Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.
Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again.
He promises he will never ever touch another child inappropriately and you want to believe him. Should you believe him? Probably not.
Perhaps abuse will occur just once with a certain child, but most pedophiles will just cast their eye for a more amiable victim. It is usually not the first time the molester has done this. Nor will it be the last time, even if the child convinces the molester to leave him or her alone. Offenders who have been caught tell researchers that nobody does it just once.
This is a compulsive act which stems from compulsive thought patterns. Pedophiles have repetitive sexual fantasies involving children usually in one age group or gender. Some may be able to contain those fantasies and thought patterns and not act upon them. and they do not become offenders. The perpetrator feels compelled to abuse on a regular basis, especially when things are not going well in their life, or they are under stress. Most offenders abuse more than one hundred times before they are caught. Many will re-offend after serving their time in custody.
Sex abusers will continue the same sick patterns until they are physically stopped or the fear of intervention on the part of the molester becomes very evident. They may be abusing or grooming more than one child at the same time. For instance, if a teacher is caught and arrested for molesting a student in his/her classroom, the chances are high that they have tried to molest others in the class and other classes they have taught.
It is the same for those who commit incest: very rarely is it just one victim. The molestations sometimes continue for months or years starting first with a good touch such as backrubs or tickling. But then it escalates into a touch that is inappropriate. The relationship is usually broken off only when it is discovered accidentally or when a child tells an adult who believes them.
Unfortunately, parents or other adults often think the child is lying, particularly if the abuser is someone familiar to the family or a member of the family. It is a rare exception for a child to make up stories about having been sexually abused. Due to lack of understanding, many parents may blame and shame the victim, especially if the abuse has gone on for some time.
It is not the child's fault! As a caring adult and the protector or your child and others who might have been affected and most certainly will, if the offender is not stopped, you must tell the proper authorities. It is important to your child that they see that you will believe them and act on their word. It is also important to the community that the sexual abuse, no matter how seemingly innocent the offender may try to make it out, is documented. Pick up the phone now and call the police; they will give you and your child guidance and support.
? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
rental limo Atlanta .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareThank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More
Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Bedford Park taxi to Midway ..Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More
When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
Parenting |