Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted cookie while I was carrying him out of the bakery. I asked him, "Can you give mommy a bite?" He leaned over and gently bit me on the cheek.

Kids take things so literally. What misconceptions and concerns might your child have about their working parent?

An in-depth study was done through the Families and Work Institute, to find out what children want from their working parents. Wouldn't you think the study would show that kids want more time with working parents above all else? Surprise. They want their working parents to be less stressed. That's right. Less stressed. It makes sense. Doesn't it? Think of how you feel after spending time with stressed-out people.

Balancing the needs of work and family isn't easy. It takes skill, planning, and a lot of positive communication. Even then, it's easy to get stressed by time constraints and conflicting demands, especially around the holidays.

Try asking your kids these eight questions. Their answers might surprise you.

* Where do I work?
* What do you suppose I do at work?
* Why do you think I go to work?
* What would it be like if I didn't work?
* What do you like about me going to work?
* What's the hardest part for you about me going to work?
* In what ways would you like things to be different?
* How do you suppose I feel about working?

Your family life will be enriched when you open communication by letting kids express their thoughts and ideas. Read the do's and don'ts to prepare for an eye-opening conversation.

- Don't insist on asking every question in one sitting. Continue as long as your child is interested in the conversation.

- Expect the unexpected. You may be delighted by some of your child's thoughts and dismayed by others. Five-year-old, Bryan, told his dad with complete sincerity, "I think you go to work so you can be with friends your own age."

- See your child's negative responses as feedback to consider, instead of criticism.

- Don't shut down communication, when you don't like what you hear. Allowing your kids to fully express themselves will strengthen your relationship. Let them feel comfortable sharing their thoughts with you, even the scary or angry ones. Don't make your kids fear your reaction.

- Acknowledge your child's feelings. Suppose she says, "I think you go to work because you don't like to be with me." Resist the urge to cut her off with, "You know that's not true!" Be helpful by saying, "I didn't know you felt that way. Would you like to know how I feel about it? . . ."

- Focus on listening more than you talk. It's easy for me to talk on and on about what I'm passionate about. What I've found is, the more I talk, the less my kids listen. They tune me out. Don't overwhelm kids with too much information. Give brief and age appropriate responses.

- Encourage kids to guess when they aren't sure how to answer a question. It takes the pressure off and makes the questions more playful.

- There isn't always a quick fix to resolving conflict. When kids feel insecure or unhappy about family issues, don't expect one conversation to clear everything up. It takes time for kids and adults to break out of old habits of thinking.

- If you are a stay-at-home parent, shed a positive light on the parent who works outside the home. I still remember the warm feelings I had when my mom would say, "Your daddy works so hard for his family." Parents, whether married or divorced, working outside or inside the home, will reduce tension by showing appreciation for the positives of the other parent.

- The question, "What would it be like if I didn't work?" may reveal your child's favorite things to do. If she answers, "We would sing songs or play make-believe or read books," you can sprinkle those activities into the time you have at home.

- Help kids understand that working is another way of taking care of them by providing financial support. It can be a model for achieving a sense of fulfillment and contribution to society. Don't create fear around the need to work. Instead focus on the needs it meets.

- When your child shares feelings of hardship with having a working parent, show compassion not pity. Pity makes a child feel pitiful and feeds their insecurities. Talk about how the child wishes things could be. Possibly make changes to ease the hard parts for them and for yourself.

- Follow up the discussion with a visit to your workplace. If that's not possible, show your child a picture of your workplace, or paint a picture with your words so they can imagine where you are when you aren't home. This creates security for kids, replacing fear of the unknown with a positive image.

Tensions are reduced when kids and parents share their thoughts and ideas. Balancing work and family is tricky business, and well worth the efforts.

Marilyn Suttle shows you how to create satisfying work and family relationships, increase self esteem and self care. Marilyn shares delightful stories filled with useful skills and principles. She has presented programs to corporations both large and small, including Fortune 500 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Visteon Corporation, and Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. She delivers programs that enlighten, entertain and empower.Email her at marilyn@suttleonline.net. Subscribe to her Free monthly e-newsletter by visiting her web site: WWW.SuttleOnline.NET.

executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car
In The News:

Getting virus alerts on your iPhone? Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to handle fake scam alerts and boost security.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says opening emails is safe, but risks arise from interacting with links, attachments or HTML content.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals four signs of compromised Social Security numbers and offers five steps to protect yourself.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how MAB Robotics' Honey Badger 4.0, a versatile robot, now walks underwater with amphibious skills.
An updated Android trojan called FakeCall hijacks bank calls. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Android phone manufacturers and Google need to step up their game on security.
The Massimo Modular E9 is a sleek, smart and comfy tiny home in 409 square feet. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson takes a closer look at what the future of housing might look like.
Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.
Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.
A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.
Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.
Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.
Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.
Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.
Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.
More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.
UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.
Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.

Some Good News About Blended Families

They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More

Parenting Your Adolescent: 3 Powerful Steps to Being an In-Charge Parent

Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More

How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games -- A Guide for Parents and Teachers

A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More

Parents of Teens: Do You Ever Ask WHY is she so MEAN to me?

Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More

Building Self Confidence

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More

Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy

You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More

What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?

We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More

7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer

Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More

Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score

Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More

How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child

One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More

What Do Chinese Water Torture and Arguing with Children Have in Common?

Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More

Kids, Chores & More

Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More

Parental Internet Control Tips

The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More

Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!

I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More

Breastfeed a Toddler - Why?

Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More

Quality Time?

There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More

Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?

Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More

Child ADHD - Deciding Where to Draw the Line

The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More

Homeschooling ? Is It Worth It?

Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More

Film Industry and Our Youth

In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More

What Makes a Good Evaluation for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More

Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane

Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More

Are You Too Busy for Your Kids?

In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More

O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..