Home
>
Parenting
>
Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship with your child?

To begin, you can learn from your own father:

Whether you consider him to have been a good father or not, you can use your experience to become a better parent to YOUR children.

Patterns of behavior are often passed on unconsciously from one generation to the next. By becoming aware of those patterns in your family, you can make a conscious decision about which ones to pass on to YOUR children.

Ask yourself: what did your father do that strengthened your feeling of connection with him and made you feel loved and safe and appreciated?

Take a few minutes and think about those things. (Even if there weren't many, at least acknowledge what he did right.)

Write them down, and add to the list as you think of more.

Now here is the value of this exercise:

By doing those things yourself, you will strengthen the connection with your own child.

Did your dad have a way of greeting you that made you feel special?

Did he spend time with you? What did you do together?

Did he let you help him? Did he teach you how to do the things he did?

Think about how you can use those memories to nurture your relationship with your own child?

Now here is the tough part - (but your relationship with your child is worth looking at this):

What did your father do that pushed you away or made you feel shut out or inadequate or unloved.

I am not trying to open old wounds or cause you discomfort. I am hoping to help you avoid passing on those mistakes.

Make a list of those things as well.

Was it the way he spoke to you?

Was it that he was sometimes in a bad mood and that mood filled the whole house?

Did he discipline in a cruel way that made you feel fear or resentment?

No matter what your father did, you have the choice to follow the same pattern or to raise your children in a better way.

Look at your list.

Now think about what you can do to avoid making the same mistakes.

How can you speak to your child that will invite her rather than shut her out?

How can you create an atmosphere in your home that is welcoming and safe?

How can you discipline your child in a way that assures him that he is okay and you still love him?

You can learn from your own experience and give your child the things that you needed and did not get from your father.

Use your memories - not to be bitter and angry, but to become the best father you can be .

You now have the opportunity to create GOOD memories for YOUR child.

So how can you be the best father possible?

The answer is really simple: Just give your child the best of yourself.

Ask yourself - what do I have to share with my child?

Well here's a hint:

?your love and your time and your ideas and your unique, funny way of looking at the world and your love - oh did I say that already?

?and your wisdom - yes - you have a lot of wisdom - and your child will help you to tap into it more than you anything else in your life.

Oh, and did I say your love?

Use your love in everything you do.

Every time you talk with your child, do it in a way that is gentle and affirming - in a way that says, "I treasure you."

I am not suggesting that you let your child manipulate you or that you give into his every demand.

In fact, you do have a responsibility to set limits and provide guidance.

But today we are talking about your RELATIONSHIP - how you feel about each other and interact with each other.

You can create a relationship that is loving and safe and peaceful.

Isn't that the kind of family legacy you would like to pass on to your children and grandchildren?

Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."

For a free e-book, "How to Get the Best from Your Children," and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: http://www.feelgoodparenting.com

? 2005 Patricia Downing

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

maid service near Lake Forest ..

In The News:

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Android users can now manage apps across multiple devices more easily with Google Play Store's updated remote uninstall button in the latest update.

NASA's Perseverance rover discovers shiny metallic rock on Mars that could be a meteorite from an ancient asteroid, containing high levels of iron and nickel.

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.