Paula's last child had just gone off to college and Paula was struggling with a deep inner emptiness. While she knew this day was coming, she was not really prepared for the intense hollowness that welled up within. After all, she had a life of her own. Her work as an occupational therapist, which she had gone back to after all her three children were in school, was fulfilling to her. She was fortunate in having been able to schedule her time to be home when her children came home from school so she could take them to their various activities. Paula had been a loving and devoted mother and was very proud of her children. She had been looking forward to this time for herself and her husband, but now that it was here, Paula felt lost.
It's not that she didn't have things she loved to do. She was a talented and athletic woman and had many creative and physical activities that she enjoyed. She and her husband had a good relationship with a wide circle of friends they often spent social time with. So, why this emptiness?
Paula sought my help when she realized that she was slipping into depression.
"I just can't figure out what's wrong," she stated in our first session together. "My marriage is fine, my work is fine, I have lots of friends and activities I enjoy. I don't understand why I'm feeling so unhappy."
I asked Paula to tune inside to the unhappy part of her and let this part of her speak. "Imagine that the unhappy part of you is a child within. There is some very good reason this inner child is feeling so unhappy, and you need to ask her. Start out with asking her how she feels about you as the inner parent."
Paula asked and was quite surprised at the answer. "You never want to know how I feel," her inner child complained. "You always wanted to know how the children felt, and you were always there for their feelings, but not for mine. You spend your time in ways you think make us happy, but you never ask me about it. While the kids were growing up, you were able to ignore my sadness, but you can't ignore me anymore. I'm here, and I need you to pay attention to me."
"I don't get this," said Paula, "What does this unhappy part of me want me to do?"
"Ask her," I stated.
Paula asked and the answer came. "Our work and all our activities are fine, but I need something deeper. I've been wanting you to open to something spiritual, but you haven't listened to me."
"I have tried going back to church, but that doesn't seem to be doing it for me. This does seem to be some kind of spiritual emptiness, but I don't know what to do about it."
Paula had never taken the time to develop a personal relationship with God. While she believed in a Higher Power, it was something "out there", not something she connected with and brought into her heart and soul. Her soul was missing the sense of deep connection and inner fullness that comes from having a personal relationship with a spirit source of love and guidance, as well as with her own inner feelings. While her children were filling this empty space, she didn't deal with it, but now that they were gone, it was time to face the emptiness that had always been there but had been covered up with mothering.
I asked Paula to close her eyes and imagine a wise and loving spiritual being, perhaps her own highest self, perhaps a relative who had died that she loved, perhaps a religious figure she felt connected with, or an image of a teacher, mentor, or guardian angel. She was able to imagine an angelic Presence that made her feel very loved and safe.
"Now bring the love from this Presence into your heart and then down into the empty place within. Imagine that you are loving the child within in the same way you have loved your children, hearing your inner child's feelings and needs in the same way you did with your children. If you also open to learning with this Presence about what is loving to your inner child, and then take the loving action for yourself, you will start to fill that emptiness within you. Are you willing to try this?"
Paula was very willing to learn to create the deeper connection with Self and with Spirit. She reported to me a few weeks later that she was no longer feeling depressed. Her "empty nest" was now being filled with her inner and spiritual connection.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or http://www.innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
no-contract cleaning service Mundelein ..Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
Along with eating healthier we need to be more active.... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
maid service near Glenview ..Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
Parenting |