Home
>
Parenting
>
Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?

Children are much more likely to cooperate with adults who like being with them and who let them know they are worthwhile. This builds a level of trust and a feeling of safety. Within that environment, they are more likely to respond by being helpful and pleasant.

Relationships are created step by step. Sometimes the smallest things - a word of encouragement or small act of appreciation - can tilt the balance and create a whole new energy in a relationship.

We all need to feel accepted and approved of.

If your children walk into the room and you look up and smile, glad to see them, they will receive the message:

"I am worthwhile."

"I am welcome and appreciated."

That unspoken message creates an atmosphere in your home that feels safe and inviting.

So start looking for things you appreciate about your child.

We humans tend to notice the things we focus on.

Let me give you an example. I never paid much attention to cars and trucks. If the one I had got me where I wanted to go, I was happy, so I didn't notice what other people were driving.

A few years ago, I bought a Saturn sedan - turquoise. Very pretty, I thought. For the next several weeks, everywhere I went, I saw Saturns. And lots of them were turquoise. I hadn't noticed before, because I wasn't thinking about Saturns. But all of a sudden, there they were. Everywhere.

What changed?

My FOCUS.

My ATTENTION.

After buying a Saturn, I was thinking about Saturns, so I noticed the ones around me. It's human nature. We notice what we look for.

Look for the things you want to see in your child.

Do you want him:

- to be smart?

- to take responsibility?

- to be capable?

- to be lovable?

Then look for those things in him.

If you look for things he is doing wrong, you will find them.

If you look for things he is doing right, you will find those as well.

If you look for things you can praise, they are there, but you have to notice.

Just as the Saturns were all around me, I didn't see them until I was focused on them. The same is true of people.

Your children are doing things now that would please you, if you took the time to notice. And they are waiting to be acknowledged.

Stay in your heart.

When you are not in your heart, you are likely to be judging, condemning, looking for things that are wrong. And remember: whatever you look for, you will find.

So why not deliberately think about things that you feel good about? They are there, waiting for you to notice.

Make a list of the things you most enjoy or admire in your child.

- Think of qualities she has such as a sense of humor, a tender heart or determination.

- Think about abilities he has, such as artistic, musical or athletic.

- Think about good times you have had together - memories that make you smile and feel your heart connection with your child.

Write them down.

Then, take time to sit quietly and think about those things.

Read over your list. Stay with it until the love wells up within you. When you get the FEELING of love, sit with it for a few minutes. Savor it?without an expectation that it will be reciprocated. At this point, this is all about YOU - your thoughts, feelings, actions.

Then take that feeling of love with you every time you interact with your child.

You may start to see results right away - changes in your child. If so, that's great. If not, give it time.

This process is about transforming something in yourself, rather than trying to change anything in your child.

Now, as you go through your day, not just today, but every day, look for things to appreciate in your child.

Then let her know.

Tell him you love him.

Tell her what you appreciate about her, be sure that it is totally sincere.

Do not let any day go by without acknowledging your child at least once. More is even better, (but don't over do it, or it may seem phony).

Appreciation is very powerful.

Whenever you bring feelings of appreciation, rather than judgment, you are in a powerful position to invite your child to join you.

As you begin to notice the positives and express your appreciation, your child will respond, but do not expect or require a change in his behavior. That will happen naturally, in its own time. This is not about him - it's about YOU.

As you are falling asleep tonight: be sure you are in your heart.

Use pictures, memories or thoughts about your child that invite the feeling of appreciation. Perhaps it will be a memory from today.

Fall asleep considering the things you appreciate about your child, and allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of love that wells up within you.

Then surely, you will have sweet dreams, knowing you just created a tomorrow filled with love.

Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child."

For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.

This article is copyright protected.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

professional maid services Park Ridge ..

In The News:

ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.

ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.

Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.

DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.

Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.

Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.

Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.

Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.