Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
elite cleaning services Mundelein ..From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More
Reading is the most important skill that a child must... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Mundelein ..Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More
Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Parenting |