Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together.
As I was doing research for a recent book, I interviewed a young counselor at a youth camp. I was impressed with her sincerity, maturity, and gratitude that her "blended family" had made the effort and sacrifice to work together toward a common goal. She admitted that she was the instigator of most of the conflict and absolutely refused to cooperate on even the most menial request by her step-mother. She could tell that the adults were becoming increasingly unhappy and stressed and she was secretly glad that they were suffering.
Then an interesting thing happened. She was invited to spend a weekend with a friend and she saw what happens when families get along and support one another. The family held a family meeting to decide about some upcoming projects and chores. When putting activities on the calendar, she was amazed to see her friend volunteer to attend the ball game with her little brother so the parents could make another commitment. They laughed and joked with good natured ribbing as opposed to sarcastic mean spirited teasing. The family ended the family meeting with ice cream sundaes and she saw the kids pitch in without being asked and that they served the parents before getting their own bowl.
It was an eye-opener for this young lady to see that it is possible to work together in a win-win atmosphere. She honestly had not even realized it was possible to live in harmony as opposed to chaos and anger.
When she got home from that stay, she called a family meeting and everyone came fearing that she was going to say she was moving out if she didn't get her way. Instead, she told them about what she had witnessed and asked for a commitment for all of them to start over and become a cooperative, supportive and loving family where everyone was treated with respect.
She went on to tell me that it had not been easy to change old habits, especially with her. But, as a family they had set a goal and a commitment and had worked on their relationships and communication skills daily. As a young adult, she said that because of that commitment, she had gone into counseling to assist other young people who were filled with anger. She wanted to share the valuable lessons that she had learned.
Oh yes, she counts her step-mother as one of her best friends now.
In our living room is a beautiful potted plant. It contains a number of small individual stems and branches that, as separate entities, are fragile and unsteady. Each stem could probably make it if it were broken off and stuck in a glass of water, but it might not. However, grouped together, they gain strength and protection from one another. Their roots are intertwined and form a foundation that allows them to successfully withstand being knocked over and occasionally neglected.
Families are like that plant. We are all in this together, and we need to know there are others who will hold us up when we need it and support us as we grow stronger. The word for the strength of a unit is synergy. It means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
It is that common goal of cooperation and support that builds success in our children and our families. Please don't give up. Try one more time to provide the loving and respectful environment that each member of the family deserves.
Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world.
Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator ? 2005 www.artichokepress.com
This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com
tidy up service Northbrook ..Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More
The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More
Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More
Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
Parenting |