Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
high-end home cleaning Morton Grove ..There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
spring cleaning service Buffalo Grove ..Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More
Parenting |