Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
tidy up service Northbrook ..Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Well first off, please to don't institute the ? hour... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
Parenting |