Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareThere isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More
Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
Parenting |