Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character that decides on the strength of personality and the degree of inner freedom:
- "self assurance" describes mostly the behaviour. Counterparts are insecure behaviour or shyness.
- "self confidence" is the mental and emotional state that causes the outer appearance.
- "charisma" is the effect that those have on others.
Self confidence doesn't mean being perfect or presenting oneself in a perfect way, but realizing and accepting own strengths and weaknesses, using strengths to reach aims and considering weaknesses as challenges, not insurmountable limits.
It can be observed that some children are by nature more actively exploring their environment than others. So possibly self confidence has a genetic foundation.
Still, all experiences that include social interaction, with parents, relatives, friends and classmates, influence the development of self esteem. Appreciation has a positive, rejection a negative effect. But unfortunately, it's not that easy.
False or fake appreciation can often be observed with parents and relatives. For example the adoration of even the smallest output of infant creativity, like crude drawings, and other approvals of a child's intelligence and appearance can lead to a situation of over-confidence. Undeserved rejection, on the other hand, like punishing or disregarding a child out of an own bad mood, will confuse it and create insecurity.
Over-confidence, or the belief in own abilities and performance that are not real, can lead to arrogance. This can either turn into insecurity, if the person later realizes the truth, or it turns into an inconsiderate behaviour, which also isn't making life easier. Insecurity or shyness are very common burdens and they tend to create a lot of problems. Aside from lacking social and personal success, the constant fear of the own inferiority creates barriers that are hard to overcome.
So what's the secret of how to give a child a healthy self-confidence?
- Be realistic with appreciation. If you feel you should commend your child for something, consider what would be the ability at its age and then evaluate the outcome. If it deserves appreciation, give it. If you have the feeling that your child is putting to much effort in getting your attention, try to get it back down to reality carefully. Love and appreciation shouldn't be goods that can be bought.
- Don't criticize or reject your child out of a bad mood. If you come home after a stressful day and your kid comes up with a picture, show some interest - it might mean a lot more to it than you think.
- Keep an eye on the influence your child is receiving from its friends. But if you have a bad feeling, try to talk to your child before you call the offender's parents and ask for a restraining order.
- Don't do things for your child if it's afraid of something. It might be hard sometimes, but how should it learn to be independent if it can always hide behind its parents? Later on, it will lack the confidence that comes from the experience of having to do things on its own.
- Always be there to give advice if required. There's a whole new world of complex social systems out there, and it's easy to get lost. Remember when you were a child probably you can learn a lot from that.
Brigette Meier is an occassional author for http://www.e-nterests.com - visit the site for more interesting articles.
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareDoes your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Parenting |