We all want to comfort our children after they suffer any kind of failure or disappointment. It's only natural. But the best parents I've met have resisted the urge to "make it all better."
Instead, they ask a simple question: "What happened?"
The question is asked kindly and respectfully, but the intention is clear: to help the child understand why she didn't reach her goal. Where did she go wrong? Was she unprepared? Did she not work hard enough? Or is her talent simply in another area?
This kind of questioning may seem rather sophisticated for a young child, but will teach an important lesson: failure can be viewed as a springboard to improvement, not as a dead-end or a reason for self-pity.
Would most parents like to provide a disappointment-free life for their kids? Probably. But stop and think for a moment: Is that realistic? Do you know anyone who has not had to confront disappointment or failure? Given that reality, don't we do our kids a greater kindness when we support them in learning from disappointment than when we try to shield them from it entirely?
Parents who react to their children's failures in this manner provide skills that will last a lifetime. In other words, they raise people who are able to recognize their own competence -- and never give up!
###
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement which is now available on Amazon.com
For more information about 'The Four Foundations' please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"...because you're not raising a child - you're raising a future adult"
limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareMy son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More
Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
taxi o'hare Auburn ..We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
Parenting |