Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship with your child?

To begin, you can learn from your own father:

Whether you consider him to have been a good father or not, you can use your experience to become a better parent to YOUR children.

Patterns of behavior are often passed on unconsciously from one generation to the next. By becoming aware of those patterns in your family, you can make a conscious decision about which ones to pass on to YOUR children.

Ask yourself: what did your father do that strengthened your feeling of connection with him and made you feel loved and safe and appreciated?

Take a few minutes and think about those things. (Even if there weren't many, at least acknowledge what he did right.)

Write them down, and add to the list as you think of more.

Now here is the value of this exercise:

By doing those things yourself, you will strengthen the connection with your own child.

Did your dad have a way of greeting you that made you feel special?

Did he spend time with you? What did you do together?

Did he let you help him? Did he teach you how to do the things he did?

Think about how you can use those memories to nurture your relationship with your own child?

Now here is the tough part - (but your relationship with your child is worth looking at this):

What did your father do that pushed you away or made you feel shut out or inadequate or unloved.

I am not trying to open old wounds or cause you discomfort. I am hoping to help you avoid passing on those mistakes.

Make a list of those things as well.

Was it the way he spoke to you?

Was it that he was sometimes in a bad mood and that mood filled the whole house?

Did he discipline in a cruel way that made you feel fear or resentment?

No matter what your father did, you have the choice to follow the same pattern or to raise your children in a better way.

Look at your list.

Now think about what you can do to avoid making the same mistakes.

How can you speak to your child that will invite her rather than shut her out?

How can you create an atmosphere in your home that is welcoming and safe?

How can you discipline your child in a way that assures him that he is okay and you still love him?

You can learn from your own experience and give your child the things that you needed and did not get from your father.

Use your memories - not to be bitter and angry, but to become the best father you can be .

You now have the opportunity to create GOOD memories for YOUR child.

So how can you be the best father possible?

The answer is really simple: Just give your child the best of yourself.

Ask yourself - what do I have to share with my child?

Well here's a hint:

?your love and your time and your ideas and your unique, funny way of looking at the world and your love - oh did I say that already?

?and your wisdom - yes - you have a lot of wisdom - and your child will help you to tap into it more than you anything else in your life.

Oh, and did I say your love?

Use your love in everything you do.

Every time you talk with your child, do it in a way that is gentle and affirming - in a way that says, "I treasure you."

I am not suggesting that you let your child manipulate you or that you give into his every demand.

In fact, you do have a responsibility to set limits and provide guidance.

But today we are talking about your RELATIONSHIP - how you feel about each other and interact with each other.

You can create a relationship that is loving and safe and peaceful.

Isn't that the kind of family legacy you would like to pass on to your children and grandchildren?

Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."

For a free e-book, "How to Get the Best from Your Children," and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: http://www.feelgoodparenting.com

? 2005 Patricia Downing

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
In The News:

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.
Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.
Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.
Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.
China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries
Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.
The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.
ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.
Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.
The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.
You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.
Voice assistants may cause confusion across devices. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers some solutions to fix it.
Shameless scammers trick veterans into giving personal info or cash. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explores five common scams.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you honor our heroes with these powerful podcasts, audiobooks and documentaries this Veterans Day.

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Parents and Children Working Together

When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More

Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children

When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More

Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?

A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More

Spend Time Not Money With The Kids This Winter

Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More

7 Ways to Survive the Start of the School Year

It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More

Simple Living in a Materialistic World

We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More

Backpacks and Bullies. Is Your Child Prepared?

As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More

How To Help Your Child Learn

Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More

Why A Father Is Not A Dad

It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More

One Definition of Success

As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More

How to Raise Creative Kids

"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Responding to a Poor Progress Report in School

Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More

The Top 5 Reasons Why Unwed-Parents Must Establish Paternity

"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More

Useful Jogger Stroller Accessories

There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More

Helping Your Child Make and Keep Friends

What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More

Dexedrine, Cylert, and Adderall in the Treatment of ADHD

Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More

Personal Responsibility: What It Means and Whose Job is It?

"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

Film Industry and Our Youth

In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More

The Top 10 Tips on Hiring a Babysitter

1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More

How To Develop Your Babys Brain

Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More

Antigo wedding limo ..