Bullies

Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood. There's not much we can do to protect our children from these cruel and brutal kids except teach them how to defend themselves from an otherwise unprovoked attack of the bullying kind.

Bullies are kids who have tremendous low self-esteem. They feel better about themselves by tormenting another, usually smaller or weaker child. If a bully decides to pick on someone that is not smaller in size but otherwise imagined as weak, they will usually have a gang around to further ensure the unfairness of the battle. They do not fight fair, nor do they understand compassion, dignity or basic integrity. Gee, wonder where they learned these lovely qualities?

A larger, stronger individual has most likely bullied a child who feels the need to bully another smaller or weaker child. Parents or caretakers who regularly torment or abuse their children are teaching these children to torment and abuse others who are not able to stand up to their size, strength or perceived power. These parents or caretakers are bullies themselves. Adult bullies are spouse beaters, verbal abusers, child abusers and the type of person we see personified in fiction as the menace to weaker, gentler people everywhere. They are the ones we love to hate in movies and books. Sadly, they are merely carrying on the tradition of their upbringing.

All we can do is teach our children to stand up for themselves in this situation ... to avoid kids who have nothing better to do than torture other children and how to defend themselves if they ever do become the target of a bully.

We do not regularly teach our children to kick someone's teeth down their throat or fill their ears with a vicious verbal attack but I do believe that, under extenuating circumstances, children should be taught to fight back, to do whatever it takes to stop their attacker. Children might ignore a name caller or walk away from an instigator, but to do nothing when physically hurt by another child (or adult) leaves them defenseless. I have told my daughters to never start a fight but to always finish one, if possible. They have my total approval in defending themselves, whatever it takes. As much as we don't want to tell our kids to hurt another, do we really want to see our kids get hurt themselves? Of course not.

My older daughter was tormented last year for the first few months of school by a group of boys who clearly had no idea how to relate to a cute girl. ;-) She was pretty freaked out ... at first. Then she fought back, giving them a dose of their own medicine. She stood up for herself with dignity and more smarts than the boys were capable of responding to. They are now all very good friends. These boys would fight to the death for her if she were threatened. They huddled around and comforted her when she didn't make the cheer leading team. They STILL apologize for having tortured her! Yes, she is a strong-minded kid. A lot of kids aren't. Those are the little darlings who need to learn to defend themselves the most.

Sometimes, enrolling a child, especially a boy, in a self-defense class works wonders for their self-esteem. They are instructed from the first day that they are not to use their newfound talent on another human being, however, the inner strength and physical control they learn can do wonders for their shy and reserved natures. Other good avenues for a child in need of a boost are sport lessons, gymnastics or possibly acting or dance classes for a child who expresses a desire to learn the arts. The better kids feel about themselves, the less likely they are to become victims or bullies in life. A good heart to heart conversation, where the child is heard and understood, can also work miracles in healing a wounded spirit. A child who bullies other children needs to be stopped. They are in desperate need of instruction on caring for and nurturing others. Sometimes, a simple "How would YOU feel ...?" can jar a recessed nerve in their brain to awaken compassion and respect. Naturally, these lessons are best learned at home but a child who is on his way to becoming a sociopath needs help wherever he can get it.

Approaching the parents of a bully is probably one of the most unrewarding encounters you might have. They most likely have taught their child to be a bully, albeit unconsciously through a variety of abusive behaviors. I think it is imperative that these parents be made aware of their child's antisocial problem, whether from the school or another parent whose kid has become a victim of the bully. In so doing, we might indirectly encourage some of these parents and caretakers to reevaluate their family values and environment.

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com

scheduled cleaning services Winnetka ..

In The News:

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.

Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.

Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.

Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.

The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.

Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.

LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.

Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Bullies

Parenting