Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many times, however, either the children are in charge or the parents are so eager to be liked, that whatever rules and standards are talked about, few are enforced, especially on a consistent basis.

Children, whether they are two or 18, feel more confident when they know that you, the adults, are in charge and that their environment is predictable and safe. They need to be taught what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, what is appropriate, and what is rude and out of place.

Though they will get mixed or conflicting messages from the television, magazine and friends, they need you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and limits. They need to know that you expect them to do and be their best.

By providing this guidance you will help them learn how to be responsible, contributing members of society.

Consistency in discipline is the number one factor in successful families: It is important that love, respect, cooperation and expectations are unconditional.

Consistent boundaries within the family are pretty predictable; for instance:

* They will grow up knowing that mom and dad must know the 4 Ws before they are allowed to leave with friends. WHO are the friends, WHERE are they going, WHAT are they doing, and WHEN will they be home.

* A child can count on dinner being at six o'clock or there about.

* They need to know that bedtime is 8:30 on school nights and that homework is done before playtime.

But sometimes in life, opportunities come up that make boundaries and rules flexible. A relative visits from out of town, so it might be okay for the kids to stay up till 9:30 one night to enjoy the experience. Rules can bend occasionally, but if they get broken, we are all in trouble.

As long as the family knows that in general, there is a structure that they can count on and limits to what is accepted and what is not, they will flourish in a system that gives them guidelines and direction.

Consistent boundaries and standards give a child and the whole family a feeling of security and safety. It is within this environment that self-discipline and life skills begin to flourish and develop.

When we, as a community as well as a family, give consistent messages to our children concerning dangerous and unkind behavior, it will be easier for them to forgo temptation to participate. It is our responsibility as adults to help them learn and live by the basic rule that actions have consequences.

Those children who develop a habit of thinking about the connection will be in a position of strength. Their choices will be immeasurably easier to make because they have been given a framework for decision-making.

Repair or rebuild the boundary, if necessary

I encourage you to be firm, consistent and kind in your discipline. It is vital to always follow through. Don't make threats, make promises. If you take away TV privileges the first time he doesn't take out the garbage, but ignore it the second and third time, he will soon learn that you don't always mean what you say. The child will learn how to be a manipulator, and you will still have the misbehavior to deal with. You are the adult, and so it is your job to repair the fence when it is broken or stretched out.

Boundaries don't fence us in but rather they allow us freedom to grow and develop, knowing that we are safe and loved unconditionally. It is never a guessing game of what will happen but rather a sure foundation.

You can do it. I believe in you. You are doing the most important job in the world, raising self-disciplined, thoughtful and contributing children.

? Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.artichokepress.com

This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.

You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.artichokepress.com

affordable house cleaning Park Ridge ..
In The News:

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.
The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.
OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.
Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.
LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.
Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.
Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.
Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.
MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.
The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.
Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.
Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.
Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.
Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.
Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.
Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.
Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.
Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.
Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.
New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.
A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.
AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.
A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Understanding A Childs Beliefs, Nuturing Young Beliefs

Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

Relate With Your Teen And Gain Their Trust

We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More

Strong-willed Kids: Raising a Spirited Child

Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More

Meeting The True Needs of Children Diagnosed As ADHD

How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More

Ten Tips to Stimulate Your Newborns Senses

A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More

Preparing Your Child for the Three Rs

There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More

The Challenges of Single Parenting

Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More

Work Before Play

Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More

Revering the Crayon Marks

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More

Create Your Dream Family

There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More

Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education

I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More

Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower

Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More

When Your Childs Adoption Story Changes: Nothing But the Facts or is It Nothing are the Facts?

Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part III

Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More

Want To Further Your Childrens Studies?

Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More

Helpful Tips for the Adoptive Grandparent

Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

Why First Borns Fuss, Seconds Are Resilient and Last Borns Like To Laugh

How can two or three children in the same family... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More

Detox To Help Conception

Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More

affordable house cleaning Mundelein ..