Home
>
Parenting
>
Children are People, Not Machines

Children are People, Not Machines

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay attention to the details." That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting. While raising children, the details make great differences in development.

Being that children are people and not machines, the kind of detailing needed is different. Focusing on the externals of name brand clothing, perfect hair and having the most extensive collection of expensive toys are not the kind of attention needed. Such efforts will result in the child feeling rejected and learning to substitute material objects and appearances for love.

Children need the attention of their parents. The areas of their lives and abilities given attention will develop most. If the majority of parental attention is given to not standing correctly or not finishing tasks, these areas will develop further. In situations where habitual fault-finding occurs, the child eventually takes all that criticism inside and turns it on themselves. Such methods often lead to unmotivated children with low-self-esteem.

Many adult parents still carry emotional scars from harsh fault-finding from parents. A good common sense rule is, "If you would not let anyone talk to you like you talk to your child, you need to make some changes." Sadly, many children suffer in quiet desperation as victims of harsh treatment, that the parent justifies by telling themselves "it's for their own good," or "I only do it because I love them so much." Such displays are not experienced by the children as "love."

Children need attention given to the details of their lives. The attention they need the most is from their parents. They need encouragement in specific and tangible terms. Statements like, "It puts a smile in my heart, when you show teamwork by playing nicely with your brother" make a child beam. Find them doing good things and bring that to their attention. Identify the specific talent, how it is used and your reaction to it. Train their young minds to search for their talents with the same kind of attention to detail that may have previous been devoted to fault-finding. It also helps to identify internal or character qualities to praise rather than external appearances.

By developing these qualities, the child will always carry those qualities with them, regardless of age. Children do want to please their parents. The challenge many children face is that they often do not know what does please their parents.

Focusing on the details when children do good is important. Such an approach is detailed enough for children to understand what they did good and how it made you feel. Parents often devote too much detail to fault-finding. When the attention to detail is directed to finding good, it results in motivated children with strong self-esteems. If the devil is in the details, perhaps the saints are also.

About The Author

Jeffrey D. Murrah is The Results-Oriented Therapist specializing in marriage and family conflicts. Visit www.restorethefamily.com to sign up for his free newsletter.

www.restorethefamily.com

recurring cleaning service Mundelein ..

In The News:

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

Children are People, Not Machines

Parenting