past have remarked how useful they were in turning their families around from Me-centred to We-centred groups.
Family meetings are a useful way of unifying a family and developing a shared approach to its organization. They are based on the management principle that children like a say in how their family operates and that they are more likely to stick to rules and decisions that they have had a say in making rather than those imposed from above. In many ways, this is stating the bleeding obvious but we need a process to make this happen. That is where family meetings come in.
Following are ten basic keys for conducting family meetings:
1. They must be regular. Weekly or fortnightly meetings are ideal. If a parent calls a meeting when he or she wants then meetings just become a vehicle for mum or dad to get their point across rather than a means for children to participate in family-life.
2. Start when at least one child is five years of age. Children need the verbal and cognitive skills to participate. This varies but maybe around five years of age seems to be a good age to start.
3. Have an agenda. All good meetings need a chairperson and an agenda. Meetings are usually for one or more of four purposes:
a) Plan for family fun
b) Allocation of chores
c) Resolving conflicts between people
d) Discussion of family issues, procedures and routines. Parents need to be the initial chairperson but share the job around as children become more skilled.
4. Avoid overloading the agenda. You don't have to slavishly work through all these areas. Two or three items may be enough and avoid the meeting from becoming a whinge session.
5. Have a talk sock. Have an object such as a sock or doll that the children must hold if they are going to speak, which teaches them how to take turns. The speaker, whether adult or child, must be holding the special talk sock.
6. Start each meeting with encouragement. Parents can model this initially by saying things like, "Thanks Marta for cleaning your toys away after playing with them this week. It was great have the family room so clean." This helps set a positive tone and teaches kids how to encourage.
7. Finish with a pleasant activity. A concluding game or a story will help reinforce a meeting as an event to anticipate.
8. They must be real. While meetings should be fun they are not a game you play with kids. You must be able to live with decisions that are made so you must be realistic about what is discussed and decided upon.
9. Short and sharp, not long and dull. Don't allow them to become bogged down. Keep moving them along. I know some meetings that have only gone for eight or nine minutes, but that's fine if objectives were met.
10. It is the process that is important. Sometimes meetings break down and decisions aren't made as they have descended into chaos. That happens but don't abandon the concept if nothing concrete comes of a meeting or two. It is the process of meeting and talking rather than the outcomes that are important.
Regular family meetings are a powerful means of improving relationships and building cooperation between parents and children. They provide the means for children to share and accept responsibility, participate fully in family-life and work cooperatively for the benefit of the group ? their family.
Michael Grose http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parent educator. The author of six books for parents, Michael gives over 100 presentations a year to parents in the corporate, community and education sectors. His website http://www.parentingideas.com.au is full of fresh ideas to help parents raise happy kids and resilient teenagers.
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Reading is the most important skill that a child must... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Parenting |