Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
no-contract cleaning service Glenview ..WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top... Read More
'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
If you really want to get your children to eat... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
Parenting |