Disciplining the Wild Child

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may be for you. Do you just blow up when you can't take it any more? Then this article is definitely for you.

Abuse victims, when they become parents, are handicapped in two ways. One, they have no clue how to give good discipline because they never saw it done. A parent who knows how does not resort to abuse. Or, I should say, a parent who knows how deep in his/her bones, not just intellectually, does not need to resort to abuse. So if you were beaten, humiliated, yelled at, ignored, neglected, abandoned, criticized, or any of the hundred other ways of being abused, you never saw good discipline in action. So you just don't know what it looks like.

Now, suppose you take a parenting course. Here's handicap #2. Even when you learn--intellectually--what it is, many parents who have been abused have a gut-level abhorence of anything that remotely looks like violence. Any form of discipline that is perfectly "kosher" may look to an abuse victim like something harsh, mean, and hateful. And those parents just can't seem to put it into action. That's when the leniency paves the way for the very abuse they don't ever want to be guity of doing: Because they have failed to discipline their child, the child, of course, gets out of hand, eventually. That's what normal children do, if unstopped. So then, these sweet, lovely parents who couldn't bring themselves to discipline their child lash out at them angrily. And they actually feel justified! "I've had enough!" They exclaim.

Well, that's true, but whose fault is that? You've had enough because you didn't nip it in the bud with proper discipline. Now you criticize or yell or hit or whatever and actually think that the child is "bad." Hey, that's exactly the mistake your parents might have made. So if this sounds like you, don't confuse proper discipline with abuse. Start the discipline and then you won't have to blow up.

For example, I once worked with a family in which the mother felt so guilty about a remarriage and so abhorent of abuse because of the abuse she had received that she also never would discipline that child. Until one day she discovered that, at 14, her daughter was sneaking out the window at night to go party. Then, as you can imagine, she lost it.

If you're not clear what discipline is, read the article on it. click here. But don't run away from it or it'll only get worse.

Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
Marriage and Family Therapist
click here

green cleaning service Park Ridge ..
In The News:

A groundbreaking new study has uncovered disturbing AI blackmail behavior that many people are unaware of yet.
Four teams of autonomous humanoid robots competed in China's first AI soccer tournament, demonstrating advanced capabilities in ball detection and independent decision-making.
The ID. Buzz autonomous van features self-driving technology with 13 cameras, nine LiDAR units and five radars after Volkswagen partnered with Hamburg and Uber for 2026 deployments.
Social Security phishing scams use urgency and impersonation to steal personal data. Learn how to spot fake SSA emails and implement 10 protective measures.
French startup Pazzi Robotics created an AI-powered pizza robot that made pies in under five minutes without human help, but it closed in 2022 despite patents and expert partnerships.
Reclaim your time from big tech with effective screen time reduction strategies for iPhone and Android, featuring steps to limit app usage and create phone-free zones.
Amazon Prime Day shoppers face threats from 120,000-plus scam websites as cybercriminals prepare phishing traps and malware ahead of the July sales event.
Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.
The AEON humanoid robot tackles labor challenges with Nvidia AI, Microsoft Azure cloud and advanced spatial awareness, working alongside industry leaders Schaeffler and Pilatus.
Google's Ask Photos feature brings AI-powered searches to your photo library, letting you find memories with natural language queries while maintaining privacy controls.
The return of blue book exams emerges as universities fight widespread AI academic dishonesty and educators debate whether to ban AI tools or teach responsible usage.
Signs your phone might be hacked include strange behavior, unauthorized texts, battery drain and pop-ups, while protection involves updating software and avoiding public Wi-Fi.
Tokyo startup H2L has launched Capsule Interface technology enabling full-body robot control with muscle sensors, offering immersive remote operation.
The A.I. industry seems set for growing pains as Big Tech companies scramble for solutions to the medium's unprecedented strain on the power grid.
Fourth of July fireworks cause a 60% spike in lost pets, but GPS trackers and AI photo-matching services like Love Lost can help reunite missing dogs with their families.
Protect yourself from jugging, the rising crime by which thieves monitor ATM users and follow them to steal cash, with six practical safety tips to stay alert and secure.
U.S. airlines like Delta, American and United are selling your domestic flight records to government agencies through the little-known Travel Intelligence Program.
Autonomous robots from Uber Eats are rolling out across U.S. cities, featuring LIDAR sensors, secure compartments and all-weather operation for food and grocery delivery.
Costco has expanded into EV infrastructure with new ultra-fast charging stations that can charge most electric vehicles to 80% in 20-60 minutes while shoppers browse the warehouse.
The new Gemini Robotics On-Device AI allows robots to perform complex tasks without internet, offering enhanced privacy, reliability and adaptability for real-world use.
Protect yourself from Amazon phishing scams by spotting red flags like suspicious sender addresses and spelling errors while using Amazon's Message Center to verify communications.
GAC Group's new Govy AirCab flying car combines lightweight design with advanced safety systems and smart cabin technology to revolutionize city travel with an 18.6-mile range.
The Berkeley Humanoid Light (BHL) is a lightweight, open source humanoid robot that anyone can build using 3D-printed parts and off-the-shelf components.
Meta’s new AI chatbot is getting personal, and it might be sharing more than you realize.
A new threat targets both Android and iPhone users: SparkKitty, a powerful mobile malware strain that scans private photos to steal cryptocurrency recovery phrases and other sensitive data.

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

Go Ahead - Make Dads Day

Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More

How Many Sex Offenders Live On Your Block?

For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More

Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time

It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More

How to Take Charge of the TV

Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More

Tips For a First-Time Dad

So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More

What You Can Learn About Life From Your Children

You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More

The Best Gifts Ever: Life Experiences Every Child Should Have

This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More

Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More

My Best Buddy

My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students

Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More

6 Ways to Communicate Clearly with Your Teen

How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More

Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More!

Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More

Stay at Home Mom You Need to Raise Cowboys

Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!

This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More

Diaper Bags for Dads - Papas Got a Brand New Bag

Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More

emergency cleaning services Morton Grove ..