Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?

Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and attending our local high school, the next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is sometimes very difficult to comprehend.

"Where did I go wrong?" "Didn't I talk enough with my child?" "I thought he knew better..." "I assumed he was just at a friend's house..."

These, and various other queries, are all similar questions parents tend to ask themselves after an incident or accident involving DUI or DWI (Driving Under the Influence, or Driving While Intoxicated).

According to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) and the NIAAA (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism),

  • Parents' drinking behavior and favorable attitudes about drinking have been positively associated with adolescents' initiating and continued drinking. (NIAAA, 1997)
  • Youth who drink before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21. (NIAAA, 1997)
  • Underage drinkers are responsible for between 10 and 20 percent of all alcohol consumed in the United States. (NAS, 2003)
  • In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to 20-year-old drivers killed in motor vehicle crashes had been drinking. Twenty-four percent were intoxicated.
  • Research continues to show that young drivers between 15 and 20 years old are more often involved in alcohol-related crashes than any other comparable age group. Alcohol-crash involvement rates, share of the alcohol-crash problem and alcohol-crash risk all reach their peaks with young drivers, with the peaks for fatal crashes occurring at age 21. (NHTSA, 2001)
  • Based on the latest mortality data available, motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for people from 15 to 20 years old. (NHTSA, 2003)

Of course, statistically speaking, the list could go on and on. All too often, we as parents get caught up in the daily grind of work, household chores, and other engagements. Sometimes we forget how to prioritize our committments. Ironically though, it is our teenage children who suffer from our own strategies on making their lives more comfortable.

John J. Berrio wrote a shocking but enlightening, infamous piece on teenage vehicular-related death based on a friend's son:

Only 17

Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic. When I first got here I felt very much alone. I was overwhelmed by grief, and I expected to find sympathy.

I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands of others whose bodies were as badly mangled as mine. I was given a number and placed in a category. The category was called "Traffic Fatalities."

The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken the bus! But I was too cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive." When the 2:50 p.m. bell rang, I threw my books in the locker ... free until tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a car and being my own boss.

It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast, taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and having fun. The last thing I remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard a crash and felt a terrific jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream.

Suddenly, I awakened. It was very quiet. A police officer was standing over me. I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything. Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head. I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to have a wonderful life ahead of me. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead.

Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks came to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly looked very old. He told the man in charge, "Yes, he's our son."

The funeral was weird. I saw all my relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as they walked by.

Please, somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here. I can't bear to see Mom and Dad in such pain. My grandparents are so weak from grief they can barely walk. My brother and sister are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze. Everybody. No one can believe this. I can't believe it, either.

Please, don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put me in the ground! I promise if you give me just one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. All I want is one more chance. Please, God, I'm only 17.

By John Berrio _____________________________________________________________

This well-known story has been circulated across the globe. Also known as "Dead at 17," and "Please God, I'm Only 17" is a stanching piece that has hailed teenagers and parents alike.

As a ritual, this literature is ground into the core of my thought processes. Not too long ago, we were all faced with enticements of "...let's go to that party...", "...come, on...it's only a few miles up the road. He's not drunk...he's only had a few beers...." "Sure she can drive...she's done this a million times before..." And all too often, teenagers fall to peer pressure because they want to be cool, popular or part of the "in-crowd." Sadly, many do become victims of psychological pressure tactics.

There is not a week that goes by that I don't think of "Only 17." Being a mother of two teenage kids, the thought is a constant in my mind. As a parent, it is imperative that we adamantly involve ourselves in our childrens' lives. I'm not saying that we become overbearing and intrusive, but we must demand intolerance of drinking and driving. While most teenagers will experience with alcohol at some point in their growing-up years, we have to learn to expect it. It is not a question of if, it's a matter of when.

And like all parents, we don't want to accept the fact that our child or children would engage in sometimes-lethal behavior. But it can happen to the best of families. Drinking and driving doesn't simply effect a certain stereotypical group of persons - it doesn't have a preference of social, economical, racial, geographical, and sexual lines. No, peer pressure is out there, and if you're not paying attention and interactively pursuing the matter, your child could become a statistic.

One of my beliefs is to continuously talk with my children about drinking. I wasn't born yesterday, so I know that alcohol is waiting at the ready. What do I do about it? For starters, I have ritually engrained the fact that drinking and driving kills. Period. Since they were old enough to understand the principles of drinking and driving, I have made it a point to "be there" for my kids. You see, one of the biggest problems with teenagers is that if you isolate them with negative communication, it can virtually destroy any attempt of "keeping them safe."

