Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
bathroom cleaning service Northbrook .."Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
insured cleaning company Wilmette .."Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
Parenting |