A encouraging opening line to your teenager might be, "...although I don't condone drinking, please call me - no matter where you are, no matter what time it is, whether you're drunk or not, or if you're somewhere you weren't supposed to be. I'll come and pick you up. It's not cool to get into a car with someone who's been drinking - ever. I promise not to be angry with you. I'd rather you come home alive than dead."

This is something that I say to my own teenagers - every chance I get. And with a season of holidays upon us, it is even more vital that we communicate with our kids. Holiday statistics show that there is, on average, a nearly 50% overall chance of a traffic-related fatality. What unnecassary risks are we willing to take? Not only is talking with our children crucial, it is important to stay involved in our childrens' lives. Knowing where your child is - is NOT intrusive. Knowing what your child is doing - is NOT intrusive.

Set guidelines for your teenagers. We can't protect them from everything - that's a fact of life. There are just some things that we can't do as parents - but what we can do is become active participants in their lives. Just as we support our children at athletic events like football games, cheerleading sessions, field and track, (just to name a few), we can support our teenagers from the sidelines...giving them impromptu examples on how to be successful, and how to lead life in a fun but responsible manner.

Here are some tips at developing open communication lines with your teenagers:

1. Cell phones are valuable assets in keeping up with your kids. Make sure you allow them to use them if going "out to a friend's house..." or "party." Cell phones give kids a sense of responsibility and most often, they will use them to phone you if they're caught in a desperate situation.

2. Keep negative thoughts to yourself. We may not like the fact that our kids might drink; we might even be boiling over with anger - but if they do drink, don't slam them for it. The next time, they may not call you.

3. Access. If you know that there might be a possibility of drinking, talk to your teenagers. Don't assume that Billy-down-the-street who comes from a "good" family won't be offering liquor or beer. Reiterate your position on drinking in a positive declaration, but at the same time, reinforce your availability to them. This could be a make-or-break life, preserving decision on your part.

4. Resolve. When we acknowledge the fact that kids may drink alcoholic beverages, we aren't so shocked and disturbed when it does occur. The number 1 rule for combatting drinking and driving issues is to stay informed, stay alert and never assume anything. We were all teenagers once and we know how quickly events can change for the better or worse. It's up to us as parents to instill proper attitudes about drinking and driving so to prevent alcohol-related traffic fatalities.

In closing, I encourage folks to let their children read, "Only 17." It is, by far, the most impressive piece of literature of our time. If you don't know how to talk to your children, seek private counsel so you can. Our youth is the vital component our existence - they are, afterall our leaders of tomorrow. Invest in them today by being an integral part of their lives.

?2004 - All Rights Reserved.

References:

  • MADD Online Youth Statistic(www.madd.org/stats/1,1056,1807,00.html)
  • Only 17 from snopes.com
  • C. Bailey-Lloyd
    aka. LadyCamelot
    Public Relations' Director & Staff Writer for holistic junction - Your Source for information on Holistic Health, holistic junction, Holistic Practitioners, holistic junction, Insightful literature and more!

    best cleaning company Highland Park ..
    In The News:

    MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.
    The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.
    Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.
    The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
    ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.
    Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.
    Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.
    Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.
    Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.
    Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.
    Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.
    Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.
    Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.
    New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.
    A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.
    AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.
    A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.
    New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.
    The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
    Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.
    Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.
    Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.
    Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.
    Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.
    Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Understanding The Report

"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More

Introduction to the Medications Used in the Treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder

There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More

Parenting Your Adolescent: 3 Powerful Steps to Being an In-Charge Parent

Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More

How Much Water are You Wasting?

Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More

Picky Eater Kid Nutritional Guidelines

Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More

10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child

There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More

Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion

Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More

Creating Great Birthday Party Videos

My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More

The Classic ADHD Child Reminds Me of Tigger

ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More

Navigating in the New World: Parents and Teenagers Growing Together

One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More

Parenting Univeristy: Potty Training 101

When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More

Its OK to Say No

In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More

Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet

The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More

Marriage, Divorce, and Kids

Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More

25 Things That Matter When Relating To Our Children (Leaving A Legacy Of Love To Those We Love)

In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More

7 Ways to Survive the Start of the School Year

It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Growing Good People

At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More

A Little Love, Please?

Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Self-Decorating or Self-Harm - How to Tell the Difference

Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More

high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..